Chicken Thursdays
by Unlucky-charm
Summary: On Thursdays, he had him all to himself, at least just for a while. He might never have the oppurtunity or the pride, but one day, he will show him much more than he has seen...with the help of Tweek of course. It's the second time I'm posting this because it had been removed from the site. Rated M for later chapters.
1. Chicken Marsala

**Chicken Marsala**

Chapter 1

By, the Unlucky-Charm

Just another Thursday had gone by, meaning I'd have to wait another full 7 days for another one. Fuck. Another whole 168 hours, just to relive another blissful Thursday, which in my book was the best day ever to be created. Thursday was like a weekly Christmas to me, a weekly Halloween, Easter, Spring Break and summer vacation, all concentrated in one short day of 24 hours. Technically it was less, seeing as the only moments of such felicity were the hours I spent in school, starting from 8 and ending at 3, giving me a torturously curt 7 hours to enjoy it.

There was even an expression in French: "La semaine au 4 jeudis." It was an expression to say 'never in hell'. It actually meant 'the week of four Thursdays', but it was the equivalent of '...when pigs fly'. So if anyone ever asked me to abandon Stripes, for example, my answer would easily be: "La semaine au 4 jeudis, bitch!".

Of course I could never say this out loud, knowing that it would ruin my whole reputation if I did. In everyone's mind, Craig Tucker was a stoic asshole who felt nothing, ever, ever, ever. If the rare occasion came for me to speak in class, everyone would shut up and watch me, as if what I was about to say would be the most breathtaking thing in the world. What I actually said was 'Canberra', since it was the answer to the question 'What is the capital of Australia?'. Nobody knew the answer, so to spare Mr. Garrison the embarrassment in front of Mr. Mackey, who was also present in class, I raised my hand and actually decided to say something. What confused me a little was how nobody knew, it wasn't like it was a hard math question or anything, isn't this shit supposed to be common knowledge to us? I mean, even Kyle didn't know! He just sat there, fiddling around with his pencil, not paying much attention. He drummed it on his desk softly, not making too much noise, tucked an escaped red curl back into his hat, chewed on the side of his fingers, then he licked his lips and I think I might have died right there but...Okay, yeah, I was totally staring at him, but how can I help myself? It boggles me how anyone else can! Which brings me back to my Thursday topic...

Other than being the easiest day, consisting of Spanish class (free time), Arts and Gym, it was the one and only day, I repeat, the ONE and ONLY day, where Kyle had absolutely NO classes with ANY of his friends. Why is this good? How is this benefitting me? Because instead, he was in every class with ME. Walking down the sidewalk to my house, a devilish grin appeared on my face at the thought. It was a risk; no one could ever see me smile, it would be mortifying. Plus, I'm sure I look kind of creepy.

Anyways, carrying on... In Spanish, we worked together, since all I knew was 'bonjourno' and he was practically fluent. In arts class, we were seated at the same table, because the teacher knew how terrible I was and how talented Kyle was. And finally gym, where we were once again partners because I was in pretty good shape and DAMN did he suck! Don't get me wrong here, I don't want to be mean to my fucking sexy redhead, but other than that ass of his, there's not much he's rocking during gym. But that's what I loved about those last two periods of the day. I got to see him all sweaty and frustrated, which frankly, was nothing more than a turn on to me. When we trained for basketball, we played one on one together and the only reason he got the ball from me that one time and scored, was because he was tired, angry and was staring at me with his deadly green eyes. And I don't know if anyone has felt this before, but at that moment, I was 98% sure that my insides had just melted at the sight of those bright green orbs. So trust me dude, when you think your insides have melted, your last worry is if the ball was taken from you.

I think that's truly what I like about Kyle; that he puts so much feeling in everything he does. Unlike me, who only feels pain when you punch me across the face, Kyle can feel anything. There are so many things that make him happy, sadden, or anger him. Best part is that he's not afraid to show it. Compared to him, I was nothing but a stoic, emotionless bastard who only felt two things: boredom, almost every second of his life, and fuzziness that made him want to puke, only when Kyle was around. I should really ask Marsh about that, seeing that he's an expert in love and vomit.

The first time that happened was during arts, when my brush strokes were going in the wrong direction, so Kyle had to hold my hand with the paintbrush to show me how it was done. The Jew was talking, giving me explanations, but it was sort of hard to listen when my lunch kept filling back into my mouth every time I got another whiff of his fucking delicious scent. It was embarrassing afterwards, when my painting came out even crappier than I thought, with only one or two corners of it looking decent (the corners Kyle did for me). Usually though, shit like that happens during gym when I have to hold his feet when he does sit ups. When he swings his torso up and down with his hands behind his head, with every ascent, I got a whiff of his perfume again, not to mention the fact that his face was so close to mine, even for the shortest second, made the butterflies in my stomach die of exhaustion.

As I entered my home and closed the door behind me, my phone began to buzz in my pocket. I opened it to see that I had a text from Tweek, my best friend and the only person who I trusted at all. I could tell Tweek any secret, knowing that the pressure would be too much and keep him from spilling. I pressed on the little envelope on my screen and read it.

**From Tweek:**

"**Its thursdaaaay, thursdaaaay, gotta get down on thursdaaaaaaaay! LOL So how'd it go with jewboy?"**

I chuckled as I read it, imagining Tweek actually singing it. You know, for a paranoid caffeine addict on meds, Tweek was a pretty big assed tease.. In fact, he was the first to notice my 'thing' for Kyle...Well, he called it a 'thing', I refer to it as 'eternal love and adoration', but I suppose we have different opinions.

It had happened at the beginning of the school year, it was, naturally, a Thursday and the boy's locker-room/bathroom was flooded or something. The boys in the classes that had gym that day decided to change in the hallways. We saw no harm in it. It wasn't like we were taking it ALL off (though I wish SOMEONE had). So, long story short, Kyle took all his clothes off, leaving only his boxers and Tweek caught me staring...um no, more like gaping to the extent of being charged with visual rape, at Kyle. I hadn't realise what I was doing and I hadn't noticed that Tweek was next to me until he broke into a chorus of 'Craig and Jewboy sitting in a tree, K.I.S.S.I.N.G.!'. Since then, whenever something interesting would happen between Kyle and me, I would go tell Tweek like an excited pre-teen. I obviously didn't act like one in front of my best friend, but I sure as hell felt like one on the inside.

Speaking of young pre-teen girls, there was one now, in the living room, fixing up some good snacks on the coffee table.

"Hey twerp." I said, standing right behind her.

"Hey asshole." She replied.

"You got someone special coming over, or do you just love me this much?" I asked her and reached for the bowl of chips.

She smacked my hand away, which I was expecting, and swung around facing me, a cute little frown on her face. "If you must know, I have a boy coming over and I would really like to impress him." She said and blushed. "So go away."

I chuckled and ruffled her hair. "Oh, well excuse me! I'll be upstairs then. You kids be safe!" I said and began running up the stairs.

"What the hell do you mean by 'be safe'?" She yelled after me, but my only response became the slamming of my bedroom door.

Once in my room alone, in peace, I did what I always did on Thursdays after school. I fed Stripes, threw my bag aside into a corner and myself onto my bed, and put on my giant green headphones. Yes, you heard me right, giant GREEN headphone. Guess why they're green... In all honesty though, not only is that Kyle's color, it's also Tweek's favourite and Stripes' as well (I decided it was). I turned my music on and let it blast through my eardrums. I shut my eyes and replayed the Kyle related events of the day in my head like some kind of stalker's slide show of his victim's pictures he took. The images went well with the music and made me feel better. Not that I was feeling bad or anything, I just felt better than I was, I guess.

A while later, when the 10th song ended, I knew at least half an hour must have passed and maybe I should check on Ruby and his boyfriend...or boy-friend, I wasn't too sure.

I took off my headphones and opened my door without making any noise. The first thing I heard from down stairs was Ruby, I couldn't really understand what she was saying exactly, but I could tell she asked a question. I heard some rustling and then her male companion's answer...

Holy. Shit.

Let me tell you, that was NO fucking voice of a 12 year old preadolescent boy. That muffled noise that came from that kid sounded like a fucking man's, and if he was I wouldn't think twice about breaking his neck and then Ruby's as well. Damn it, if this dude is some pedophile, I'm going to be sooooo pissed.

I went down the stairs at a normal speed and planned how I was going to step into the kitchen casually, without being noticed. If I did end up getting caught, I would say hello and run back upstairs. All I needed was a glimpse of this guy to determine if I should secretly watch them from on top of the staircase, just keep my bedroom door open or, he could always turn out to be some kid with a manly voice.

But it wasn't.

My plan went horribly wrong the second I actually GOT the glimpse of my pedophile rapist/murderer who was eating my chips. I stood in the doorframe of the living room, silently watching them for a few second before they noticed me. His head right next to Ruby's, a math book between them and a death glare from the part of my sister; that's all I noticed before he fully looked up at me. But once those green eyes had met mine, everything else was gone.

"Hey Craig!" He said cheerfully, waving his hand.

It was odd, to say the least, how everything just lost its importance all of a sudden. I was aware Ruby was shooting daggers at me with her eyes and I was aware of the bowl of my favourite chips on the table and also VERY aware of how hungry I was, but except for Kyle, everything had become black and white to me, like those fancy photography pieces. My brain had discoloured everything to bring out Kyle, make him pop in this perfect picture I was seeing at the moment.

"Yes, hello brother. What are you doing?" Ruby asked.

My mouth was already hanging open, but now that I wanted to put it to use, my vocal cords decided to freeze up. My eyes began to burn. Was I not blinking? No...I don't think I was; didn't even want to miss a second of what was happening here.

"You okay dude? You look scared." He said.

Was I okay? I was sure as hell not scared, especially with him here, sitting on my couch, eating my food, but was I really all right? If my body temperature kept sky rocketing and then going down to below freezing, was I okay? If every bone in my body was trembling, threatening to betray me and make me collapse, was I okay? And if all the saliva in my mouth disappeared and went to my hands, dampening my palms, was I okay? Maybe not, but all I knew at the moment was that both my infatuation and sister were staring at me, waiting for me to say something.

"Dude, you can take your hat off you know."

If there is a God out there, please kill me now. Did I seriously just say that? He worried about me and asked me if I was okay and what'd I say? That's right, I told him to take his hat off! The hat I loved more than he could ever imagine. That hat, who's replicas I would spot in stores and hide them, because I would never imagine anyone else but him wearing that hat, ever. I couldn't allow that to happen. Besides, I don't think anyone else would be able to pull it off.

"Um, no, I rather keep it on if you don't mind." He said politely.

"Okay." Was all I said, even though I was dying to apologize and tell him he could wear forty hats if he wanted to, as long as I got to see those small red curls escaping from under them.

"It's too bad, I'm sure you have gorgeous hair!" Ruby said, settling her hand on Kyle's forearm. Kyle blushed and chuckled uneasily.

"Well, I don't know, it's kind of a mess." He smiled, making his eyes curve into little half moons, adding to his cuteness.

My sister, that bitch, was totally flirting. Of course I knew her chances were even lower than mine, but it still bothered me. She was a girl; it was easier for her. I needed to work twice as hard to get close to him or touch him, and brushing up against him in the hallways does not count! But leave it to Kyle to be completely oblivious of it all. Ruby could have began rubbing the crotch of his pants, but Kyle would just continue explaining math to her...Wait, why the fuck IS he explaining math to her?

"What are you doing here?" I blurted out, interrupting their moment.

"Oh, um, your parents asked me to tutor Ruby in math and I accepted so...here I am." He said, another awkward smile from his part, along with a deepening blush. Poor kid. Every time he BEGAN to feel comfortable again, one of us would say something weird, making him flush once more.

"Right." I said. "I'll leave you two alone then."

What I said hurt, because that was the last thing I wanted to do. But what cut even deeper was Ruby's satisfied smirk.

"Yes, you do that." She said.

After a quick nod to the both of them, I ran up the stairs taking two steps at a time and locked myself up in my room once more. My heart was beating against my chest and I hadn't realised what loud and deep breaths I was taking. Kyle was in my house and I had to stay away from him. It was like putting McCormick in the same house as a hot girl and telling him that she cannot be touched. In a way this was better, since now I wouldn't have to talk to him, hence making myself look like a complete idiot. At school it was different. There were people around and I could act like by emotionless self, but what just happened was too much; I hadn't seen it coming...I needed backup.

I pulled out my phone and hit the number 1, which speed dialled Tweek.

"Agh! Hello?" I heard Tweek answer before the first ring ended.

"Yeah Tweek? It's me. It's an emergency, I need you here now!"

"Ngh! You better not be horny asshole!"

"Trust me, you'll understand when you get here. The door's open, just walk in." I said and hung up.

I was so agitated, it wasn't even normal. I felt hot, but no matter how many times I was splashing my face with water, or how many layers of clothing I removed, this feeling wouldn't go away. I just needed Tweek to get here. I needed him to give me a plan, or at least barge in on Kyle and Ruby and make them feel uncomfortable. I snickered at the thought and went back to pacing in my room.

'What did we learn today Craig?' I asked myself.

First of all, love makes you say stupid things, especially when your crush decides to randomly pop in and tutor your sister. And second, Ruby and I have the same tastes, which is pretty bad right there. Though, this could be some kind of benefit for me, having Kyle around the house every few days. Maybe one day, for example, I'd ask him to stay longer to hang out or have dinner. I'm not too sure on how that would go seeing as Ruby would also be present. It's not like I can take him to my room either. Kyle and me alone, talking on my bed...I'm not sure if I could control myself.

Before any inappropriate images would come to mind, I heard the front door open. Tweek had finally come to my rescue...I hope.

I stepped out of my room again and sat myself at the top of the stairs so I could hear what would go down. It was my spy location since I was a kid. When my parents fought or made decisions, I would always hear them talk. Not that they fought often, but I always listened in just in case. We weren't a fucked up family to be honest. We did love each other, it's just that we each had very bad personalities.

"Craig?" I heard Tweek yell nervously.

I didn't answer, hoping that Ruby would. I heard some muffled noises again, coming from the living room, followed my Ruby yelling.

"Tweek? Is that you? He's in his room!"

I heard Tweek's steps going into the living room and a grin appeared on my face. The good part was coming up.

"Oh Ruby, thank- AGH!" Tweek yelped. "Holy shit! Kyle?"

I clapped my hand over my mouth because I sooooo wanted to laugh right now.

"Hey Tweek." He spoke.

"Dude! Ngh! What the...what are you doing?" His voice was shaky and I could just imagine how wide his eyes were at the moment.

"I'm tutoring Ruby." He answered.

"OH MY GOD! Are you...are you serious?" My blonde friend was panicking. It wasn't that he was scared I guess, more like totally stoked that Kyle was in my house. It's just that all of Tweek's emotions sound the same.

"Like just this one time or...?" He sounded like he had calmed down and I needed to remind myself to buy that kid a coffee for having asked that question.

"Well, um, every Thursday I guess." Kyle replied, feeling a little uncomfortable I'm sure. For that, Tweek was getting a second cup.

"OH GOD! That is SO great!" He blurted. "I-I mean, no...that's great for Craig UH NO, I mean for Ruby, you know? Not that it's bad for Craig but..." Well there went his second cup. It was time to step in.

"Tweek! Get up here!" I shouted.

"OH! Right! I'm coming!"

He sprinted up the stairs and almost tripped over me when he made it to the top. He stood in front of me and opened his mouth wide, about to probably say something out loud. So I slapped my hand over his mouth, and dragged him to my room as if I was kidnapping him. Even knowing that I was his best friend, he still struggled and yelled into my palm. Once inside the safe walls of my room, I let him go.

"OHMYSWEETJESUS CRAIG!"

"Yeah, I know." I said.

"He's HERE!" He pointed out the obvious.

"Yeah, but with Ruby." I said and rolled my eyes. "I think she likes him."

"No shit!" He waved his hand at me. "She was like devouring him with her eyes...kind of like how you look at him, only a bit scarier."

"Right...So, what do I do?"

"Well, if you were a normal person, I'd tell you to ask him to stay. But, seeing as your, ngh, Craig Tucker; a stoic ass who doesn't give a shit about anybody, I'll have to think about this." He said, twitching and fidgeting the whole way through. Though I have to give it to him, he HAS improved during the years.

"Okay, so I have to make a move, but still look like I don't care."

"Agh! Yes! Be selfish like...ask him if you can borrow some money."

Of all the ideas he could give...

"Okay, um no?" I said and frowned at him.

"Ngh! Okay! Um, how about...you guys have Arts together right?" I nodded. "So, why don't you ask him about something like that. Like, you guys are studying still life right? Did the teacher give you the projects yet, 'cause she gave us the projects." He spoke really fast, my brain couldn't process it at the same rate. It took me some time to realise that he had asked me a question.

"Um yeah, we need to pick out an artist and reproduce one of his paintings."

"Have you picked?"

"Yeah, I think were doing that Van Gogh guy."

"Okay, so what we're gonna do is, ngh, go downstairs, start making dinner, pretend like we're having a conversation and then you'll pop your head around the corner and ask him something about it."

Ah yes, yet another amazing thing about Thursday. My parents weren't home until late at night, leaving me with the dinner decisions. Which gave me yet another idea...

After Tweek fixed my hair a bit, claiming that I looked too much like Stan, we went downstairs and stepped into the kitchen soundlessly. We began taking out the pots and pans and other kitchen crap I needed. Tweek helped by making some noise with the equipment so they would think we were actually up to something in here. Exactly 3 minutes later, I decided to put my plan into action.

"Watch this." I whispered to Tweek and made my way to the living room.

Nothing had budged, except for the quantity of chips in the bowl and Ruby's hair. The slut had untied her ponytail, letting her bright orange hair fall on her shoulders. Of course, her hair looked like ground carrots next to Kyle's shiny red locks. If I were her, I'd hide my face rather than show off. With his looks, Kyle would be intimidating if he weren't so sweet and unconfident.

"Hey Rubes." I said rudely, and leaned of the doorframe. "What d'ya want for dinner." My nostrils flared, adding nice to the cruel tone I was using with her.

"Whatever Craig, just go away." She gave me attitude and I didn't like that.

"I'm making brown rice."

"You asshole, you know I hate brown rice."

"Well then pick something else you brat."

Kyle's face was priceless. If it weren't for how annoyed I was of my sister, I would have laughed out loud. He seemed startled at how we spoke to each other, which was nothing new to the my usual group of friends. I'm sure he and his brother were nothing like us. Ike was a sweet kid, just like his brother.

"Fine, I want chicken, with that good sauce you make."

Oh, how my plan was going perfectly. My initial idea was to reveal to Kyle that I can cook, but the comment Ruby just made, made me sound all the better at it. It was true though, I was pretty good. Of course, I didn't share the passion of any good chef, I just had a knack for it, I guess. Now watch as I make myself sound all the more pro.

"You mean the marsala?" Aw yeah, he raised his eyebrows!

"Yes, whatever."

"Craig you cook?" He asked.

Jackpot.

"Yeah, I guess." I didn't want to, but I had to keep it short. It's already enough that he knows I cook, I can't sound enthusiastic about it.

"That's so cool." He smiled at me. "I didn't know."

"Yeah..."

Oh God, he was looking at me again with those EYES! They were so unnaturally green. If I hadn't known him since preschool, I'd be sure he was wearing contacts. And let me assure you, he's not. Since he was a kid, Kyle's eyes had always been big, almond shaped, and very, very, green.

"Oh and by the way." I began to speak again, because the silence had begun to stretch out. "For arts, I was thinking maybe we could do Van Gogh, since he's known and shit."

"Um, yeah sure. We need to pick out a painting though. I can do that if you want."

"Sure, if you want." I shrugged and stuffed my hands into my pockets. To him, I was acting natural, the way Craig Tucker always did. What he didn't know was how hard I was trying to maintain my expression right now. I could feel myself slowly destroying my own hard exterior, but I had to resist. I couldn't show how much I needed to see those eyes again, I forced mine to keep looking down. And once again, Tweek came to my rescue.

"Agh Craig!" He yelled from the kitchen. "Your potato au gratin is ready, ngh...I think."

This time, I saw both Kyle and Ruby raise their eyebrows. They were obviously impressed, but also very ignorant. I wanted to laugh at all three of them, since potato au gratin took at least an hour and a half to make. Oh well, ignorance is bliss, at least to me.

I went back to the kitchen, to see Tweek sitting on the floor with a random cookbook in his arms. He was turning the pages, with a slight frown on his face. He was cute when he made that face.

"Damn it! I should have said Beef Bourguignon!" He said, and smashed the book with the side of his fist.

'Yeah, Tweek, because THAT will take much less time!' I thought sarcastically.

"Thanks man." I said, and pulled him up on is feet. "That was cool."

"Yeah, I know." He said, with a cocky smile. "I totally made you look like a stud in front of jewboy."

"Yeah and Ruby. I'm gonna have to find an explanation for why there IS no potato au gratin."

"Just tell her I ate it." Tweek suggested.

"Yeah," I looked down at his skinny body. "Sure you did."

Half an hour later, Kyle announced his leave and put on his jacket. We all escorted him to the door. Rube and Tweek were smiling like retards and I was using every fibre in my being to stop me from doing so as well.

"Well, bye guys." He said with a smile, stepping out of the house. "I hope that potato au gratin is a success Craig, I'd like to taste it sometime."

With a quick wave he continued his way down our front lawn.

"Bye Kyle!" Tweek yelled and waved. "I'm sure Craig would have you taste something better than that!"

Once he had disappeared down the sidewalk, Rube quickly ran inside and disappeared into her room, giving me the opportunity to commit some domestic violence.

"Tweek, I am going to beat you to death now, so please stay still." I growled through clenched teeth.

"AGH!" He yelled and hid behind the couch.

"Taste something better! Really Tweek?"

We both began circling the couch slowly, me ready to attack and him scared to death.

"Dude! He didn't get it! He just smiled!"

He was right. If anyone else had said it, Kyle would have probably gotten the pun, but this was Tweek we were talking about. Nobody but me would have thought that Tweek would say such a thing. Little do those people know that Tweek is a total pervert. I found out the first time when I discovered his 'ass-rating' papers, but that's a different story.

"That doesn't change the fact that you SAID it."

"I didn't mean it that way!" He squealed.

By now, I was standing behind the couch and he was in front of it. In a swift movement, I grabbed his wrists, and pulled his face to mine, causing him to trip and end up on the couch. Taking this chance, I hoped over the sofa and pinned Tweek down on it.

"AH! DON'T KILL ME!" He yelled.

"I'm not gonna-"

*Ding*

The food was ready, lucky for Tweek, so I removed myself from on top of him and went back to the kitchen, where the chicken was ready. I took it out and as expected, it was perfect. I asked Tweek to take out plates and utensils and we set the table for three.

"Ruby!" I shouted. "Get your ass down here, the chicken's ready."

I turned around and saw Tweek rummaging in the bottom drawer under the stove top.

"Tweek what the hell are you looking for?"

"Candles. Where are they? You know, those really long ones and-"

"We're not fucking lighting candles. It's not a damn romantic dinner for three." I said in my nasally voice.

"Fine then." He said, sounding disappointed. He got up and shut the drawer with his foot. He looked at the floor and watched me from the corner of his eyes, a devious smile spreading on his lips. "Besides," he mumbled, "it's not like Kyle's gonna be joining us." He snickered.

"Damn it Tweek, you're seriously asking for it today." I snarled.

Giggling like a mad man, he pranced away out of the kitchen. "Ruby! You coming?" he called, right before loud stomping was heard coming down the stairs. Well, someone was angry.

"What's up with you?" I asked, my back to her, once she had entered the kitchen.

"What part of 'go away' do you not understand?" She bitched at me.

"Yeah, what part of 'he's four and a half years older than you' do YOU not understand?" I said, in all calmness because I knew how much that would tick her off more.

"So? I could still get him if I wanted to!"

Tweek giggled. "Ngh, that's what you think princess!"

"He's right. Kyle's not a pedophile." Despite what I had thought earlier...

"It won't make him a pedophile if I date him willingly!"

"Look, Rubes, just get over him." I sat myself in front of her. "That guy is MY age. He's my gym partner and let me tell you, he's a total wimp." I lied.

"He looked strong to me..." She muttered.

"Ruby, you're tiny compared to us! PIP would look strong to you!"

From the sink, I heard Tweek stifle a laugh.

"And he's a nerd Rubes. Why do you think mom and dad picked HIM to be your tutor?" I continued giving her wrong information, but it was all that came to mind that would make any sense.

Defeated, Ruby stared down at her chicken. We all quietly ate and halfway through her meal, Ruby got up and left.

"Where you going?" Tweek asked her.

"I forgot what exercises I had to do for math, Kyle told me to call him in case I forgot." She mumbled, still not meeting any of our gazes. "Don't worry, I won't try anything. I just need the pages."

"Okay." I said and she left, her head hanging low.

"Dude, she really must have, ngh, liked him! She looks really bummed." Tweek said with a mouthful of chicken.

"Yeah well, it's all for the best."

Yeah, all the best for me. Ruby was one less person out of the way. Out of the way of what? I don't know. It wasn't like I had a plan on how to get into Kyle's pants or anything. It was more like being able to actually spend some time with him or show him that I do, in fact, have some feeling. My biggest obstacle would be Stan Marsh, but I'm not even going to bother getting through him. The guy has been with Kyle since they were born, I couldn't expect my redhead to leave his 'super' best friend to hang with me of all people. Besides, the Marsh kid is straight and is currently being pushed around by his LOVELY girlfriend Wendy. At one point I remember, all us guys had an intervention for him. Poor guy sat down looking at us with puppy dog eyes. In the end, it turns out he was aware of it all and was just agreeing to it. Kyle's face was priceless after Stan revealed that to us. He was all red and angry. I even remember him yelling: 'You're doing all this WILLINGLY?' It took a whole Cartman and a Kenny to restrain him from clawing out his friend's eyes.

"You know what this means right?" He said once he had swallowed. "We can't hang on Thursdays anymore...not that we did in the first place..."

"Why? It's even better if we hang out, you can help me with Kyle."

"I guess...Okay, but the second we see him showing signs of interest to you, we need stop."

"Dude, get to your point. Why?"

"Nnnngh, listen Craig. Kyle isn't exactly the outgoing overconfident type. If he has something to say to you, he would never say it in MY presence. Plus, the kid's freakishly polite, ngh, he would never ask to speak to you privately with other people in the room." He explained, waving his fork around in the airs.

Unfortunately, he was right. I always enjoyed having Tweek around; his presence made me look less like an asshole. When the time came where I was obligated to brutally insult someone to their face, Tweek would always be there to compliment their pants or something. Whenever I put everyone in an uncomfortable situation, Tweek would be there to change the topic (usually about something he had read on Perez Hilton's site).

"Fine. You'll come over for the next two weeks but after that, you'll leave us alone." I stated half-heartedly, because what I really wanted to do was hold onto his leg and beg him not to leave me.

Under the table, my leg began to fidget, occasionally hitting the belly of the table. Every time the contact was made, a loud slamming noise was heard, along with the clinking of the silverware. Tweek would look at me questioningly every single time. I knew myself well enough to tell that I was nervous by even the thoughts of being alone with Kyle. The fourth time this happened was the last. Before Tweek put down his fork and held on to the table.

"Okay look. Chill out, he's not here right now. Just eat your yummy chicken and think of something else."

"Dude, it's just that I have nothing to say!"

"How about when you're at school? You always blab about it on the phone every night."

"Yeah, I know, but it's just that we're in a kind of environment there, there's always shit to talk about. I think that if we were alone here, we'd just be sitting in an awkward silence."

"Agh Craig! You are SO slow! Why do you think I made you ask him about the project, hm? Because THAT'S what you guys are gonna talk about, because THAT'S what you're gonna be doing together."

For a kid who thought gnomes were stealing his underwear, he was a pretty smart guy. Well, actually, maybe he was just average and I was just THAT clueless when it came to things like this. It's probably because Tweek would hang out with Stan and his friend a lot when we were younger and those guys did a lot of crap like this, only with girls of course.

"Tweek, what are you doing on Friday, after school?" I asked randomly.

"Um, I'm going to that frozen yogurt place with Butters."

"And after that?"

"I'm going to his house, I think."

It was a useless question, leading to a pointless conversation about which topping was the best, but it was what I was aiming for. I needed to get off that topic for now before I went out of my comfort zone. Sure, Tweek is my best friend and he wouldn't expect me to be all nice all of a sudden, but we both knew that, eventually, I WOULD have to resort to that. They say opposites attract, but I think Kyle and I are WAY too far apart. And I knew that, one day, I would have to suck it up, slap on a smile and go talk to him (nicely).

Until that day came, I guess I could say I was content with staring at his ass during gym and finding excuses to touch him during arts. And only now did I realise that the worst was come to happen. I was slowly becoming like them; like Stan and his group. I have become as insecure as Cartman, as pathetic as Marsh and I swear, one last look at that Jew's ass and I'm a pervert just like Kenny.

On Friday morning, I didn't want to get up and it would have been the right decision.

The day went by slowly, without anything interesting happening other than the chilling glares I kept getting from Kyle. In the morning, in the hallways, our eyes met for a second but then the moment ended with him rolling his eyes and turning away. My heart sank, but being the emotionless idiot I am, I convinced myself that he was just stressed about his math exam.

But then, it happened during lunch. I looked up from my food, only to see that he was already staring. His face wore a deep frown and deadly, squinting eyes. His jaw was clenched and so were his fists settled on top of the table. This time, I was the one to look away, because I don't think I could have dealt with the pain in my chest any longer.


	2. Linguine Tutto Mare

**Linguine Tutto Mare **

Chapter 2

By, the Unlucky-Charm

**A/N. Hey guys, thank you so much for reading an reviewing and everything, I appreciate it and invite you to do it again. There are just a few thing I'd like to point out...**

**First of all, a lot of you wrote to me about chapter one, how 'bonjourno' was NOT Spanish, but Italian. I'd just like to say that, I knew that, and it was sort of part of the joke, as in, Craig was such a fail that he didn't even know how to say hello. If you re-read the passage, you'll understand **

**Second, if any of you know any cool fancy meal names, let me know. It'll be a huge help.**

**Thank you!**

Wednesday was one of the worst nights of my life. Actually, it was THE worst, since so far, I haven't had any bad nights, excluding the times when I was sick. But, on this night, I was far from sick. On this night, I realised that my bed sheets had over 20 horizontal white stripes, my ceiling was stained with about 74 marks and that counting sheep didn't help one bit, especially when you were so very restless in your bed. In the beginning, I had no idea why I was in such a state. In my head, I went over what I had eaten that day, checking if I had an unusual intake of caffeine or sugar, but not only did I have NO sweet tooth in the first place, the only coffee I set eyes on was the one Tweek was carrying with him.

I tried thinking of Kyle, but the image wasn't my usual one of his gorgeous smile and shiny eyes. Instead, it was the one I have been seeing all week which held a frown, grinding teeth and just general waves of anger. I didn't know the reason for this, but I knew it had to stop, especially if it meant having to spend a whole day with him growling at me. I would NOT let this ruin my Thursday; first thing during Spanish, I was going to fix it.

I began planning my words, based on some different scenario hypothesises I had come up with during the night. And by 2 am, I was sure I had a come back for anything my Jew could possibly throw at me. Any scene he could create had been acted out, even though I decided to end some a bit unrealistically, such as spontaneously making out, but it's my fantasy so I do what I want.

It was around 3 am when I began to realise that, despite all the thinking I was doing, the capability of sleep was still beyond me. I was wide awake, thinking of Kyle. It was around 3:30, when I finally understood what was REALLY up with me. Could it be that Kyle WAS the reason I couldn't sleep? If so then, for the first time in my life, I would be feeling actual worry and anxiety, which were both new to me. I couldn't wait for morning to come and yet I feared it. I felt like running over to Kyle's house to ask him what was the matter and at the same time, I knew I would crumble in front of him once I got there.

In a way, I wanted to know the reason of his anger, but would rather hearing it from someone else. If he was mad at ME, I wouldn't want to hear it from him. A lot of people have told me a lot of things straight to my face and I was used to it since I never reacted. However, none of those people were Kyle and thank God for that. If Kyle ever walked up to me and told me I was the cause of his aggravation, I would literally beg for his forgiveness.

Pushing those terrifying thoughts away, I went back to silently laying in my bed for what felt like a million hours with a bunch numbers floating around in my mind, along with their friend, the migraine.

When morning finally rolled around, I realised how much I'd rather stay in bed. I didn't want to go. My parents had left already, I could easily just ditch for the day, but it was Thursday and I would never forgive myself if I missed it. Not because of the classes, but because Kyle was clearly unhappy and I cannot rest until I find out why.

A whole mass of feeling was welling up inside me; it was the same batch that had always been there in the pit of my stomach, trying to get to my heart. I was pushing them down, like always, but I think fear and anxiety had finally just gotten through. I didn't feel these things when it came to anybody else. It was only Kyle and would always be only Kyle.

I loved him, because he made me feel human, and only humans can feel love. So in the end, weirdly enough, my feelings WERE Kyle himself. It's as if, I was born without a soul, but Kyle was born with two (one of them being mine) and slowly, as we spent time together, piece by piece, he'd give me back my humanity.

In the end, after having analysed how Kyle is my one and only reason to live, I hauled myself out of bed, got ready and arrived late to school. The bell was going to ring in 3 minutes when I finally got to school. I still needed to grab my books and head for the Spanish classroom, but the second I stepped into the building, I stopped dead in my tracks. Down the hallway, in front of Tweek's locker, sat yours truly in the arms of the Marsh kid, who seemed to have a hand on his shoulder from where I was standing.

"Jesus Christ Tweek..." I muttered to myself, and marched myself over there.

"Um..." I said, standing in front of them, my arms crossed over my chest.

"Oh! Ngh, h-hey Craig!"

"Explain." I said coldly, cutting to the chase, especially when Stan hadn't even bothered removing his hand.

"Oh! Dude!" Stan finally realised and snatched back his hand. "It's not like that man...He had a panic attack, I-I was only...you were late and-"

"I ran out of coffee. You weren't here. I started to freak out, as usual. Stan was just there and helped me. That okay mister protective pants!" Tweek snapped and stuck his tongue out at me while Stan awkwardly sat there and blushed.

"Y-yeah..." He muttered.

I stood in front of them for a few more seconds, until the bell rang and Stan shot up and faced me.

"Hey um, I got class now...Say hi to Ky for me and...careful dude, he doesn't seem to happy lately." He lowered his voice and the last part and with a pat on my shoulder, he ran off to whatever class he had.

So, even the dense Marsh boy had noticed. Well, no surprise there since Kyle may be the only thing on this planet that Stan has the capability of 'understanding', but it made me even more worried. I still had a shred of hope that Kyle's anger was the result of paranoia acting on my imagination, but with this new information, even that one shred disappeared, leaving me to face Kyle alone.

With a nod to Tweek (and a death glare in return), I ran off to class. Panting quietly, I walked into the Spanish classroom, the only one with all the desks pushed into pairs. The teacher believed that that would give us the chance to help our partner and practice on one another. Sure, Kyle and I did that... for a matter of 15 minutes and spent the rest of the time chatting along about anything, really. The difference was that he actually bothered learning when he got home, I didn't.

The teacher hadn't arrived yet, meaning that I was in fact, 'on time'. I walked over to my usual place next to Kyle, who was staring out the window, red as a tomato, obviously avoiding my gaze by pretending to be uninterested in my presence.

"Hey." I said, keeping my bluntness to a maximum. It didn't matter how much I wanted to smother him right now, or how much I wanted to ask him what was the matter, I had to keep my regular act on, or else I would fall to pieces in front of him. Every word I said, had to be carefully pronounced in a very specific tone.

"Hm..."

Okay, so something was definitely up. There wasn't any cheerful greeting this time, or that blissful smile that came with it. I sat down and was about to ask him how he was doing when something caught my eye. Something that should be illegal in at least 35 states and one European country. Something that proves that God really doesn't like me very much.

Kyle was sitting on his chair, his desk pushed against the wall and half his body leaning over on the window sill. Please, oh God, PLEASE, try to imagine this. His T-shirt had been stretched upward, revealing his now bare lower back and the elastic band of his green boxer shorts: 'Calvin Klein'. My limbs began to fidget, especially my left hand which was closest to him. I was using my whole body to stop my one hand from stretching out and just grabbing... Oh God. I began to sweat and saliva gathered in my mouth. My breathing was uneven and my pants...lets just say I was fighting to get them to STOP from tightening.

"Buenos Dias students!" The teacher announced out loud, making me almost jump in my seat and yell 'I wasn't staring!'.

She began her lesson, which luckily only lasted a few minutes, and then let us handle the rest on our own while she did some shit on her laptop. I turned my attention back to Kyle, but the sexy bastard was still looking away.

"So um, should be do this thing or..." I pushed my book in between us so that we could both look at it, but again, no reaction from him. "Okay, I guess not. So, what's up?" I tried again, but the results remained the same.

With a loud, impatient grunt, I shut the book with force and pushed it away, almost making it fall over the desk.

"Dude...What the hell?" I said, but I think I only made it worse since he began to frown.

With a loud sigh, I scooted my chair closer to his. "Hey. What's up with you?"

He slowly turned his head towards me, looking insanely pissed off. He glared at me for a moment and then turned back around.

"Kyle, c'mon, even Stan has noticed."

I was breaking. All the signs were there, he just couldn't see them. The simple fact that I called his name and referred to the Marsh kid as 'Stan' and not 'Marsh kid' was the obvious proof that I was totally not being myself, therefore I was mad in love with him and couldn't even bare the idea of him being angry. Would that be considered jumping to conclusions? Very probably. But it was still the truth.

This time, it was his turn to sigh. Rolling his eyes with exaggeration, he slammed his hand on his desk and addressed me once again.

"You're a fucking ass hole, you know that?" He said, running his fingers through his fiery red bangs. "Why would you do that? I don't get it."

I wanted to slam my hand over his mouth and stop him from talking. Every word he spoke sliced through me and added on my actual vulnerability. If he went on any longer, I would lose my stoic composure and I couldn't let him see that, at least not now.

"What...what did I do exactly?" I asked, looking away just in case I cracked at any point.

"Why would you pretend to be so nice. If you hate me, just tell me. You're an asshole to everyone else, why would you bother faking it with me?"

Okay, so THIS I didn't expect. What the fuck got him thinking that? In a flash, I went over last week's Thursday in my head, but I couldn't think of anything that I could have done wrong. So why was he under this impression? Did someone tell him something... or was this just another one of those random epiphanies people had?

"Dude...what are you talking about?"

"I mean, I always thought: why is he so nice to me? Well, now I have an idea of what the answer might be." He continued his rant.

He was hurt, that much was obvious, but now so was I. He had questioned it. Why? Why was it so hard to grasp that I, Craig Tucker, can actually like someone? Why is it so impossible to believe? He couldn't even accept that I could actually be nice, just imagine how he would be if I told him that, not only to I like him; I adore him!

"I knew it was weird when you started helping me out with soccer, in gym."

Helping you with soccer? That's surprising to you? I'd fucking DIE for you! Surprised now? Yeah, Craig Tucker can feel shit too, you shocked? Yeah, well, I didn't know either. And guess what! YOU did this to me Kyle! You made me into this lovesick retard who is slowly destroying himself on the inside with every seconds he. Spends. With. YOU!

"Dude, you're my partner, it's my job." My voice was on the verge of breaking, but he seemed too angry to notice.

I wanted to explode. There were just too many words, sentences that I would like to say to him, but only a tiny percentage of those words were aloud to leave my mouth. I wondered how long it would take until there was no more room in there and I would end up throwing it all up right into Kyle's face.

"Even though that IS what you think of me..." The sound of the bell cut him off and he stood up, gathering his books. "I don't get why you would randomly tell someone."

Speechless, I watched him walk out. My eyes widened slightly and my mouth fell open. He was gone, so I allowed this meaningless display of feeling to linger.

So I was right; someone told him something. The most logical explanation would have been the Marsh kid, out of jealousy and protectiveness, but I couldn't just accuse him. Besides, he was the one who warned me about Kyle's mood...or was that just all part of his plot to get Kyle to hate me! Right, like Marsh was smart enough to come up with that.

I walked out of the class, a while after it had emptied and bumped into someone.

"Agh! Ngh- wow, you sere seriously zoned out back there." Tweek had stumbled back a few steps and was rubbing his forehead, a taunting grin on his lips.

"Tweek, you okay?"

"Yeah dude, are you? He must've said something pretty nasty, haven't seen you like this before."

"T-Tweek, wha... what are you talking about?"

"Oh Jesus, Craig you're stuttering! Are you feeling okay? You were just staring into nothing, like you had something to say but just weren't able to."

Shit, he was right, but how...

"Were you watching me?"

"Yeah, the whole time. Can't believe you didn't see me, I was right there."

It was happening. I was losing myself. I let my guard down for a second and someone saw me, I can only be thankful it was just Tweek.

"He hates me." I said, out of nowhere. My nasally voice was back, at least THAT was still there.

"What? Why?"

"I don't know, I-I, something happened, someone told him something and-"

"Holy shit." Tweek whispered, his eyes looking genuinely worried.

"What?"

"What's up with you dude? You're all... freaked out." He put his tiny hands on my shoulders. "Craig. Listen, just chill 'cause I think I can hear your heartbeat and that can't be healthy." He slid them down onto my chest. "Get your books, well actually you don't need any, so just head to arts and find out what the fuck is going on with him. Remember: You. Are. Craig. Tucker. You can handle this shit."

With one pat on the shoulder, Tweek was off to his next class and I was off to arts, or more likely, my doom.

I found him already at our seat, his head placed in his palm, listening to the teacher yell at some other kid for spilling the paint. I took this opportunity to sneak to my place without being noticed and asked to go get a late slip.

Her voice was loud, so I leaned in and whispered into my redhead's ear.

"Hey," I breathed, making him shiver as the cold air from my mouth came across the warmth of his skin. I hadn't expected that to happen, but it WAS all to my liking. "Once this bitch stops yelling, we need to talk."

'We need to talk.'; a sentence I thought I would never have to say to him. However, this was a completely different situation.

He kept his frown on but nodded. I just needed to clear this out with him. Get the name of the person who fed him all this bullshit, give him an explanation (if there was one) , make him love me again and then, finally, hunt down this 'person' and kick their ass.

Sadly, the teacher thought it necessary to give explanations for what seemed to be a fucking millennium in my book. From the small amount I actually listened to and actually contained from her ranting, for the new project, we needed to draw our partner's portrait, which was AMAZING since it gave me an excuse to stare at him.

Once she had shut up, she asked the kid she was yelling at to pass out some papers and fancy pencils (who's fanciness I was never able to understand).

"I'll try my best not to move." I said, setting my paper and million dollar pencil in front of me.

"I think you owe me an explanation first." He mumbled, staring down at his paper, on which he had began sketching out some shapes.

"Right well, you're gonna have to start by telling me the name of the guy who's been feeding you all this crap." I spat, or more like I wanted to, but my damn voice just made me sound bored.

"I'd rather keep that person's identity a secret for his or her own good." He said dryly.

Jesus Kyle, don't talk to me like that. Actually, say what you want, but never look at me like that, or at least change your tone. You might think I'm made of stone, but if you just came a little closer even a little bit TOO close if your sweet pride will let you, just give me 10 seconds of your precious time, and I could show you otherwise.

"Could you at least tell me what they claimed were my very own words?"

He picked up his pencil and began drumming it on the table. Well, whatever I had 'said' must be making him really angry or uncomfortable. I suddenly wanted to tell him 'it's okay' touching his shoulder and going 'you don't have to say it, I'm so sorry.' But in the end, I guess, I really DID wish he hadn't said it.

"I'm a nerd. I'm some kind of wimp or pussy, like Pip? Ring any bells Craig?"

His gaze was flying all over the room, expect towards me. If it hadn't been for the part about Pip, I would have told him it was all a bunch of lies. The question was, what the hell was I supposed to tell him now? My only choice would be to spill Ruby's secret. Well a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do. Especially if it involves revenge on a sneaky little bitch. That whore didn't think twice about calling him up and 'asking about the pages' and making me look like an asshole, so why should I even question humiliating her like there's no tomorrow. Fuck her. Nobody makes Kyle hate me, especially no 12 year old slut.

"Wow..." I said, a cocky smirk stretching open my lips. "This is gonna be tough, but try to bare with me, okay?" Too bad he wasn't looking up, he would have seen me smile, or showing my teeth, or whatever the fuck I look like when I try to be happy.

"Whatever, let's hear it." He hooded his eyes and pouted. He looked like he would snap at any time...you know, unless I lost control first and attacked those full lips, practically calling for me.

"Ruby, right?"

He nodded. Let the humiliation begin.

"She's 12, you realise that, I'm sure. Those hormones of hers are acting up like crazy." I began. "Not to mention she's a total whore already, so you can imagine how disgustingly horny she gets, but that's not the point." I felt like he was paying more and more attention to me as I spoke. "So seeing as you're this 16 year old guy with whom she gets to spend some private time, her crushing on you could not be avoided. That is, what we call, the 'Jonas Brother effect'."

He didn't appear angry anymore, but wore what I could only call an annoyed expression.

"What's your damn point? How does hating on your sister change in what you said about me?" I was losing him again. He was becoming impatient and was sketching furiously on his paper. Let's all just hope he doesn't damage that pencil, which I believe is used by the royal family.

"Dude, you're telling me you WANT a 12 year old girl getting hot for you?" He wrinkled his nose and stared at me like I'm some gross pervert. I can't blame him. No matter how rhetorical that question was, its distastefulness remained.

"That is why I told her all those thing- all those LIES, about you. I guess my plan kind of failed, but I really didn't mean all that shit."

I started off my explanation with pride and my usual macho way of talking about things, but I think that last sentence came out as a plea for forgiveness. Even though in the end, forgiveness WAS what I was aiming for, I didn't want it to be heard when I spoke. But once again, Kyle proved my assumptions wrong.

"Okay," He whispered. "Now, hold still so I can get this thing started."

The rest of the course, he was silent. Every time I tried to strike up a conversation, he either said something like 'hmm' or 'okay' or a stupid sigh.

By the end of the whole lesson, he had drawn an accurate shape of my face. All my paper had was a few scribbles and a giant oval in the middle of the page. Even THAT was wrong. In reality, Kyle's face was in the shape of a cute little circle, but no one ever noticed that because of his defined cheekbones.

The bell rang and the teacher let us out. She scorned at me when I handed in my paper, but I dismissed it with a flip of a very special finger. As I walked out, Tweek called me over.

"You're waiting again?"

"Yeah I faked a panic attack in class and left 10 minutes early. There's a limit of how much American history can be crammed into my already blonde and screwed up head."

"Dude, don't joke about shit like that. It's not cool. Your parents will try and stuff more meds into you and its not like you're not swallowing enough already."

"Whatever Dr. Fag, what happened with Jewboy?" He asked, dismissing my concern with a wave of his tiny hand. His loss.

"I told him the story, but he's still pissed. I don't get it, maybe he just needs some time to-"

"Did you apologize?" He cut in.

"Um no, why-"

"Craig! Why the hell not? No matter what your initial goal was, you still called him those names. If you had called him a whore or a retard, your explanation would have been enough. The fact is, you hit him hard in places that hurt the most."

"What? Why didn't you tell me this before!"

"He's obviously uncomfortable about his small build, especially when compared to his friends. I mean, Stan's a jock, Cartman's a fatass and Kenny...well he's just a fucking stud."

Tweek went starry-eyed for a second, but a gentle poke from my part brought him back to earth from McCormick land in a second.

"Plus, you know what he gets called by the fatass all the time!"

"Jew? Ginger? And um...Jersey?"

"Um, yes, AND nerd. Its just that when you had to think fast for insults, THOSE were the ones that came up and nothing else. I thought you would have grasped that much on your own."

Shit, blond bastard had a point. Plus, it's Kyle I'm dealing with. If it were Stan, the retard wouldn't be able to analyse or look deep into all of this. Kyle, on the other hand, was a fucking genius. Heck, the kid understood my actions before I even did. I had to get my paranoid best friend to explain to me. I wish I could tell him. Tell him everything that was going through my brain. Or at least have him fall into toxic waste and have the ability to read minds in consequence. That way, I could spare myself the embarrassment and hide away while he got into my head and saw all the words I could never say out loud. I'll say it again and I'll say it 10 times if I have to; I'm turning into them. As insecure as Cartman, as pathetic as Marsh, but I haven't reached the low of McCormick, but don't you worry...we're getting there.

At lunch, Tweek and I sat on the edge of a random table used by another, larger group. They wouldn't pay attention to us, unless they overheard one of us (usually Tweek) say something of their interest. The cafeteria was the one and only place in this school where all the cliques and groups were separated into their own tables, judging by their social status, sex, popularity, or just plain good looks. Thing is, Marsh's group had all of those. When they walked in, in a perfect horizontal placement, all that was missing was some badass background music and a fan to make their hair fly all over the place. Their group was, what I had once heard Butters telling Tweek, just plain sexy, if it weren't for Cartman's cheap excuse for a highlight job. As you can plainly see, Butters' words, not mine.

So, eventually, as expected, they walked in. And as much as everyone hated to admit, they all turned their heads towards them. They all walked in the same pace, nobody was a step behind or forward. And since we started high school, they always made their entrance in the exact same placement. From left to right: Bebe, texting on her phone, Wendy, arm in arm with her boyfriend Stan, followed by Cartman, wearing his cocky smile as always, then, the best of them all, obviously Kyle, holding up a book in front of his eyes, ignoring the whole room who was staring at him, and then finally McCormick, flashing his smile and flipping his hair around. It was the kind of scene you would see in a Gap summer catalogue, only I had the unfortunate chance to have to see it every freaking day.

"Ugh." I grunted, getting Tweek's attention away from the group of Barbies and Kens passing by (except for Kyle).

"What?"

"Do they REALLY have to make an entrance EVERY time? Don't they get bored?"

"I guess its their job seeing as they sort of are the most important people in the damn school. Of course, ALL of them just happen to be friends, so I guess they need even more attention. They can't help it. They ARE the symbols of our school."

I grunted again, only because I hated how right he was. Remember the 4 major points in being a celebrity in this damn school?

Well, first off, for the sex, Wendy and Bebe were hanging out with a bunch of guys all the time, so that made them 'cool' for some reason, just because they were girls. Second, when it came to popularity, we could say that was kind of a question of talent. Wendy was head of the debate club and student body vice president, Cartman was THE president, Stan was head quarterback, Kyle was number one in his grades in the whole school, not to mention his outstanding artwork and awards he has won for the school. Bebe was head cheerleader and Kenny (he's kind of cheating), was just a whore who flirted, charmed and slept with everybody. And guess what? This isn't even half of it! Want to get me even more worked up about this? Watch me.

On top of it all, as if their social status and popularity weren't enough, they were all fucking GORGEOUS. I have to be honest, as much as I hate it, but it was true. Even Cartman was okay. He had this light brown hair with blonde streaks, he had lost weight, and wore these button up shirts, making him look friendlier and sexier (Butters again).

So long story short, everyone envied, hated and adored them at the same time.

Once they had sat down, and once I had finished my lunchtime mental rape of Kyle Broflovski, I turned part of my attention back to Tweek, who was now speaking to Butters...wait no, ABOUT Butters.

"...Like, I wanna just-ngh SIT in his bathroom when he's taking a shower so I can figure out what he does to his hair to make it so SHINY! I mean, it's sooooo SHINY!"

"Go for it." I said, between two bites of food. Actually, what I really wanted to say was: 'Yeah Tweek, that's not creepy at all. And MAYBE, if you stopped pulling, tugging and ripping out your own hair, it would be as SHINY as Butters'.' But I had no interest in insulting yet ANOTHER person I actually liked.

For the rest of our free time, Tweek ranted about God knows what and then began nagging at me for being so chill about this Kyle incident. Little did he know I was having 47 heart attacks every time his name came up. But neither did he know that I had a plan. A good one this time. Based on what I knew about Kyle's personality, my idea would surely work...of course, while it also sent a few benefits my way...

For yet another time, Kyle has made me feel something I wouldn't usually feel: anticipation. I was so restless during the free half hour we had, waiting for gym class to begin, that Tweek socked me in the stomach at one point.

"Calm the fuck down." He had said. "Stop pacing, sit down and tell me what the fuck you're planning on doing."

I went over his wish in my head. I didn't like the first part at all, you know, about 'calming down'. The pacing was helping me burn off some anxiety and stress, but I could see how it would be annoying for Tweek to sit there and watch me do it. The last part, I really began to consider as a good way to get my mind of off it, without actually doing so. So I stopped, sat down in front of him Indian style and let him in on the plan. With every little twist and clever aspect of my idea, Tweek either gasped, smiled deviously or snickered like a pervert.

Five minutes before the bell, I ran into the changing rooms to get into my basketball shorts and tight black wife beater. I wasn't even sure how I had that thing. I don't recall buying it or wearing it on its own or under anything. I only used it for gym, leaving it worn out and forever smelling of sweat.

The sound of the whistle was heard from the gym and everyone filed out in front of the coach who, with his loud booming voice, told us the new elements we needed to cover for the new semester which had begun (hence the new art project and several last minute end of term exams). I had already checked the schedule, unlike anybody else in my gym class, and knew exactly what was coming up. The moans and grunts from all the smaller members of the class were heard in a symphony the second the coach had pronounced that word.

"Football."

Now, you might not get it yet, but this element plays an important role in my plan. And if you perverts out there are thinking its because I get to tackle Kyle and be uncomfortably close to him for the next several weeks then...yeah, you're partially correct, but that wasn't the point. The point is, that I was able to use my ingenious ways of thinking to figure out a way to make a romantic scene (even though nobody will even notice) out of the sport called football, dreaded by every small guy that had to do gym class.

We started off by a quick jog as usual, during which Kyle was silent. Then, we were told to toss around the pigskin for another 20 minutes until finally, the instructions I was waiting for so badly came up.

"I know most of you know how to, so practice your attacking, tackling and defence stances together! If there are some who don't know, it is up to their partners to show them!"

Ah, the look of dismay on Kylie's face...oh, so, VERY funny.

"I-is he s-serious?" He gulped.

"Dead serious dude." I said, the smile in my voice was clear, even though there wasn't an actual one on my face.

"Um, fine then. Let's go." He said half-heartedly. Pffft, what am I even saying? Not even half of him wanted to do this! Kyle was facing the biggest challenge of his life, all to my amusement.

Once we were in a more spacious corner away from the other groups, Kyle looked at me awkwardly with a whole lot of puppy dog plea in his eyes. I almost lost my composure, but I didn't let it happen. I had to get through with this.

"How is this done exactly?" He asked, and guess what? I had NO clue.

"Well, um, we sort have to charge at each other and push at each other's shoulders until someone falls or is pushed past um... yeah, these black lines." I lied and pointed at random lines.

He nodded and took a few steps back, shaking with all his might. "Go easy dude." I heard him mutter, but I didn't answer. Why? Because that is the last thing I'd be doing.

I counted to three and once I said 'go' my plan had begun. We both ran at each other, arms reaching out, but despite his lean muscle mass, Kyle didn't stand a chance against me. He ended up on the floor on his back, my hands were still clutching his shoulders, keeping him down under me, as my I brought my legs to cradle his thighs. His shock stricken face was priceless. His dark orange brows were in a frown, just like they've always been in the last few days. His lips were in that angry pout shape, that in my book, was still way too cute to be considered a sign of anger. His hair had fallen around his head and over his forehead and last but not least, his eyes were widened. The contrast created by the emerald green, the fiery red and the snow white of his eyes made a shiver run through my spine.

And now, even though Kyle was lying helpless underneath me, I couldn't help but feel like I was the one in trouble, like I was the prey, because I had been captured and could not look away. I fought to reduce the sweat forming on every inch of my body, the heat rising from my chest to my face and once again, the tightening in my shorts because THAT of all things, he would surely notice.

"C-Craig? Can u please get off?"

Instead of obeying him, I tightened my grip on him. As a part of my body lost control, another part still wanted to get on with the plan and I think that's what would be best.

"No." I said. "Kyle, I'm sorry for what I said about you to my stupid sister. I seriously didn't mean it I swear."

"Yeah well, you still said it."

"That's true. And I can totally understand as of why you got so angry about it, but let me tell you something. I don't know you well enough, but I can tell right away that you are not a nerd. I bet you don't even study for exams OR those competitions you seem to always win. People who are NATURALLY smart, are NOT nerds."

He looked up at me, only this time looking very confused. His still wide eyes were blinking rapidly at me, but I decided to continue anyway.

"And as much as I'm sorry to say it, you're not the strongest of guys Kyle, but that doesn't make you a wimp. So once again, I'm sorry and I hope you will forgive me."

His intense expression dialled down slowly and I got that reasonable, logical face I loved so much that he wore SO well. It suited him. In fact, he could have CREATED the damn look.

"Look Craig," He began. "I get you're sorry but-"

"Huh. That's to bad." I smiled and I was sure his green orbs would have popped out of their sockets if we were in a cartoon. "Now I can't let you go until you forgive me. And for a minute I actually believed you were smart. You're really deceiving people Kyle." I teased him with all my might, getting his face ruby red with frustration.

"What? Screw you asshole!"

"Fine, fine." I said calmly. "Then answer this question and you can go."

"What?"

"What's you favourite food?"

"What!"

"What do you like to eat." I said slowly, like he was some kind of idiot. "Just answer."

"Uh...um? Seafood?"

I stepped off of him with a smiling and we never practiced the stances again.

Linguini Tutto Mare, despite what people think, is not a complicated dish. All you need is the linguini, a bag of frozen assorted seafood, and some sauce. I picked all those things up from the store before I went home to find Ruby and Kyle already busy at work. The dirty look she shot me would have killed a heard of cows, but I was immune.

"What's for dinner?" She growled.

"You'll see!" Tweek giggled, skipping not far behind my with one of the grocery bags at hand. Moments later he came back out of the kitchen, phone in hand, ordering Kyle to call his mother and tell her that he'll be staying over for dinner. With Tweek, you really couldn't 'politely decline' because he would guilt trip you about it until the day you die.

Eventually, we all sat down at the table together in silence as I set the plates of food in front of everyone. I put down Kyle's last so I could have to time to sit down and see his reaction. At first, he didn't seem to react, but then, being the smart little Jewboy he is, everything feel into in his head. His eyes lit up, and an embarrassed smile spread across his face.

"Dude, seriously?"

"Eat it!" Tweek insisted.

Kyle took a bite and smiled. "It's good." He said once he had swallowed (this sentence sounds like one of Tweek's perverted ones).

"Good, so...am I forgiven?" I asked and did my best to grin at him. It must have been a success since he looked up at me from his plate, strands of spaghetti dangling from his mouth and seemed to be taken aback.

"Yeah, bribe me with food." He joked, but I had a feeling I was forgiven for sure. I mean, how romantic am I? But probably to him it's 'Craig Tucker being nice for some reason'.

Once he had left, Ruby had disappeared again (thank God) and Tweek and I took the alone time to do a recap on what happened. Personally I hated to this, but some magazine told Tweek it was good.

"How romantic are you!" He squealed.

"Yes, yes, I know, I am amazing."

It was great, that Kyle was beginning to see what a normal person I could be. Maybe with this leap, we could get closer, hang out more often, I don't know man. It's overwhelming because I've never found myself in situations like this so I had no idea what to do. Even IF, in some parallel universe, we were dating, I can't even picture it! I'm starting to understand what Tweek means when he says something is too much pressure.

"Oh my God Craig! He is SO into you!"

Say WHAT now?


	3. Coffee Cheesecake

**Coffee Cheesecake**

Chapter 2

By, the Unlucky-Charm

"Tweek, don't be stupid." I had told him. "He JUST forgave me, we're barely even friends now."

"Mmhmm." Tweek rolled his eyes and smiled. He had something on his mind, but of course, had decided to torture me by not letting me in on it.

"What now?" I asked him impatiently.

"Nothing, but he IS totally into you."

"How the hell can you even tell? Tweek, as much as you want it to be, this isn't a fairy tale. Kyle's not going to magically like me."

Tweek gently clapped his hands together in front of him. "Listen to me closely." He began, looking at me straight in the eyes, without even blinking. "I saw it, okay? He had that 'in love' look on his face."

"There no such thing as the 'in love' look Tweek! It's all in your head. What would that even look like?" I was seriously about to lose my mind. I wanted to be believe him, I really did and REALLY hoped he would end up being right, but I knew better than getting my hopes up like that, so for now, it was best for me to deny it.

"I can't explain it, it's just-" He paused and scrunched his face up a little, as if he was suddenly plunged into some very deep thoughts. Once he had snapped out of it, he opened his mouth to speak. "You know the expression I make when I talk about Christophe's eyebrows?" Wow Tweek, some deep thoughts...

"Yeah...utter joy and admiration...sometimes orgasmic even..." If you're wondering 'what the fuck?' I don't blame you. Let's just keep it short and say that Tweek has a thing for Christophe's eyebrows.

"Yeah, that's kind of how he was looking at you, only with dreamier eyes and less envy."

I nodded, because I could see no point in arguing and going into such a conversation about if Kyle loved me or not and the Mole's eyebrows.

Tweek went home afterwards, and despite what he had said, I still slept with a smile on my face. My day was a success, no matter how you looked at it.

When I woke up on Friday morning, it felt wrong. It felt like it should have been the weekend, I even thought so for a second before remembering what day it was yesterday. All I knew, was that I needed a day off to bask in my glory and happiness and school wasn't the place to do it. Despite my beliefs, I decided I shouldn't miss any classes, sucked it up, and went to school ( my mom made me).

I walked to school with a small smirk on my face, which I quickly removed when I entered school grounds. I couldn't risk anyone seeing me like that. Even before I went in, my head was subtly snapping around, searching for Kyle. I wasn't even sure why I was bothering doing that. Even if I did see him, it's not like I could walk up and talk to him. The most a person in my situation could do was smile or wink at him and I would never forgive myself if I did that. I can't even say hi, how am I supposed to wink! In fact, I'm not even sure I can...

Like some idiot, in the middle of the hallways, I tried it and turns out, I sort of can, but only with my right eye. God, I'm lame.

Once at my locker, I lazily stuffed my bag into it and took out my English books. I also took off my jacket because it seemed that the school's heating system had decided to work today. From a few feet away, I could hear Clyde and the Marsh kid rambling on about the football game they had this afternoon. The two were on the Cows football team of course, and therefore could miss half a day of school because of a game. There have been a lot of complaints from parents about that but when it came to the Cows, it was the only thing this town had to be proud of (not counting Kyle), so the parents had no say in it. Especially the Marshes, their son being the star quarterback, weren't even given the chance to protest.

"Dude, it's gonna be huge!" Stan said.

"Yeah man, Kyle better be filming when you make that final touchdown!"Clyde said and got Stan into a headlock.

After hearing Kyle's name, I began listening in more intently. So, Kyle was going to be at the game...interesting.

"Clyde, it's not even a hundred percent sure I'm going to be able to do it."

"That's true, but the coach and your dad will kill you if you don't."

They both roared in laughter as if it was the funniest thing in the world and walked away only seconds before the bell rang.

I got to my class on time and sat at my regular place and immediately began to daydream. I looked around at everyone in my class and I hadn't even realised that Garrison had already come in and had began explaining last night's Grey's Anatomy. I blocked him out.

A few years ago, I had come to a conclusion, that Garrison was the exact opposite of a teacher. What are teachers anyway? They're people who's job is to teach kids and make them learn stuff, give them knowledge one could say. And Garrison did the exact contrary. It seemed to me that the more someone listened to him, the stupider that person got. So, for my own well being, I stopped paying attention to him, even if I saw him outside of school, just to be safe.

The time passed as the analysis of the new episode came to a conclusion and was replaced by rambling about some celebrities outfit and some shitty award show nobody watched. Even though his voice was but a distant echo reaching me from miles away, I still noticed when he was cut off by something, God knows what. And before I knew it, he was calling someone's name...my name? Was he talking to me? I might wanna answer then...

"Craig Tucker, pay attention!" He yelled.

"What?"

"The principal wants to see you in her office."

"Why?" Why was I even asking. Escape you retard!

"I don't know! Just go!"

I got up and walked slowly to the office, which was all the way down the hall to my left. What the hell did they want? I knew for a fact that I hadn't done anything wrong. I hadn't even flipped anyone off...well, maybe I had, but nobody even cared anymore!

I walked up to the door and saw some kid sitting by it on a chair. My chair. When I was a kid, I spent 50 percent of my time at school sitting there, waiting for them to stop yelling at Cartman so they could then yell at me. By the time they were even thru with Cartman, they had forgotten I was there and what I had done that got me sent there. I smirked at the memory and knocked at the door.

"Come in." I heard principal Victoria call.

I stepped in, only to see my mom standing there in front of the desk, fiddling with her fingers. Her eyes were filled with water, but she wasn't crying. She still had her coat on and held her bag over her shoulder. I frowned at them both and opened my mouth to ask questions, but my mother shook her head.

"C-Craig, we need to get you to the hospital." She croaked.

"Why? I'm fine."

"N-not for you honey..."

"What? For who? Is it dad?"

"N-no dear..." She sniffed. "It's Tweek."

After that, everything went by so fast, but I do remember it clearly.

I wasn't the type to receive news and then react to it. I didn't need to sit down for a moment, I didn't need to think or to take it all in. There was nothing to take in, it was all there. I grabbed my mother by the hand without thinking and ran outside. I don't even know how she managed to keep up with those heels, but she did. I could hear her protesting behind me, but even then she didn't resist being dragged to the car by me. In the car, I yelled at her to hurry up. Her shaking hands struggling to even grasp the steering wheel, she didn't even comment on my tone of voice. We drove to Hell's Pass, which wasn't that far away but it felt like an eternity until we got there. My mom hadn't even stopped the car when I opened the door and ran out, not even bothering to wait for her. I ran inside, pushed through some people, sick or healthy, I didn't even care. I needed to see Tweek. I didn't know what happened to him exactly, but if he had a sprained ankle, I doubt my mom would have bothered picking me up from school.

"Where's Tweek!" I yelled at the secretary/nurse at the reception.

"Name?"

"I just told you, it's Tweek!"

"Full name please."

I was going to punch her.

"How many fucking Tweeks are there! Tweek Tweak!"

"Room 207."

I ran to the elevator to get to the second floor where his room was. The damn thing took it's precious fucking time so I ended up running up the stairs. It was just one floor after all. I slammed the door open and found myself in a deserted, eerily white hallway. In between rooms 205 and 207, stood a middle aged man, clad in white and going through some paper on a clipboard.

"Doctor!" I yelled, hoping he was Tweek's.

He snapped his head up and stared at me. "Yes?"

"What happened to Tweek? Can I see him?" I gasped, breathlessly.

"He overdosed." He said. "Pretty badly too, but he should be fine."

"What? Overdosed on what?" I said, a tad too loud, because the guy shushed me halfway through my question.

H began talking about pills and fancy names and milligrams and grams and his body weight and things I couldn't really understand, but there was ONE word that DID pop out in all the gibberish.

"Wait, wait, Doctor. I don't understand a WORD you are saying, but did you say...caffeine?" I told him.

"Yes, he overdosed on caffeine."

In the beginning I was panicked as hell, then I was worried, then I was shocked but now... now I think I might KILL Tweek. Caffeine! The blonde IDIOT overdosed on caffeine!

"That's it, no more coffee." I growled to myself.

"Oh no young man, it wasn't the coffee's fault." He said and caught my attention. "Let me put this into simpler words. Your friend takes pills for his anxiety and other problems correct?" I nodded. "On top of the coffee, he must have mixed up the amounts and took too much of one kind of pill, containing caffeine. That's how he overdosed. Plus, there was this other pill that he wasn't even supposed to be taking!"

'Jesus Christ Tweek...' I thought.

"Doctor, did you meet his parents?" I asked, because I knew the root of the problem would turn out to be them. It always was when something bad happened to Tweek.

"Um...yes, why?"

"They're idiots. Those pills he wasn't supposed to be taking? They probably gave them to him." I explained, going back to sounding bored and stoic, now that I knew Tweek was going to be all right.

"I see...Well, you can see him now, but he's asleep. We pumped his stomach, but we are monitoring him. Try not to wake him up." He said and walked away.

I mumbled a thank you and burst into Tweek's room once he was out of sight. I slowly walked in and shut the door gently behind me. My best friend was laying there, asleep, no tubes, nothing attached to him. He had one of those white hospital shirts on and his hair was exactly the same as it always was: a mess. I pulled up the chair in the corner of the room and sat right by his bed. In all these years that I have known. I had never seen him sleep so deeply and so peacefully in my life. I have barely seen him sleep at all! They had probably given him some kind of drug...right, because he wasn't taking enough already. The second he's back on his feet, I'm banning all pills that aren't Tylenol from entering his body. I don't care how bad his anxiety or paranoia is, I'll help him through it if he needs me. Plus, he'll have his coffee, because there is no way I can ban that. He would downright laugh in my face and tell me something like "in your sweet Kyle obsessed dreams, Tucker!" with his little blonde head bobbing left and right.

For three hours, I lost track of time and my thoughts and ended up sitting there staring at Tweek. Once it was noon, I went downstairs to the reception and asked for directions to the cafeteria. The woman I had seen in the morning wasn't there and was replaced by a younger woman.

"Are you Craig Tucker?" She asked randomly.

"Yes..."

"Your mother left you a note saying that she had to go back to work and to call her when you want to leave." She said.

"I'm not leaving." I said and walked down to the cafeteria.

I bought a sandwich, ate it at a table alone while other doctors sat around me talking about God knows what, medical crap. Around 1 o'clock, I went back up to Tweek's room.

"Well someone decided to take their damn sweet time!" The pissed off sounding blonde in the bed told me.

"Tweek!" I said and ran towards the bed. "How are you feeling?"

"Kind of stupid, but fine." He answered, putting down the Vogue magazine he was going through.

"Good, as long as you're okay."

He totally ignored my niceness and looked up at the clock in his room. "The big game is starting now, I wonder if Stan will make that touchdown they were planning."

"Does everyone know this except for me?"

"Yeah, 'cause you never listen to people other than me or Kyle."

"That's true."

Tweek and I spent the rest of the afternoon talking and laughing. Well, he laughed, I smirked. We spoke about school and made fun of some teachers and then Tweek had the bright idea of pairing up the guys in our classes together if everyone was gay.

"Gregory and Christophe." I said.

"For sure! And how about Clyde and Token?"

When he mentioned Clyde, I remembered the conversation he was having with Stan this morning. They would be pretty compatible. "I'm thinking Clyde with Stan." I said.

"Nah dude, they're both dumb. They need someone smart, it's cuter that way." He said, waving his hand around like some gossiping middle aged woman.

"Okay, okay fine. Token and Clyde. So how about Marsh?"

Tweek blushed a little and grinned deviously. He pulled up the blanket up to his nose, showing only his eyes, in which a certain evil glint had appeared. A few wild giggles escaped his lips and from those small laughs was formed a certain name.

"Kyle?" He said and burst into laughter at my reaction. He knew he was being an ass and was enjoying it too. I grabbed his shoulders and pinned him down on the bed.

"Take that back." I growled.

When the only answered I received were more laughs, I began tickling him like crazy. I knew all his week spots so it wasn't hard.

"Take it back." I ordered again, as he squirmed on the bed, laughing uncontrollably.

"Okay! Okay!" He cried. "I take it back!"

I immediately removed myself from him and backed away as he gasped for air, releasing a few final chuckles from his throat.

"That wasn't necessary." He said.

"Yes, yes it was. Kyle is mine, don't even joke about it." I said and pointed at him as a warning.

He rolled his eyes like some kind of spoiled teenage bitch and sighed. "Fine. Kyle is yours forever and ever. You will be his first, get married, and buy tons of guinea pigs."

"That's right."

We spent the rest of the time talking about Kyle and what our (my) next step should be. It was complicated, seeing as I barely spend time with him or talk to him. According to Tweek, that was the main problem to fix.

"You need to put aside your damn reputation and make a move Craig!" He said, throwing his arms up into the airs dramatically. "You can't just expect everything to fall into place perfectly every time. Yeah sure, you got lucky, A LOT, in the past 2 weeks, but you need to start moving. You can't keep waiting for Thursdays anymore."

That last sentence scared me a little. Kyle and Thursday always went hand in hand. I wondered if it was even possible to talk to him on any other day. Wouldn't it be a little weird? Like eating a full turkey on a regular day. Turkeys were for Thanksgiving, just like Kyle was for Thursdays.

"I don't know about that." I told Tweek.

"Ugh, Craig. We're not gonna get anywhere with this attitude of yours! If you want something to happen, you can't wait for faith to-"

There was a knock at the door and we both shut up and turned to it. The person knocked again. Neither of us answered.

"Hello?" Said the velvety voice from the other side and sent shivers down my spine.

"Is that...?" Tweek said, his voice practically squeaking.

"It is..."

"Should I leave you two alone?" He whispered.

"How the fuck are you gonna do that?" I whispered back.

"Fake a heart attack?" I smacked the back of his head and went to open the door. As expected, there he stood.

"H-hey Kyle..." I said.

"Hey guys." He said. "Can I come in?"

I opened the door wider and with a wave of my hand and no words whatsoever from my lips, I invited him in.

"How are you doing Tweek? Everyone was so worried back at school...you know, especially when Cartman started a rumour that you died." He said, and blushed.

"Aw well, that's nice of them...not Cartman, but you know, everyone else."

We all stood silently, the only noise being the one 'click' coming from the door I just shut. That same silence stretched on for a while, where I lost myself in the polite smile that Kyle wore. As concentrated as I was on Kyle, I still heard Tweek clear his throat a million times, I guessed meaning that I should stop staring, but when I didn't, he stopped.

"So, did we win?" Tweek asked Kyle.

'Damn it!' I thought. I should have seriously asked that! Tweek probably didn't say anything waiting for me to do so, but of course, I failed miserably as you can see.

"Yeah we did actually, in fact..." He pulled out his iPhone from his pocket and made his way to Tweek's side. "Stan sent you a present."

He clearly said that this 'present' was for Tweek, but what was amazing was that it was my redhead's face that lit up. He seemed so excited, practically skipping his way towards Tweek. He bent down to my friend's level, his jeans tightening around his perfect little ass. I began to breathe from my nose, slowly but roughly, in order to keep myself from hugging him from the behind.

He began pressing the buttons and without taking his eyes off the screen and waved me over. "Craig, come look too."

He said my name... I asserted myself with one last breath and joined them.

I made my way to the right side of Tweek's bed, opposite to where Kyle was standing, assuming that Tweek would be holding the phone.

"Here it is." He said and handed Tweek the phone. All three of us leaned in and watched the video play on the screen. The quality was pretty good and 5 seconds into the video, I figured out what it was.

The video started with a bunch of guys, positioning themselves to start a football play. The team hiking the ball were the Cows. Immediately, I spotted Stan. The ball was hiked and thrown to him, he began running at an extremely alarming speed, fooling and avoiding the players from the other team who tried to stop him or bring him down. Even I, who barely ever played sports, knew that that was a beautiful touchdown.

"Oh wow." Tweek said once the video had ended. "He did it! That was the winning touchdown everyone was waiting for! That's great!" He exclaimed.

"Yeah. Everyone was sort of freaked out after we heard the news about you and right before the final play, when everyone was huddled, Stan came up to me and told me to film it and take it to you as a present. So...this, here," He said, waving his hand around the screen, "is for you, from Stan."

"Aw, so the touchdown was for me? That's sweet." Tweek said and tilted his head to the side. "Stan's such a teddy bear." He giggled.

You know something? Until now, every time Tweek had said lines like that out loud, in front of people other than me, I always thought it was totally lame and embarrassing, but now, I'm starting to get it. It's shit like that that make him likeable! Sure, the things he says are totally gay, but they're nice, which gives him an advantage I don't have or will ever want in the first place. Sure, I can be nice (something I wish Kyle would realise without questioning the existence of the universe), but I could never say things like 'Stan is a teddy bear' or 'What a cutie!', the last one being something I've heard Butters say a lot. I knew my limits, and they didn't go further than 'I like your shirt.'

"Dude! Tweek, Stan was totally bragging about that the other day!" He laughed.

Oh God, his teeth were perfect! And oh GOD, it was amazing how he ran his tongue over them. I bet they were smooth, each and every one of them. Sometimes, I really did feel like he was teasing me on purpose. That bitch...he's like the only challenge I have ever had in my life and there he was, unknowingly enticing me, all the way to my complete annihilation. God Kyle, clueless, sexy, Kyle.

"He was ranting about you calling him a teddy bear! He claims it'll attract girls." He rolled his eyes and if I were in his place, I'd do the same. Sure Marsh, looking like a teddy bear will totally get you laid. "When DID you tell him anyway?"

"Oh, well, when I had this panic attack and Craig hadn't gotten to school yet, he like..." Tweek paused, and I could tell he wanted to make the explanation sound the least bit romantic or mushy. My guess was he was trying to avoid the words 'held me'. "Helped me out, got close...made me feel comfortable."

"I see." Of course he did. He knew his best friend better than anyone. He understood what had gone down, he even knew it before Tweek's explanation.

There was silence again, but this time they both stared at me because I was the only one who hadn't said anything. In a way, they were telling me it was my turn to talk, but I had nothing to say. They were being polite, because that's the right thing to do. When you're at a reunion, the worse thing you can do is make someone feel left out by talking about things they're not in on. Did they think that's what they were doing? I hope not. Do they not know how much I enjoy watching them converse? My two favourite people in the world, getting along; it's a relief and in another way, a fear. Of course, I want them to like each other, but I still want them to like me best. Selfish is the one thing I'm not. Caring, is something I don't do. I'm not selfish, because I just don't care. When it comes to these two people, these two human beings that I actually bother cherishing, I DO care, which I guess can lead to me being a little selfish. It didn't matter, as long as nobody found out.

And...they're still looking. Jeez, I can totally feel Tweek right now when it comes to the pressure. It's like one side of my brain is searching to find something interesting to say while the other part is just wasting energy thinking of completely useless things, such as the analysis I just did and still am doing RIGHT NOW! I was watching myself screw up, I was aware of it, there was just nothing I could do. So, in the end, Tweek saved me again. No, saved isn't the right word, more like fixed and flattered and a lot of other good things! I think I'm starting to owe that kid more than I could ever repay.

"But you know," he started, "it was cool how he just knew what to do! I was surprised."

"What do you mean?" Kyle asked. The attention was back on Tweek, thank God.

"Well, there's not many people who can get me to calm down so quickly. Let's just say, Stan isn't my usual teddy bear." Tweek said and blushed. The more he spoke of this subject, the more he was starting to sound gay. Not that he wasn't, but it just emphasized it more and made it seem like a stereotype.

"Who IS your usual?" Kyle asked and smiled.

His voice was deeper than Tweek's, much deeper actually. It didn't make him sound freakishly manly though. It was perfect, just like the rest of him.

"Craig's my usual!" Tweek exclaimed, throwing his arms up in the airs. Kyle turned to me and chuckled, covering his mouth with his hand.

I smirked, my lip curling to the side, into what I wasn't even sure could be called a smile.

"Yep." I said and looked away. My eyes were unable to meet his, because then I was sure that I wouldn't be able to speak, move or even look away.

"He's softer than he looks!" Tweek said and winked. Let me tell you, his wink was much better than mine.

At this point they were both watching me, as if I was about to do a back flip or something. Kyle's eyes were roaming all over me, from head to toe, staring me down.

"Is he really?" Kyle teased, but then blushed, reminding me that, no matter how tough he acted, I was still the stronger one. He couldn't win against me...at least not knowingly, because if we count all the rest, the kid has beat me a long time ago. It was cute, how he was embarrassed of his own snappy answer.

"Yeah...why don't you try him out hm?" Tweek fucking purred out the damn words! I was going to KILL this kid!

"I-I don't think he'd like that very much." Kyle uneasily laughed, turned to Tweek again.

"Craig?" Tweek called in that very special, insisting tone of slight impatience.

Now their eyes were back on me and so was the spotlight; I had to do something, Tweek's death glare wasn't giving me much of a choice either. Without further a due, to avoid awkwardness, I made my move, all without giving away my composure.

Eyes hooded, lips unmoved, I spread my arms just a bit wider by my sides and shrugged. Yeah, try me out, I don't care...at least I'll pretend not to.

And boy, do I NOT regret doing that! I haven't seen that kid blush like that before! The soft skin of his cheeks gradually went into a crimson shade. His gorgeous teeth pulled his bottom lip seductively in between them, biting down just slightly, but enough to make me want to lose my mind. Was he hesitant? Maybe so, but I WAS giving him permission. Perhaps it wasn't only hesitation but something more along the lines of shock. It wasn't his fault; today was a revolutionary day: Craig Tucker offered someone a hug...and they accepted.

I swear I was on the verge of tears. The second his chest touched mind, the whole world could have ended, I wouldn't have noticed. His skin, his feel, it was all so new. It wasn't the same as holding Tweek. He smelled like lavender, which was way lighter than coffee. For once, the person I had in my arms was the one calming ME down. His body, his aura, everything about it was just in place, very stable. There was nothing romantic about it, but I wanted nothing more than to run my fingers through his hair or even kiss him when I felt his chest move against mine. He was laughing.

"Yeah Tweek, you're right, he really is soft." He pulled away and suddenly, everything just came back into place. I hoped my expression didn't give away too much, but at this point and time, I couldn't have cared less. I was actually hoping he DID notice, so that way maybe he could just go back to hugging me again. "Who would have thought...Craig Tucker..."

Craig Tucker...the words left his mouth like some kind of melody. The kind of song that's too good to be played on the radio. That one line from your favourite movie that automatically reduces you to tears. All of it, just put together into my name; my ugly ass name with no meaning, metamorphosed into some kind of sonnet that I wanted to hear, over and over again, as long as it was Kyle singing it.

Eventually, the doctor came in and asked us to leave. My hands in my pockets, I strolled down the white hallway, worriless now that I knew Tweek was okay. I needed to get home and rest, I had a long day and I needed some serious daydreaming time. I was about to press the elevator button when he spoke and startled the crap out of me.

"We should really do something for him. I feel bad." He said from behind me.

Had he been walking with me all this time? Lost for words, I spun around, my eyes only slightly wider than usual.

"Uh, um, I guess...? Yeah, sure."

He laughed. "Sorry about that."

I didn't answer him. I was too busy trying to get rid of the smile on my face. It formed all on its own, I swear and at the moment, it was putting up a very good fight.

We went into the elevator together, all our movements, steps; they were all in sync for some reason. We stood perfectly parallel to each other in the small cubicle, our hands in our respective pockets and in silence, staring at the silver doors.

Once they opened, we were met with a breathless, black haired teenager. He was covered in sweat and his skin was reddened all over. If Kyle hadn't yelled out his name, I swear I wouldn't even have noticed him. It's not a matter of recognizing him or not, I mean, Stan was Stan. It's just that I don't pay much attention to anything else when Kyle is around, so if a pink elephant were to pass by in front of me, good luck trying to convince me it happened.

"Stan! What are you doing here?"

"Is..." he took a deep breath through his nose, "is he okay?" He breathed out.

"Yeah, but he has to rest, you're too late dude."

"Damn." He cursed and pressed his palm against his chest. "I sort of ran here, but I guess it was for nothing."

"Idiot. You just had a game, why did you run!" Kyle frowned at him.

"Did you show him the touchdown?" He asked, totally ignoring Kyle's reproach.

"Yeah, yeah, he was real thrilled about it actually. He called you a teddy bear again."

He was leading the way towards the front entrance of the building, me and Marsh following closely behind. Even though he had his back turned to me, I could just imagine what his expression was; probably rolling his eyes teasingly and shaking his head.

"Yeah, Tweek calls me that a lot." Stan grinned, a little embarrassed, and scratched the back of his head. "Oh Craig, hi, by the way." He added, turning to me.

"Hey." I replied.

"We were just talking about something we could do for him." Kyle went back to the original subject, making it quite clear that something were to be done for my twitchy blonde friend. These people weren't even close with him, why were they so eager?

Once we were outside, we began walking towards Kyle's car, which I guess I was going to take a ride in since nobody was telling me otherwise. At this point, I was starting to believe that the two forgot I was even there.

"Well, what's Tweek's favourite dessert or food or whatever?" Stan asked, sounding like a complete retard. Sometimes, I really did wonder if he was doing it on purpose.

Exactly a feet away from his car, Kyle came to a halt. I noticed him straightening his shoulders and slowly turning his head towards his best friend, sending him a very warning look. If I were in Stan's position at the time, I would have been damn careful with what I was going to say next.

"Why do you ask Stan?" He asked through clenched teeth, the same look still piercing through the air, over his shoulder. I felt bad for Kyle, because I knew he didn't want his best friend saying what he clearly had in mind, but sad part is, I don't think Stan was really getting the signal at all.

"Well dude, didn't you say Craig made like AMAZING food?" He asked, in a tone that said 'duh Kyle don't you remember?' and flung his arms to his sides as he emphasized on the word 'amazing'. Yeah, that's right, you heard him here folks. Straight from the witness's mouth. Kyle Broflovski thought my food was AMAZING. I was sooooo grinning on the inside.

Okay, so I really did enjoy watching Kyle lose that battle, even though he didn't have much of a chance against Stan's idiocy in the first place, but I really thought I owed him something for actually saying such nice things about me behind my back. Like some kind of nice form of gossip. Major point is that he actually spoke about me to his friend, which is already a huge step all in itself. I couldn't wait to tell Tweek.

"Thanks dude." I said to him, in all seriousness. I wasn't teasing, joking or making fun of him in any way. I was sincere...at least that's what I was going for.

"Ugh." I heard the grunt come from Kyle. His back was still turned to us but I could clearly tell that he had hung his head and was pinching his nose bridge, something Stan use to do before he lost all his brains and had no valid reason to do it anymore.

In the car, everyone had stopped talking, even Stan. He was sitting shotgun since I thought it was only fair he did after having run all the way to Hell's Pass. Halfway through the drive, for the first time, even though it was very belated, I spoke first.

"Coffee Cheesecake." I said.

"What?" I got their attention.

"Tweek loves coffee cheesecake." I repeated myself.

"Do you have the ingredients?" Kyle asked me.

"Um yeah...why?"

With no answer, he made an abrupt turn, sending me flying to the right in the backseat, as he changed directions completely. Stan howled in laughter and held on tight.

"Yey we're going to Craig's!" He cheered and drummed on the dashboard.

As lost as I was, caught up in a series of events that I thought would never in hell happen to me, I happen to look at the rear view mirror, only to see a pair of green eyes already watching me with a hint of a small smile. He sent me a small but reassuring nod, which I answered with a quick wink. Not even sure if he saw it or if it was appropriate at the time, I looked away, afraid of the answer. I waited exactly 20 seconds to dare look up again. He was concentrating on the road, with a heavy blush settled on his cheeks. Satisfied with myself, I leaned in further into my seat. At least I had done ONE thing right.

Friday nights, are usually party night, not for me anyways, but I did know that a lot of people went out to clubs or house parties on Friday evenings. It was like some kind of universal celebration day; a ritual to start off the weekend. I usually stayed home with Tweek, unless he dragged me to one of them, but today was different. Today, my friends, I spent my Friday night in my kitchen with two other dudes making coffee cheesecake.

In fact, they didn't even do all that much. First off, Stan insisted that we all wear aprons, God knows why, but he did. So, to keep him from whining, we did. The only reason why because I didn't COMPLETELY disagree with this idea was the hope that Kyle would look cute in the apron. I was wrong; he was fucking sexy.

Secondly, the only work they did was dump the ingredients into the bowl, like children 'helping' their mother bake a cake. I took the measurements, and they just argued about who's turn it was to pour it into the container.

Finally, when we were done and had cleaned up the yolk Stan had somehow spilled all over the counter, they headed home. On a normal day, I would have been disappointed that he was leaving, but I was tired, and if he stayed then Stan would surely remain as well.

"Bye dude, see ya' tomorrow." Stan called as he made his way down my driveway.

"Bye...wait, tomorrow...?" Was I missing something here?

"Well, aren't we going to take it to Tweek?" Kyle said and grinned.

"Right."

They left. He left. He was gone, but I would see him tomorrow. Yesterday, today and tomorrow. Three consecutive days of Kyle: new record.

Let's hope that I can beat it.


	4. Peach Melba

**Peach Melba**

Chapter 4

By, the Unlucky-Charm

Not once in my life had I spent this long in front of a mirror. It was embarrassing to be perfectly honest, embarrassing to myself. I was embarrassing myself in front of myself! One side of me was hiding in shame in front of my reflection who laughed at me. But he was right. I didn't look like myself. However, this would be my only opportunity to show Kyle that I wasn't ALWAYS a bed head, black-wearing, retard. Why have I not done this at school you ask? Simple. Because there are too many people who would notice and comment. In this situation here, Tweek will know what I'm up to and will say nothing, Stan will be too preoccupied or stupid to notice and Kyle is just too damn sweet, so I doubt anything bad could come from him.

The actual visiting hours, turns out, start around 2pm, and that's exactly when I heard the loud beeping coming from outside of my house. The stupid Marsh kid had come to pick me up along with his best friend, and my current infatuation, Kyle. I hopped into the back seat, balancing the desert we had made the night before in my lap.

"Looking good, Tucker." Stan said, before putting the car into drive and speeding away towards the hospital.

None of them said anything on the way there. There was no attention on anyone, giving me the opportunities to check my hair in the front mirror without anyone noticing. I was wearing a white V-neck shirt, which stuck to me more than I would have liked it to and a pair of simple jeans. I didn't look out of the ordinary or anything, but I didn't look like himself either, especially when I took off his jacket.

When we finally got there, we walked in, ignored the receptionist and stepped into the elevator. We still hadn't spoken a word to each other, but it wasn't awkward either, just...quiet.

"2nd floor right?" Stan asked and then pushed the button before I answered.

"Yeah."

We stepped out into the creepy looking white hallway and began walking, until I suddenly remembered something...well, more like forgot.

"Hey dude, which one was his room?" Stan asked me, and I seriously didn't know.

"Um..." I knew the doctor was standing over there, but which one was HIS room? 205 or 207, sure we could knock on both and check, but are we even allowed doing that? I must be looking like such an idiot now in front of Kyle. I'm sure if Marsh was in the hospital, he would remember his best friend's room number, but it's not my fault! How could I pay attention to such a minor detail with him standing there with me in the goddamn room!

"Craig..." I heard behind me, followed by a hand gently settling itself on my shoulder. "Are you okay?"

I clenched every muscle in my body, bit down on my tongue and lip and cracked my knuckles; everything I could possibly do to suppress the shudder building up in my body. Goose bumps and sweating could go unnoticed, but if my body randomly began to shake under his touch, it would raise question.

"Y-yeah, but I don't remember which room." I said, very quickly, but I didn't move, that way his hand could remain on my shoulder, but it didn't, and before I knew it, he was walking past me toward one of the rooms.

"It was 207." He said to me and opened the door.

He stepped in and Stan followed him, practically prancing his way into the goddamn room.

"Hey guys!" My best friend yelled from his room. "Where the hell is Craig?"

As I heard him call my name, I jogged in and smirked at him.

"Hey Tweek, how you holding up?"

"I'm fine, what the hell is that you're holding?" He asked, not even bother to ask me if I was okay.

"You're going to love it!" Stan told him with more than enough excitement, clutching the sheets between his fingers.

"You guys got me something? That's so sweet."

"Nah, we made it dude." Kyle corrected him.

"Macaroni art?"

"Even better!" Stan said, hopping in place as I revealed the mystery present hidden under the aluminum foil.

"OMGISTHATCOFFEECHEESECAKE?" Tweek yelled very loud and very quickly, making Kyle take a step back for safety reasons.

"Hell yeah it is!" Stan yelled, patting Tweek on the back. "I cracked the eggs." He added bashfully.

"Awwww! You guys! I'll eat it when the bitch nurse isn't looking."

As I set the dessert into my best friends lap, I realised something. We're having a moment here. If it had been just me and Tweek this second right here would have been much less...lively. It was like a fucking Christmas card picture! Only you know...without the Christmas part. There was the dessert, sitting on Tweek's thighs, then there was Kyle, smiling his sweet smile, compassionate as usual and of course Stan, with his goofy grin and flipping hair being an idiot, but not the annoying type, to my surprise, I was becoming less and less annoyed by the kid.

And then there was me. So tell me, which fucking position was I supposed to be filling in here? They seemed pretty happy, and honestly, I wasn't having a bad time here just watching. My two favourite people in the world and Marsh, it was fun to watch, almost...heart warming? When Kyle put his hand on Tweek's shoulder to ask him how he was feeling, I couldn't help but think 'He has to be mine'. He fit my criteria; more than necessary even! I wanted to ask him if he was doing it all on purpose to get me so flustered, to make me SOMEHOW adore him even more.

"Craig, you okay? Why are you standing over there?" He asked me. I stared at him. Gorgeous smile, deep eyes, intellectual frown. That was him. I nodded and got closer.

And suddenly I was part of it all, and Kyle wasn't a distant dream anymore. He didn't NEED to be mine, he just needed to stay. I'd be happy, as long as he was here, faltering my boring reality and keeping me alive. After this day, surely everything would go back to normal. I would only see him on Thursdays and then wait another seven days for another one. So today, I decided, I was going to make the most of it. I was going to give it my all, so that everything would never go back to normal.

"Enjoy it dude." I told my best friend.

"Thanks guys, you really didn't have to." He said impatiently, rummaging through the tin foil like a madman to find the fork.

"It's no problem." I said and narrowed my gaze toward Kyle from the corner of my eye. "But it took us some time. Stan worked pretty hard on braking those eggs, but Kyle didn't do much though." I said and grinned.

"I did so." He whined and punched my arm gently.

'Maybe if I insult him real bad, he'll tackle me.' I thought, then remembered the football incident and thought that that happening was nearly impossible no matter how much I picked on him.

"Ha! Found it!" Tweek said, raising up the fork like a trophy and then digging into the dessert. "Thanks for the touchdown, by the way." Tweek said, his mouth full.

"No problem dude, it was hard." He said.

"The pressure right?" I said, trying to at least SOUND like I knew two shits about sports. I'm not even sure if 'pressure' could be counted as knowing.

"Nah dude, the touchdown was easy enough. I just had to run." Yes, that's what you were programmed to do, Marsh. "The hard part was dealing with Wendy." He said and chuckled uneasily. He made it sound like it wasn't a big deal, but everyone in the room knew it was. Especially Kyle, who suddenly didn't seem too happy.

Stan must have seen it too because his face fell and his eyes shifted. "Um, anyways, Tweek, how's it taste?"

"Really good!" He said and took another full bite. "Mm, so anything interesting happening guys. I'm seriously bored, so any story will do."

"Yeah, by that he means gossip." I explained.

"Thank you Craig." Tweek said sarcastically. "But yeah, something along those lines."

Kyle chuckled. "Tweek you've been hospitalized for 2 days, only one of them being a school day, nothing much has really-"

"Kenny kissed Cartman Friday night." Stan cut in very casually.

"What!" Tweek and Kyle yelled in unison.

"Ew." I said, because I didn't have any other thoughts on the matter, nor did I want to know more about it.

"How?" Ugh, they had to ask.

"Apparently, Cartman wouldn't leave Butters alone and kept calling him a fag, so Kenny got seriously pissed and kissed him." He explained, addressing Tweek mostly. "So now Cartman's kind of a fag too. Ken texted me and told me to spread it around and make sure everyone calls Cartman a fag now."

Tweek laughed. "Ha! Serves the fat bastard right. Why you guys even hang out with him is a mystery to me."

"He gets us tickets to concerts and events and stuff." Kyle explained with a shrug. "He brings us any new interesting news...stuff like that."

"Yeah, plus Kyle really enjoys having a heartless asshole to argue with in his life." Stan teased, sticking his tongue out at his best friend.

"Yeah." Kyle rolled his eyes. "That's exactly it." He said, with obvious sarcasm.

Hey, I'm a heartless asshole! I wanted to say. You could argue with ME, instead of the fat ass. Would you like to have ME in your life? Because let me tell you, I NEED a sexy, redheaded nerd in mine.

"Must have been gross, kissing Cartman I mean." I said, hoping that it was something normal to say.

"Like kissing a sloppy Joe." Tweek added. "Ugh, Kenny's infected now."

"Nah man." Stan said. "Kenny was infected a LONG time ago."

Kyle laughed. "You're mean." He said in between chuckles.

We talked and laughed for the rest of the time. Marsh and Kyle had a few more stories to tell, which I have to admit, were hilarious. Stan asked me to join the football team a few times. Of course, I politely declined as Tweek desperately tried to hide his snickers under the blanket he had pulled up to his mouth.

Time passed and I swear, no human being on this planet has laughed so much in a hospital as I did. Stan was usually the cause because I have to hand it to him, he has some pretty funny stories. The dude's starting to grow on me, what can I say, I'm an open minded person. But, the one thing that bothered me more than his being an idiot, was him being a total pussy.

Tweek was in the middle of a Butters story when Stan's phone rang.

"Hey babe." He said the second it was against his ear.

Tweek and I looked at each other, confused, as the loud yelling was heard through the receiver.

"I'm at the hospital."

Loud yelling.

"No, no everything's fine, we just brought Tweek some good food."

More loud yelling.

"Well it's me, Ky and Craig."

Bitching.

"I just told you, we brought Tweek some food."

More loud bitching. Jeez, if I were in Stan's shoes, I would have hung up the phone the second I heard her voice.

"But babe I-" He was cut off by, wait for it...

MORE bitching.

"Okay fine." He sighed. "See ya'." He shut it close. "Uh hey guys, I'm real sorry but I gotta go." He put his jacket on along with his hat and smiled awkwardly at all of us.

"Tweek get better buddy." He patted his hair. "Craig dude, I'll see you soon." He turned to me.

"And Ky-" He stopped. "Ky?"

"Yes Stan?" He said in a chilling tone. The redhead had his arms crossed over his chest and was frowning. He was watching him with a certain air of disapproval, like Stan was a child caught in the act. His jaw was tight and his eyes were kind of scary. Of course, for me it was all oddly just a total turn on, but anyone else would have shat their pants by now.

"Are you okay?"

"Going to Wendy right?" He answered him with another question.

"Um yeah, she asked me to."

"Of course she did. Okay then, bye Stan." Kyle said very curtly and turned away from his best friend to face Tweek again.

"Ky, don't give me that!" Stan whined. "I'm sorry! It's just that-"

Kyle sighed and barely smirked. "It's okay, just go dude."

Stan sighed back and left shaking his head to himself.

There was a moment of awkward silence and I knew something was wrong. Wendy's call had hit a nerve. I didn't want to ask him what was wrong or what happened because a few minutes ago he was happy and if I got him started, I knew it would be impossible to get him to go back to his previous mood. I saw him smile and laugh and blush. I didn't want him pissed off. I didn't want to ask him what was wrong because in my mind, I try to block out the idea that something was in fact 'wrong'. I was thinking more of myself than of him and how it would hurt me to see him hurt than the actual hurt he was feeling. It's unbearable! Did that make sense? Either way, that's kind of selfish. And THAT is even more unbearable.

"Kyle are you okay?" I sucked it up and asked, then waited in fear for his response to blow up in my face.

"Yeah, I just hate it when he does that." He turned to me and gave me a weak smile that fell quickly.

"It's okay dude, at least he came. He stayed long enough too." Tweek tried to cheer him up, but I knew that's not what Kyle had meant.

"No, I mean he..." He took a deep breath and glanced at the both of us hesitantly. "God I hate Wendy." He breathed.

"Is it that they spend so much time together?" Tweek asked gently, setting his frail hands lightly on his arm.

"I wouldn't mind all that much if that were the case. It's that Stan acts like...he's like her..." Kyle rolled his eyes at himself and grunted. "Bitch." He took another deep breath. "That bothers me and Tweek I am SO sorry, I'm probably ruining your coffee cheesecake."

"Oh no! Don't think that! Nothing could ruin coffee cheesecake!"

I wasn't sure if that was supposed to be consoling or not but Tweek said it, so he probably meant well.

"Good." Kyle smiled his same old smile. Which was the biggest relief of my life.

"Guys, not to be rude or anything." Tweek yawned. "But I'm seriously tired so if you wouldn't mind..." He said, stretching his arms out with the fork dangling in the airs.

He obviously wanted us to leave, but why? I knew for a fact that he was lying about being tired. The kid never was and plus he just ate some coffee based food which meant he'd me very jumpy for the next few hours. I watched as Kyle nodded and began putting on his jacket. Just for the sake of Tweek, I didn't say anything and followed.

"By the way Craig." My best friend said. I knew it. There was a catch, I could tell in his tone. "What is this stuff here?" He pointed at a part of dessert.

"Which part?"

"This one."

I sighed and rolled my eyes as I began making my way to his bedside again. What the hell did he want? He had eaten this stuff before.

"This." He said and pointed at the cake.

I was about to answer 'caramel' when something on the cake caught my eye. On top of it, Tweek had carved a message with the fork.

"**Take him 2 ur hous!"**

"It's caramel idiot." I said, and mouthed an impatient 'I know' to him once Kyle was looking away.

"Well how should I know, you hadn't used it last time!" He winked, letting me know he was speaking in code.

"Well I didn't know I could." I answered. "I'll use it from now on."

I was sure we were talking about Kyle by now; at least that's what I was doing. I'd pick him over cake any day. I began to walk away from my best friend, but I should have known better. I would never get the last word with this guy.

"Hmm, yeah you should. But next time, try eating it when it's HOT and STICKY. It'll taste better, I'm sure." Tweek grinned like a maniac and I could almost SEE the evil laugh he was holding back.

I swear, if the 'caramel' itself wasn't standing in the room with us, I would have jumped him like some kind of ninja.

"Bye Tweek." I called and pushed Kyle out the door with me just in case Tweek decided to add something even more explicit to his already sexual innuendo. I needed to get out before he stuck even more mental imagery into my head.

When we stepped into the cold air, only then did we realise, oh shit, Marsh was our ride.

"You must hate her even more now." I chuckled.

He grinned shyly and stared down at his feet. He was wither blushing or the cold was just stinging his face, either was it was cute.

He didn't answer me and we kept walking. He was obviously upset and I really didn't know what to do. The only person I ever had to deal with like this in my life was Tweek and in that case all you have to do if feed him coffee and listen to him panic. Eventually, he would calm himself down. But Kyle had no special preference to coffee (not that I knew of) and wasn't the type to start panicking and bawling. HE was quiet. Which didn't make me uncomfortable, but scared me. Because when people like Tweek yell and freak out, at least you have an idea of what's going on in their heads, but only Moses knows what the fuck Kyle was thinking of at the moment. Plus, he's much brighter than the rest of the population in this damn town, so obviously his thoughts aren't simple either. I have every right to be scared, damn it!

The only way, I figured, was be quiet too and let him think. Maybe if I was lucky, he'd sort it out himself. So, that's what we did. We walking in silence until we got to my house.

"Bye Craig." He said when we stopped in front of it.

I was about to say goodbye when I remembered Tweek's cake message.

"Um, uh...no." I stuttered.

No? No what you douche! Speak like a normal person!

Kyle raised an eyebrow at me. "Come in." I said.

"Oh, um, I really-"

"I'm not giving you a choice." I said and grabbed his arm.

Great, act like a rapist. Good job Tucker.

He didn't say anything, so I took it as permission to drag him into my house. We stepped in and I shut the door behind us. By the time I locked the door, he had taken his shoes off and was just standing there, blinking at me. I took my shoes off too, my hand still grasping his arm, and dragged to the kitchen, where I finally let go.

"Sit." I ordered.

He sat and watched me with curious eyes as I began opening cabinets and drawers.

"What are you-"

"Tell m what's wrong." I said. "Don't say there isn't, you should probably talk about this to someone." I spoke awkwardly, because the only place I had seen situations like this was in the movies. The characters were girls, but I didn't have any other option here.

"It's no big deal." He said.

"Okay, so tell me this." I said, reaching out for some fancy ass bowls on the top shelf. "Why does Stan do whatever she wants, like that. Have you told him that it's not right, 'cause Marsh can be slow sometimes."

He chuckled half heartedly and I hope he was smiling. I couldn't see his face.

"This happens a lot." He began, and I was happy he couldn't see me either because I smirked to myself. It was easier to crack him than I thought.

"If it happened every once in a while, I'd go as far as making fun of him about it, but now it's like, every time we're out somewhere with anyone, she calls him and asks him where he is and everything. Most of the time, it's not even to spend time with him. Once she called him over from so that he could help her pack for her trip! Who does that? We were at Stark's pond and he just left!" He ranted.

I took out a couple of peaches and began slicing then into crescent shapes. I placed them into the bowls in a circular form, leaving a round space empty in the middle.

"On top of it all, he treats him terribly! Even Bebe says so sometimes, even though she's not anything better. I don't want to sound like a shallow bastard, but at least with Bebe, Stan would be getting laid!"

I laughed at the last part and so did he. "Go on." I said.

"The worst part is that he's aware of it all, but just let's it happen. He stays with her because it's 'safe', in his words. Shouldn't you have to like someone to stay with them? Plus, she really hates me. I'm the only case where he can say no to her. Whenever I'm tutoring him for example, she calls him and offers to teach him herself. Like I'm RIGHT THERE, I can HEAR her! Anyway, for some reason that's the only place Stan has a say." He stopped talking the second I drizzled on the topping; right on time.

"Here." I said and settled one of the bowls right in front of him.

"What is it?"

"Peach melba."

He picked up an ice cream covered peach and popped it into his mouth. "It's good. Thank you."

"You're welcome."

"What's the pink stuff?"

"Raspberry sauce."

"I like it."

We ate in silence and very fast. I like the last part because the ice cream had melted by then and you could dip the peach in there and it would be like fondue.

"Um Craig." Kyle said and I looked up. "Do you have a tissue?" He asked looking around the room.

My mouth almost fell open at the sight. My guess would have been that he tried drinking the last drops of melted vanilla ice cream and it...dripped. He had some dripping from his mouth down to his chin. Even though his hand was covering most, I felt a twitch somewhere and I really hoped it would go as far as twitch. Damn, if Tweek were here, I don't even want to think of what he would say.

"Um, right." I got up and brought him a towel because really, I have no idea what happened to the Kleenex box that was usually on the table.

"Sorry, by the way." He said, once he had wiped it off.

"Dude it's fine, I'm the one who didn't have any tissues."

He chuckled. "No, I mean for before. The ranting."

Of course that's what he meant idiot! Why would he have apologized to me for having spilled ice cream on himself!

"Why? It's fun to see you like that." I said. "It's good to see you get angry at people; it's a comfort knowing that I'm not the only one you hate." I smiled and tried to make it look sexy.

Oh God, I probably LOOKED like a rapist now, I mentally face-palmed myself.

"I don't hate you." He said simply, smiling and looking ahead. "You just confuse me."

I confuse him. What, in my short amount of dialogue with him, was SO complicated, as to confuse him, of all people. What could I have possibly said to 'confuse' him so much.

"I confuse you...? How?"

I picked up our bowls and began rinsing them in the sink.

"You're just...confusing. You're not like everyone else."

What the hell was this kid talking about? Everyone else? Butters isn't like everyone else and yet I find nothing confusing about him. Why am I the different one here? I'm a regular teenager! Well, at least that's what I make people think. I'm actually in love with Kyle Broflovski and obsess over him daily. I was born without emotion and thanks to him I'm slowly starting to feel. I'm still in the closet and I will only come out if Kyle asks me to, which is never because he won't even know I'm in there in the first place.

So, unless Kyle somehow figured all of THAT out, he has no plausible reason as of why I 'confuse' him so.

"Yeah, but I don't get what's so confusing about that." I explained to him. "So come on, what is it about me that boggles you so?"

"It doesn't matter, I don't want to sound like smartass. Forget it."

"Be my guest."

"You're not gonna let it go are you?"

I threw the towel I had used to wipe my hands onto the counter and sat back across him.

"Well you brought it up, so no, I will not."

He sighed. "Fine. Personally, I don't think the people in this town are very...complicated. They're very simple minded...in a nice way, like-"

"They're a bunch of idiots." I cut in. "You don't need to sugar coat it, you're right."

"Okay, sure. And I always found it very easy to read all of them. Based on their pasts, their lifestyles, I could understand the cause of their actions and their way of thinking." He explained, refusing to meet my eyes.

"Example?" I asked. I had understood what he meant, but I just wanted to know what he had 'read' from these people.

"Um, Wendy. She's a bitch to Stan because her mom wasn't like that with her own husband, and you know what happened? He cheated on her. So Wendy sees that and thinks that if she's the exact contrary of how her mother was, her man won't cheat. Of course, she didn't think that EXACTLY, it's all in the subconscious." He explained unhappily, because he obviously didn't feel comfortable speaking about this.

I wanted to ask him for another example because I'm not going to lie, I was damn interested in his analysis of Butters.

"I see. So my analysis confuses you? And you're realising this now?"

"No. That's the thing; I AM realising this now. I mean you're so...COLD with everyone, but then when I actually met you, you weren't."

"So what was your original reading? Horrible right?"

He chuckled. "I wouldn't say horrible, more like harsh. In my head, I always thought that your parents weren't the type to smother their kids in love and adoration, so I figured you and your sister grew up to be angry people who just didn't care about anything and only spoke when something needed to be said." He explained, kind of accurately.

He was right. He was 100% right. I wanted to tell him that because that's what I wanted people to think. Now, he thought he knew the 'truth'. He thought he knew the real Craig and Ruby, but he didn't! I wanted to yell at him 'No! You were right the first time!'. It's just that this kid right here, had the misfortune to be the object of affection of BOTH Tucker children, so of course we'd be different to the one person we like! But that just happens to be YOU!

"But I was wrong, I guess. You're really nice and not as dumb and shallow as I thought you'd be."

"So...it confuses you that you were wrong?" I inquired. If he answered yes, he would sound like a real smartass but I was hoping he did, because I wanted this conversation to end. I was in dangerous waters. He was VERY close to uncovering something I didn't want him to.

"No, that's not it at all!" He said, defensively. "What confuses me is why you show this side of you to a very little amount of people. I understand with Tweek; you guys are best friends, but why with me? You used to be cold with Stan. You ARE with Kenny and Cartman, but why not me? You were never cold with me, even when we first met."

He was on the edge. On the limit. If he thought just a BIT more. If he pushed himself a LITTLE further, he would find out. My heart had stopped, I was sure, because I couldn't feel it beating. I sure as hell couldn't breathe and I looked terrified; like I had just seen a ghost. I wish I had. I would rather ghost over this situation.

"I like you." I said. I meant it in ONE way and luckily, he understood it in another. "There's very few people I like and you're one of them." I shrugged. "That's it. I think you're a good person. I don't feel like I'm wasting my time when I talk to you."

And I love you. I love you more than my health can take. So please, please, spare me these personality readings, because I like how everything is now. If I tell you...I'm too scared of the results.

"Thanks dude." He said and smiled a full tooth smile.

"Yeah, Craig Tucker can be nice." I rolled my eyes. "Just don't tell anyone." I added, even though I doubt he would .

"Ha-ha, imagine me running toward you in the hall and hugging you. The reactions would be funny." He laughed.

"Ha-ha, ha-ha, NO!" I told him sternly and then softened. "Please don't do that, people will think I'm nice."

"And...you don't want them to know why...?"

"Because then they'll approach me." I whined.

"Oh, and we can't let that happen now can we." He teased me.

"No we can't."

Eventually, we migrated to the living room, where we watched some TV and talked some more. Nothing important really, except when he asked me if I was interested in any girls.

"Not really." I answered. "None of them really do it for me."

"Yeah same here. Once, Stan tried to hook me up with Heidi." He chuckled. "Neither of us wanted to go so we sat in my living room and played video games all night instead of going to the restaurant. She told me it was the best 'date' she ever had."

"Wow, so that's a date with Kyle. You're so romantic, dude." I joked.

"Yeah, that's a date with me."

"Hey Kyle."

"Yeah?"

"Wanna go on a date with me?"

"Sure. Let's say Tuesday after school, my basement?"

"That's fine with me."

"Will I be expecting a kiss?" He asked me, his eyes still glued to the television.

I slowly turned my head toward him and searched his face for hope. None.

"Watch out. I just might not be able to restrain myself."

This time, he turned to face me and smiled through some hazy eyes.

"Can't wait."

God, if you only knew, Broflovski.


	5. City Wok

**City Wok**

Chapter 5

By, the Unlucky-Charm

"HEY! CRAIG! LOOK WHO'S BACK!"

I'm not the type to get embarrassed easily, more like it's hard to be able to embarrass me. There's not much about myself that could amuse people or be made fun of. You know...except when fucking Stanley Marsh of all people decides to yell my name out from the opposite end of the main hallway of our Godforsaken school. Did this turn a few heads? Nope, it turned ALL of them. Can't blame them. It's not everyday that beloved quarterback Stan Marsh calls after stoic emotionless Craig Tucker. The only reason why I bothered smirking a little and making my way over there was because first, the big idiot was pointing at Tweek who was back on his feet and second, Kyle was leaning on the locker next to him, his hands in his pockets and a smile on his face. Step by step, I walked to my favourite 2 and a half people in the world (still unsure about Marsh). The stares of the student body were not subtle and I doubted any of them was trying to be. I flipped them all off, to which Kyle snorted and rolled his eyes.

"Is that all you know how to do?" Marsh asked me.

I can also stick it up your friend's ass if you want.

"Maybe." I said instead because my first choice sounded a little unorthodox, even in my head.

"Well aren't you happy I'm back!" Tweek said, scattering his arms happily.

"You were gone for a day and I visited you on the weekend. You could have had the flu for what I care." I answered him as his face fell into a frown. "But yeah, I'm happy you're back twitchy." I added.

"Everyone is." Kyle joined in.

"Exactly! This calls for a celebration tonight! Craig will cook." Stan said, raising an invisible glass into the air.

"Can't" Kyle stopped him with a smug look on his face. "Got a date tonight." He said cockily.

I almost puked out my heart from the sudden sharp pain in my gut, until I remember that, oh wait, that's me! He just said it so casually, I could have sworn he was talking about an actual date with a girl. I could tell that Tweek was thinking the same thing, since suddenly he looked a little panicked. He had that look on his face when he wanted to blow up into a million questions. With who, when, where, why not Craig...all of that stuff. Him holding back came close to him being constipated, which was hilarious.

"Awesome dude, with who?" Stan said, readying his hand for a high five which Kyle ignored.

"Don't get excited, it's with Craig." He said and slid down the locker into a sitting position next to Tweek, who's eyes, by the way, were shinning like a pervert's on a beach.

"Awwww, romantic!" Tweek squealed, not sarcastically enough.

"Riiight, so fucking adorable." Stan said, very sarcastically, rolling his eyes. "I thought you were talking about a chick."

"No way! Kyle is way too good for these bitches!" Tweek said.

That's right. None of these whores deserve my Kyle. None of them could ever have the brain capacity to understand the value of even being near him. Being in his presence is enough to drive me mad and you can just forget about it if he gets too close. This kid never leaves my mind, sometimes when I lose myself in those thoughts and zone out completely, I can even smell him in the room. I sit up in a start thinking he's behind me, that he's watching me think about him. Sometimes, my fantasies and daydreams get so fierce, so very real that I'm scared he can see them too. That the images themselves are being projected through my eyes for everyone to watch. Until the day one of these bitch assed girls walks up to and tells me something along those lines, I will NOT give up Kyle to any kind of girl who thinks as far as 'oh, I like his eyes'. Damn right bitch! But you better stop looking at them, because they are mine along with the person which they belong to.

"So what are you gonna do, hang out in your basement and play video games?" Stan teased. "Give poor Craig the Heidi treatment, huh Ky?"

I didn't like the way Marsh had put that. The Heidi treatment, as if I didn't deserve my own. I hoped things would be less awkward with me than they were with the girl. I had found a new respect for her for having been nice to Kyle and giving me the opportunity to 'ask him out'. In some third dimension where Kyle and I are actually together publicly, I should be thanking Heidi with all my heart.

"I wouldn't call it that, but I guess so."

"I wouldn't worry about it Stan, it's more like poor Kyle will be receiving the Craig treatment." Tweek said and winked at me.

Huh. The Craig treatment...I wouldn't even approach that with a ten foot pole, let alone make Kyle go through with it. Sitting in a basement with boring old me and my boring comments and boring looks. Unfortunately for Broflovski, I would definitely NOT be treating him like that. Tweek would kill me if he found out I was boring. On top of it all, we were going to be alone in his basement, NOT ranting about how much Wendy sucks, so what the hell were we supposed to talk about? He's going to be all happy and cheery, I'm not sure how to respond. Sudden fear rose inside me, making me anxious for tomorrow and actually hoping it would never come. I had dreamed of the day I would be alone with him, but right now, it's not very appealing. Not the Kyle part of it all, it's mostly just the me part.

"Well what do we have here?" I voice purred as an orange form appeared in my visual field. "Twitchy AND Craig...the whole package. Kylie dear, would you explain." Kenny McCormick leaned into Kyle with his fucking cat grin, narrowing his damn cat eyes at me and Tweek. I ground my teeth together and hoped my mouth was closed so nobody would see

Kyle sighed. "We're just talking." He said and pushed him away. "And please get off."

"Well, Craig doesn't seem very happy to see me." The blonde said, resting his head against the side of my redhead's even though he had CLEARLY said to get the FUCK off.

Tweek, his head currently being at level with my hands, must have seen my fists clench and my knuckles turn white under my slightly long sleeves because he began giggling awkwardly.

"I'm happy to see you Kenny!" Tweek said, waving his hand at the other blonde, his eyes into half moons because of that fake giddy smile he pulled off so well.

The lopsided smirk that appeared on the poor bastard's face was so self satisfied and so damn perverted that it sent a shiver of disgust down my spine. He was exactly the type of guy I would keep my sister away from and probably my mom while I'm at it.

"And I," Kenny purred, pulling Tweek up to his feet and close to his face. "am VERY happy to see you Tweek."

They stood chest to chest, with their hands still together and damn it Tweek, I wish you didn't look so bashful with that blush over your cheeks, giving the damn pervert all the more reason to think he's the shit. I always hated how McCormick thought a lot of himself.

"Yeah, yeah, let's all be gay." Stan said sarcastically and rolled his eyes. "Now Ken, please stop being a pervert."

"Why Stanley, what have I told you about keeping me for yourself? It's not very nice."

I felt out of place and I could see Tweek did too. We were standing in the presence of the school's 'celebrities'. The only thing missing to make us feel all the more uncomfortable would be Wendy and Bebe.

I wasn't intimidated, hell no. These guys were jackasses when put together. Point was, I felt like I was betraying my own principles by hanging around. I wondered how terribly rude it would be if I grabbed Tweek and ran away. Not for my sake, but for his; poor guy was completely star struck. All four of them were paying attention to him and all he could do was babble. Then again, babble was what Tweek usually did anyway.

"Hey, we should go." I said, wanting to sound as mean as possible, but holding back only because Kyle was staring straight at me.

"See you tomorrow Craig!" He called after me as I dragged Tweek away.

"I think I died." He muttered the whole way to class. "They're so...shiny!"

I rolled my eyes and smacked the side of his head. The only thing shiny I saw about those people was the fact that Kyle was standing next to them. All I saw was a fatass, a poor pervert, a stupid jock and a delicious looking redhead.

"Way to look like a groupie, Tweek. Drooling would have added a great touch." The sarcasm was not subtle in my voice.

"Didn't wanna steal your thing." He muttered, receiving a second smack.

He completely ignored me the rest of the way, staring back down the hallway as if they were still there.

"Craig." He groaned. "I know what I want for Christmas."

"I swear I you say Kenny McCormick..." I snarled and warned him.

The bastard giggled his ass off and skipped into class. I sighed and followed.

As Garrison began to speak, I spaced out in no time, wishing it were Tuesday and wondering how much a cardboard cut-out of McCormick would cost.

He's smart, he's witty, he can read and understand people, so you would think clueless was something he was not. He never seemed to pick up the perverted innuendo that ran out of Tweek's mouth like water from a faucet and thank God for that. He had the libido of any teenage boy, since he watched porn just like all of us and after all, he was McCormick's good friend, how could he not, right?

One thing, however, Kyle had no idea about, was how alluring he was. If I were Stan, Kenny, or even the fatass, I would have jumped him years ago. The four practically lived together, it was almost a miracle no sexual tension existed between them. Or maybe they were just so used to each other, therefore everything was just ordinary...Like showing Hugh Hefner a picture of a naked lady, right? He wouldn't be effected as much as any other man because he lived in a house full of the real live things!

So, with that logic, even the most normal things Kyle did made me react more...intensely than Marsh would. For example, Kyle had this habit of putting his pen between his teeth and flicking his tongue over the tip of the cap. The Jewish bastard did that every time we had an exam. How the hell am I supposed to concentrate when such mind numbing wonders were taking place a few feet away?

Sure, you sexy bastard, go right ahead! Stretch your arms so your shirt will ride up! Lick your lips, bite them, nibble on your pencil! Why the fuck not? It's not like I'm slowly going insane here. Oh? Did you drop something? Well, why don't you bend the fuck OVER and pick it up? Don't you worry about me, I'll just sit here and choke on the water accumulating in my mouth!

Oh dear Lord, am I hopeless! And to think that in 24 hours, I would be in his basement, alone with him sitting right next to me. Self control would be a serious issue.

"Penny for your thoughts?" Tweek said from behind his math book.

"Shut up."

"How about we make a deal?" Tweek looked over it and grinned deviously. Even though I couldn't really see his mouth from behind the book, I knew he was. "Watching your balls turn blue by fantasizing about Kyle has given me an idea."

Mind reading bitch.

"Fine, what?" I probably would decline, but I was curious to know what he had in mind.

"How about we set some rules for tomorrow night?" He said.

"What do you mean?"

"You're obviously freaking about how you're going to control yourself around him right? Well, what if we fight fire with fire here? How about you be as sexy as he is?"

"Impossible."

It wasn't going to work. I was turned on when the guy blinked, for the love of God.

"No, I'm serious! Be seductive! Not necessarily physically like..." He paused and began to think of an example he could give me. He pondered for a while and slapped his hands against his thighs when he thought of something. "Ha!"

"What?" I said, emotionless.

"He fidgets right?"

I wasn't sure what Kyle's fidgeting had to do with me being sexy, but I decided to humour him and see where this would take me.

"Yeah, his legs and feet do sometimes."

It was true. During class, when we sit through exams, there's always a tapping noise coming from beside me. I could see his knee bob up and down under his desk in my peripheral vision.

"Perfect! So when you guys are sitting close to each other and he starts fidgeting, just settle your hand gently on his thigh and whisper something like 'it's distracting me'... be sexy though!" He explained sounding excited. It was clear that he was set on this plan and wasn't going to let go. It was officially beyond my control.

It wasn't a bad idea, but touching him like that would definitely backfire. How was I supposed to act all sexy and confident if he was going to stare back at me with his gorgeous emerald eyes and bashful smile. He'd tilt his head and chuckle a little too, right before apologizing oh so very sweetly. See? This is how much I study the guy. I know how he'll react before I even say anything.

"See? You're daydreaming about it already! It's retard-proof!" Tweek said and shoved my shoulder. I couldn't help but smirk when he jumped (fell) out of his chair and picked up the notebook he had smashed to the ground earlier to kill a spider and ripped out a page. He began scribbling some words on it. Female friends were SO overrated when you had Tweek.

Then, like some kind of sloth, he crawled back onto his chair and continued writing.

"Okay, now for rule number two."

I peered over his shoulder to see what he was writing.

Stop the fidgeting.

...

"Why are you writing them down? How many could they're possible be?"

He stared at me bluntly for while, as if I had asked the dumbest question ever, and then continued writing.

There ended up being a whole lot of rules. Some of them to my advantage and others, not so much. According to Tweek, they were all important. I disagreed.

"I'm not doing that." I said, handing him back the notebook paper, even though I had only read until rule number 26. I had seen enough.

"What? Which one?" He squeaked, scrolling down the page with his finger.

"25." I answered, but that was only an example of what I was so not going to do.

"Tight jeans? What's wrong with that?"

I could write him a fucking book about what was wrong with that.

"Tweek think. They're TIGHT**. **I'm going to KYLE'S." I put emphasis on his name. "I need some room, dude."

Tweek seemed to stare down at the paper for a while with a small pout, and then ended up agreeing with me since I saw him cross out that one rule. "What else?" He asked and we began going through the list together.

"What's with number 14?" I asked, even though I didn't really have a problem with it.

"Dude, you wore braces through middle school and that shouldn't go to waste if you ask me." He explained. "You have a gorgeous smile, if you flash it around more, you're bound to make him melt at least a little."

I answered with a simple nod, making no promises. Number 15 was very similar, only it told me to laugh more as well. I made no promises for that one either.

Some of them I really didn't like, but understood their purpose, hence I didn't bother pointing them out. However, number 22 puzzled me.

"Read body language? What the hell does that mean?"

"It's easy. You have to monitor his movements and determine what he wants based on that."

I blinked at him. "What?"

"Like if he flutters his lashes, he's obviously flirting. If he pouts, he wants attention on his mouth. If he keeps making physical contact, he wants you to touch him back, etc..."

"Aren't those things girls would do?"

"Yes, but I think it applies. I'm starting to believe you have a chance here Craig, so I want you to make as many moves as possible."

"Right..." I have never been so lost in my life.

The rest of the list wasn't so bad. I made him cross the last one though because it said something like 'tell him how you feel' and that was just a load of crap. I dwelled on one last one and then we had our final list.

"What's 28?" I asked. It said 'make him blush', but what I wanted to know was how the fuck I was supposed to do that.

"Compliment him a little, say slightly embarrassing things, surprise him...say things you normally wouldn't." Tweek explained, and also failed to his the small smile in his lips. He seemed to like this rule.

"Like what." I said, curiously.

"Um, like..." He set his index finger over his lips and smiled innocently at me. "Don't you find that Tom Felton had the nicest ass out there. Or... Ryan Gosling's body is the hottest of hot?"

It only took one of my deadly looks to make him fly out of his chair.

"Agh! Sorry, sorry ,sorry, you can be more subtle! GAH! Don't kill me!" He screamed, throwing himself on my bed and protecting himself with my pillow.

"I thought so." I said and went over to sit myself down by his head. With a sigh, he pushed the pillow away from him and dropped his head onto my lap. He did this whenever he wanted me to play with his messy hair, and I have never failed to oblige.

"You've been combing it for once?" I asked him, when my fingers ran smoothly through a couple of strands.

"Got bored in the hospital." He explained and nestled his face snugly in my jeans. "Was painful."

I chuckled and went on to the next strand. "I'm sure." I mumbled almost inaudibly.

"Hey Craig?"

"Yeah Tweek?"

"He likes you, you know. He really does."

"And how are you so sure?" I kept my tone even, but deep inside I was dying to know what made him think so.

"I'm not... But how can he not? You're perfect for him." He whispered, a yawn almost overlapping his sentence.

"And how is that?"

"You just..." He yawned again. "are."

I wanted to continue this conversation but my friend didn't seem to be in a state where he could give me valid arguments.

Besides, I'm pretty sure he had fallen asleep.

I wanted to kill Tweek. I really, really did. The only thing standing between me and doing so, was my mother with a grand smile on her face.

"What the hell's going on?" I growled, half awake, half asleep to the people who had awoken me 2 hours earlier than I needed to.

"Tweek's here to make you look decent, now get your ass out of bed before you ruin your hair even more." She ordered and left.

"Tweek. What the fuck?" I said, sitting up and rubbing my eyes. "What time is it?"

"Six. We need to get you ready for today." He said, as if it was a totally valid reason. "Now get up and try on these clothes."

I obeyed him, just because I knew that if I didn't, my mother would make me. And so, from six to eight, I got ready to get to school. I felt like a girl by the time we had to be on our way. I had through a series of tortured involving clean clothes, cologne, hair products and almost jewellery. I say almost because no matter how much they insisted, I had my limits dude. A golden cross hanging all the way down to the middle of my torso was NOT an option.

"Who are you trying to impress?" My sister asked, obviously mocking my discomfort in the new clothes I wore and not to mention the absence of my hat.

"No one." I answered at the same time Tweek yelled 'a total cutie!'. "NO. ONE." I emphasized and shot Tweek a dirty look, telling him to shut the hell up. "Tweek just decided to do this on a whim of his. I don't know what's going through his mind."

"Agh! It's to get you laid, retard. You can at least say thanks!"

I blushed and awkwardly ran my fingers through my neat looking hair, trying to mess it up at least a little bit so I wouldn't look like a TOTAL douche when walking in the hallways. Compared to my previous look, this one was a bit of a drastic change and would draw attention on me. It was even worse than the last time I tried to look good and wore a damn shirt. In this case, the jeans were too new and the shirt was too crisp and the shoes were his old black converses. They looked out of place on my feet.

"Tweek where did you get these?"

"Presents for my 15th. My aunts thought I would have grown by now, man were they in for a surprise." He laughed and put the hair products back into the cupboard. "If anything, I had shrunk."

I tugged at the hem of the white shirt with the light grey patterns on it. I hated it. I hated whatever wasn't plain. Even the slightest bit of originality put me off. I looked like such a fag.

"You look great!" My mom said, her arms scattered by her sides. Now I KNEW I looked like a fag.

"Whatever." I said, picked up my bag, and flipped my hair to the side. God, I felt like Justin Bieber... or that Goth kid with the red hair. I just didn't know which was worst.

Walking to my locker was the worst experience ever. I didn't know what Tweek had done or how he had done it, but he had officially made me look normal. Which to the rest of the South Park student, was anything but normal. I looked like them, which was something new. I instantly stood out.

"Tweek, some of them are staring at me." I whispered to him angrily.

"It's because you're HOT." He said way too loudly, making a few heads turned.

I smacked my palm against my face, hoping that by blinding myself, the people around me wouldn't see me either. Apparently, that's not how it work.

"Whoa, hey check it out! Tucker's looking sexy!"

Fuck you Marsh. Fuck you. I hope you die. Fuck you and your football and your sports. Fuck you.

"Yeah, he really does." Kyle whistled, sounding somewhat impressed.

Thank you Marsh. I still hate you, but thank you so very much.

Kyle grinned at me with a questioning look, which look like 'what the hell is all this?'. Frankly, I did not have an answer for him. What could I say? Tweek suddenly felt an urge to make me look better in order to seduce you. Ha-ha, funny story right?

"What's the occasion?" Marsh asked, pulling at my collar.

I was about to tell him that there was no occasion, when suddenly one of the rules popped into my head.

"Tweek believes that I should look good for Kyle." I said and shrugged.

Tweek pursed his lips to suppress a smile and turned to Stan, hoping for an interesting response.

"Ha! Sucks for you dude." He said, and nudged me.

"Nah, he's worth it." I said and sent my redhead a wink.

And then...

Drum roll please...

He blushed!

Tweek didn't even bother hold back the giggle this time. Even I spared them a smile, which was also another rule wasn't it? I was on a roll this morning.

"Well, thank you Craig." Kyle said and rolled his eyes at me playfully.

I was about to answer him with something witty, but the bell rang, so we bid them good day and left for our classes.

On the way to science, Tweek held on to my arm like a girl would do if she were going out with me and refused to stop chuckling.

"What the hell was that?" He said and punched my arm gently. "It was so cool! Keep it up!"

I rolled my eyes, which added a nice touch to the smug smile I couldn't get off my face. Maybe these rules weren't such a bad idea...

"My parents aren't home today and Ike is gonna be here a little late." He said, as he unlocked his front door and led me into the house.

"So no annoying brother right?" I said and smiled, which I still hadn't gotten the hang of.

"Nah, Ike's a nice kid."

I took off my shoes and followed him further into the house. "You are the first person to even say that about their sibling." I let him know. I couldn't think of anyone else in South Park who liked their brother or sister like Kyle liked Ike.

"I'm the first person to have a decent sibling." He answered and grinned.

"Touché Broflovski."

He took me down to his basement, which looked kind of classy compared to the rest of South Park and only then did I realise that the room smelled strongly of Kyle. But hey, it's not like I'm complaining. It's just that it will make it harder for me to follow the rules. He hopped down the stairs that were clearly familiar to him. I followed slowly watching him walk to the TV in the corner turn it on.

"I have a bunch of shit we can play since Stan and the fatass always leave their games here." He explained to me and crouched down to check out what he had in stock.

Let the torture begin.

Kyle's shirt had ridden up his back, revealing once more, his Calvin Klein underwear I had become so fond of. Different color of course, but honestly I had liked the other ones better.

"You hungry?" He asked me all of a sudden.

For your ass? Why of course.

"Um, kind of." I lied. I was starving and couldn't wait to see what he had in the fridge to cook up.

"You mind left over City Wok?" He asked and chuckled uncomfortably. "Kind of all we have."

"I can cook something if you want." I answered.

Kyle smiled at me. I couldn't really read what it meant, but he seemed a little shy about it and blushed instantly when our staring contest was going a little too far.

"I can't really make my guest cook for me. That's weird."

He got up and jerked his head to the side, motioning me to follow.

"How about we get the food and eat downstairs?" He suggested.

"Seriously dude, I don't mind City Wok, in fact I prefer it, but I don't mind cooking for you." I insisted. He didn't seem very excited about the left over Chinese food.

Kyle rolled his eyes and threw his head back with a grunt. He extended his arm and grabbed my hand.

"What am I going to do with you?" He sighed and began dragging me back upstairs.

Kyle's skin was soft, but not like baby skin or anything. You could tell it was the hand of a teenage boy, but it wasn't as rugged as what I imagine Marsh's would be like. His grip on my own hand was remarkably firm and felt like some unknown feeling. It felt so unfamiliar and strange over my own that I got angry at myself for not being used to it. I suddenly wanted more. More contact between us to make up for the fact that I was a stranger to the feeling of his hand. I wanted to make a move, thinking it would be the perfect time, but what could I do? Lace my fingers with his? Run my thumb over the back of his hand? Trust me, I would have loved to do either or, but how awkward would it be if I took him by surprise like that.

He took me to his kitchen, which was what a warm welcoming, family kitchen should look like. Everything was clean, but it was obvious that people ate in here. The fridge was covered in old drawings Ike had probably done and even older ones by Kyle. Fruit patterned tiling covered part of the wall around the counter and a pile of dishes awaited Mrs. Broflovski in the sink, ready to be cleaned. Kyle opened the fridge filled with a whole bunch of leftovers. I wondered why we couldn't have some of the other stuff if he didn't like the Chinese.

"I'll eat the Chinese if you want. You can have the casserole dude." I told him and watched him flinch a little. Did he not like casserole either?

"I think that's gone bad..." He muttered, slightly embarrassed. Was it because he felt intimidated to talk about food in the presence of such a great chef? Shut up self, don't get cocky.

"Well..." I said prolonging the 'l' at the end of the word. I took a step and was standing right behind him. I might have looked stable, but if you touched me, you could feel how much my limbs were trembling. I wrapped my arms around his neck like a backwards hug, and placed my face right next to his, my mouth way too close to his ear. Licking the shell and then blowing over it was something I had to resist.

"Hey Ky." I said in a husky tone. "You know...I could always cook."

I felt his shoulders stiffen under my forearms that hung downwards from his collarbone. From over his shoulder, I saw his arms cross over his chest and grab each of my hand, and before I knew it, he had spun me around and was watching me with fiery red cheeks. He held my wrists tight in front of him, our arms linked together in between the distance that separated us.

"No. My guest. My food." He stated, looking at me from those dark lashes of his.

"Stubborn." I said, squeezing his shoulder and sitting at the kitchen table. "City Wok sounds good though."

And in all honesty, in really was. For left over Chinese, it was seriously good and I even finished of Kyle's portion too. Who knew that micro waved dinner could taste so delicious.

By now, we had reached the first half hour of video game playing and this kid had beaten me 75% of the time. Wasn't my fault I wanted to play with so much more of his that just his game controller. He looked marvellous with his tongue sticking out from the corner of his lips, his eyes squinted and eyebrows lowered in concentration. His fingers went very fast, which gave me way too many ideas to be able to control what mine were doing. He had his jacket off and was wearing jeans and a shirt, making me look very overdressed. He was sitting with his legs crossed and his knee was bobbing up and down. His shoes were similar to mine but –

His knee was bobbing. He was fidgeting. That was my cue wasn't it? I felt like I million little Tweek's yelling in my head, telling me to get on with it along with a million little Craig's telling them to shut the fuck up because I was to touch Kyle Broflovski's motherfucking thigh. His thigh! That's the closest I've ever been to... I really should stop thinking about Kyle like that. He was heavenly and I'd like to keep it sinless not to...taint his pureness.

I swallowed hard and twice since my mouth kept watering and slowly glided my hand over to his thigh. I felt it hesitate before it settled down on the warm fabric. My touch was light and I thought it better to push down a little so it wouldn't look like I was feeling him up.

I tried to keep my eyes on the screen, but from the corner of my gaze I spotted his eyes pop open when he saw my hand right around his area.

"C-Craig?" He stuttered.

I casually turned to him and smirked. "It's distracting. Your fidgeting. Cute, but distracting."

"Is that why you keep losing to me?" He said flirtatiously, pressing a few more buttons on the controller before I heard my character blow to pieces in an explosion.

"Something like that..." I trailed off, removing my hand at the speed of a tortoise in order to enjoy ever painfully short second of physical contact I had with him. "And you know, the fact that you're just adorable."

I saw him take an impatient deep breath, pause the game, and rotate towards me, his face now right in font of mine.

"Okay, what's going on?" He asked, sounding like I have been pulling some shit for the past hour.

"Excuse me?"

"Craig, what is all of this? You're dressed like –you're being really nice, and I mean REALLY nice." He said putting his hand in front of his defensively. "Not that it's bad, but why me?"

I opened my mouth to answer him like I had the last time this question came up, but he cut me off.

"Yeah, I know. You like me. I like you too. But what is it about me that –Why me?"He asked. He had a slight smile on his face, which was something I liked about him. Hell, I like everything about him, but I really appreciated how he asked such an awkward question without sounding dramatic, but instead, curious. It took a load off of pressure I was feeling when formulating an answer.

"I just like you, dude. You're really cool." I said, which was lame and I knew it. He wanted something beyond that and my answer would have passed with any other idiot in South Park, but no, I had fall in love with the one genius that lived here.

"I know. You said so already. But what's with the sudden...closeness? Craig, you can't tell me you haven't made some noticeable changes about yourself in the past week." He said, not really sounding like he had me all figured out, but as if he was hoping that I did.

And I did. I just couldn't tell him.

"I- I don't know." I stuttered and shrugged.

"I've never had a person pay so much attention to me. So you can understand why I'm a little sceptical. I would have never expected it to be you." He said casually and uncurled his body so he was laying down with his hands on the back of his head.

It's not like I expected loving you so much either, sexy bastard. Do you think I had planned this to happen? That my simple crush on Kyle Broflovski would become such deep adoration one day and lead me to melt under his slightest touch, become lost for breath whenever he smiled and practically trip out every time I got a whiff of his delicious scent.

And now there he was. Laying in front of me. A situation I had believed never to find myself in, but here I was. His shirt had ridden up again, and I thought that maybe it was a size too small. His stomach was exposed and thanks to his low riding jeans, so was the hem of his underpants and – I gulped –a trail of thin brown hair leading downwards. His hipbones stuck out and would rise and fall slightly every time he took a breath, along with the small glimpse I had of his flat, but toned torso.

I watched as he licked his lips and bit down on the side of it, flashing me an embarrassed smile. I had to stop him, for his own safety.

"Uh-um, Kyle, it's just because you're a really great person." I muttered, losing my cool and becoming dangerously hungrier and hungrier for him.

My redhead sat up, supporting himself with his hands. He looked at me and arched a brow, amused and unimpressed. He snorted and lay back down.

"Wow Craig. I never knew I had such an effect on you." He teased me with his sarcasm. "If you're gonna lie, come up with something a little more subtle dude."

Last. Fucking. Straw.


	6. Cookie Dough

**Cookie Dough**

Chapter 6

By, the Unlucky-Charm

Last. Fucking. Straw...

...

..

.

"Subtle..." The words left my mouth in a dangerous whisper that cut through the room.

In a swift movement that wouldn't usually go with a personality like mine, my leg swung over his body, pulling my pelvis along to cradle his hips. Pushing away the amazement in my own actions, I decided to take advantage of the involuntary movements my body had decided to make. There was an uncontrollable flame that had lit up and it was about to reduce me to ashes if I contained it any longer.

I narrowed my eyes at him, sneered and scraped my teeth against each other.

"C-Craig, what are you...?"

"Do you even know what you DO to me?" I asked him. My voice came out as a growl; not one of an angry man, but of an animal.

I couldn't get myself to look away or even blink; missing a millisecond of that face was not an option. My eyes watered and I narrowed my eyes. I refused to acknowledge them as tears; there was no way I was crying.

"You have no idea." I spat, digging my fingers into his shoulders. He flinched but didn't break his gaze. He couldn't move, but he wasn't even trying to squirm. In fact, his body had gone completely still.

"Craig." He whimpered.

"DON'T say my name like that, man!" I begged, lowering my head, the strand of my bangs brushing gently over his chest. "Fucks me up!"

My body was shaking against his fully tensed one and I couldn't get it to stop. I felt pressure against my chest every time I breathed and I prayed to God that he couldn't feel it. What difference would it make anyway? The words that left my mouth must have freaked him out enough, I don't want him thinking I'm 100% crazy... 99 was enough already.

"Hey are you okay?" He whispered. The fear I heard in his tone ripped my heart apart, but I knew that opening my lids to see his sincere expression would surely grind the muscle into even smaller pieces.

"I'm laying on top of you, I should be absolutely ecstatic." I grumbled emotionlessly. My eyes were still shut tightly; eyelashes against the materiel of his shirt. I had to avoid those green orbs, because chances were, that if I looked up, they would be staring straight through me... like they always did.

"Am I supposed to understand why?" He asked, somehow remaining his considerate self, even if it were for the guy pinning him down at the moment.

"Well I didn't want you to, but you kind of cracked me here."

God, I sounded pathetic with my voice shaking like that. My back was starting to hurt, but damn it I had to hold on. I loosened my grip on him and ended up shifting my hands to rest along his arms on the floor. Feeling suddenly weaker, I resisted the urge to cling to him all the more; let my support fall and my chest fall on to his. Despite the fact that I had the upper hand, he had been the one all this time, who was holding me up.

He wasn't answering after that and the reality of his knowing finally filled me up with panic and fear. Similar to when I found out Tweek was hospitalized but this time, it was less urgent. At this point, I wanted nothing more than to go back in time and be able to control myself instead of attacking him like I did. It hurt like a bitch because I knew that was impossible. All these walls I had built were falling one by one and I slowly became so very disappointed in myself for having let all that work go to waste. All the blushes, the boners, the excuses for physicals contact that I did such a good job in shielding from him; all in vain. Why? Because I was kind of pinning him down to the floor at the moment.

"Hey, I don't mean I don't like having you around, I just don't get what's so special about..."

Like the monster I was about to become, I slowly raised my head up to face his for the first time. The distress had been taken over by the sudden anger that flowed inside my veins, burning through my skin and melting any other thought or emotion that dared trying to stand out at the time. I loved him. And the one thing I wouldn't stand for, is him questioning it when he doesn't even have a fucking clue. My face must have been scary because a gasp left his lips and cut his sentence short. God, he was cute. Terrified, but cute. I amazed myself how I could think so fluffily when having such a furious frown on my face.

"Kyle." I whispered dangerously. "Right now, I'm looking into your gorgeous fucking eyes and telling you that you, you sexy assed bastard, are the closest thing to perfect that this godforsaken world will ever know." I spat.

"D-don't be ridiculous. No one's perfect, okay? N-now, please –"

I didn't let him speak. My body jerked forward, bringing my face parallel to his. Our noses were 3 inches apart and oh my God, did I really feel like doing a push up. I felt the cowardly stoic bastard in me die because clearly these weren't the actions and words of such a person.

3 inches and I would be kissing Kyle. 3 inches, and I would be a new person.

"Listen Broflovski: I didn't say you were. Sure, you have exactly two flaws, although those can be brushed off as 'cute' if you ask me." I told him, at this point, just letting the words flow out without thinking twice, just like my brain intended them to.

"Flaw number one." I announced and dropped down an inch. "You don't even REALISE how goddamn amazing you actually ARE and manage to fuck up my brain without even KNOWING IT."

His face turned red and the fire in his eyes died out a little. He softened at my words, but I doubted he'd fully give in. Oh no, not my fiery redhead. Probably wracking his brain this second to find a logical explanation to my 'unnatural behaviour'.

"Flaw number two." I said and dropped down another inch. I grinned deviously at our closeness and narrowed my eyes into a smoulder. "I'm laying on top of, with our faces too close for comfort and I can bet that you still aren't getting the message. Everything in your adorable innocent mind is nice and clean isn't it?" My hot breath bounced against his mouth and back to me.

I began to slowly lower myself down. Kyle shut his eyes tightly and turned his face away from mine. I should have been hurt by that, but I wasn't planning on kissing him anyway. Tears welled up in my eyes without me realising and my lips did nothing more than glide as lightly as a feather over his cheeks and to his ear. In a broken voice, I whispered.

"I'm sorry Kyle, but my motives are anything but nice and clean."

"You did WHAT!" Tweek, with good reason, shrieked at me.

I wasn't going to repeat myself; I knew he heard. Every time I went over those events, even in my mind, a part of me felt suicidal.

"I'm sorry." I muttered and buried my head back into my knees, which have been folded against my chest for the past 20 minutes.

After my temporary insanity at Kyle's house, I simply stood up and walked out. The previous events were almost as unreal as a dream to me, as if they had never really happened. I walked home and once in my room, that's where I broke down. The confident grinning disappeared when I realised what the fuck I had just done. I guess something inside me wanted me to get home before pushing me off the edge. I called Tweek over immediately and now, here he was, absolutely furious with me.

"Eat it." He ordered.

With him he had brought a whole tube of cookie dough, claiming that's what people were supposed to eat when they were upset. I lowered my eyes and obeyed, taking a huge bite out of the raw pastry.

"I didn't mean to attack him like that." I said. "He just...provoked me."

I couldn't believe I was actually explaining myself Tweek Tweak. God, I have a come a long way since a few weeks ago; I have these 'feelings' now.

His eyes twitched as he blinked at me for a few seconds before slowly shaking his head.

"Wait, what?" He asked. "Craig, I'm proud of you for making that move."

"Wait, what?" How could he be proud? "Then why are you pissed?" I glanced at the cookie dough in my hand. "And why do I have to eat this?"

"I'm pissed BECAUSE you, my dear idiot, failed to tell him how you really felt even after pulling all that shit!" He paused and pointed at the pastry. I stuffed another piece of cake into my mouth. "After practically dry humping him to the floor, couldn't you just add, 'oh, by the way, I fucking LOVE you'?"

"I didn't dry hump him." I whispered in my defence.

"Oh SORRY." He said sarcastically.

"Tweek, what was I supposed to do?"

"Not running off would have been a good start, don't you think?" He was clearly not going to get over this any time soon.

Tweek would get angry and yell at soap opera characters knowing they couldn't hear him, so he was twice as enraged now since I actually COULD hear him.

He sighed. "Ngh –I understand how what he said bothered you, but you can't expect him to just get how you feel. Communication; that's what you need." He softened, but there was still a sternness in his tone. I knew he'd help me fix it (that's why I called him over), but if I messed up again, I was dead.

"Tweek, I can't just go from quiet asshole to fucking Romeo confessing his love for that other stupid bitch." He opened his mouth but I held my hand up. "I know it doesn't seem hard to you, but making such a big step is not easy for me."

Tweek giggled and shook his head at me. He sat down on my bed and began running his hand behind my back.

"I disagree. I think you can." He said and lay his head on my shoulder.

"How come?" I humoured him.

"Sorry Craig, but my motives are anything but nice and clean." I felt his hot breath against he side of my face as his husky voice invaded my ears...you know, as husky as Tweek's voice could get.

"Shut up!" I pushed his now laughing face away and pouted like a child. "I was horny okay?"

"Of course you were, you were dry humping him." He said as a matter of factly, topped with a snobbish flip of his hair.

"I wasn't dry humping him!" I shouted. No, seriously, I wasn't.

"Whatever. Question is, what's your next move?"

"Avoid him for the rest of my life, wait for him to develop Alzheimer disease and then seduce him once he doesn't remember me." I buried my face into my palms because that truly was going to end up being my only option.

"Good luck with that since he's coming over here on Thursday."

Thursday...?

"Why would he... –Oh shit! No! He can't!" This sudden realisation hit me hard and I began to worry. "AGH! Tweek what do I do?" I slammed my knuckles on my thighs.

"I told you a BILLION times! TALK. TO. HIM. " He grabbed my shoulders and began to shake me. "Kyle is not just a piece of meat! He's a SEXY and very SMART piece of meat! You of all people should know that! You're best option is to use some fucking WORDS!" He stopped and looked straight at me as if he were contemplating something. "Should I slap you? Like, it'll make all this look much more dramatic. Oh! Like in that movie –"

"No."

"Fuck you."

I pulled away from him and checked the digital clock on my bedside table. It was almost ten o'clock and an overwhelming anxiety gripped my chest. In less than 12 hours, I would be at school and then another 24 hours later, it would be Thursday, meaning a full day with Kyle alone. For once, I was not looking forward to that.

Don't get me wrong, I was dying to see him again, but that was only the curious side of me who wanted to see his reaction. The regular emotionless side wanted to stay home. How could I face him after that?

I went over what happened for the thousandth time and I grunted for the millionth. His face was inches from mine, our gazes melting together and our breaths brushing against our faces. My hand roamed upwards and hovered over my mouth, unconsciously letting my fingertips brush against my dry lips. They had touched Kyle's cheek, barely, but it still counts. His skin was soft as expected and he smelled absolutely delicious. Could that count as butterfly kisses? I don't really care because, call it what you want, it wasn't enough for me. I needed to taste him.

I grunted again as the scene continued to play out and the Craig in my head ruined the moment by being a verbal pervert and raping Kyle's ears. On top of it all, it was a lie. Not all my motives were as dirty as a I told him. I've fantasized so much about simply kissing him, holding him and taking in his scent I swear I could secretly be a teenage girl. I have so much to tell, so many things I've gone over so that they would be perfect, but I never thought I would ever have the chance to tell him. However, when the chance miraculously appears in front of me, I mess it up and dry hump him to the ground! (I swear I didn't though).

"Hey Stan!" I heard the person by me say. My self implied guilt trip would have to take a rain check. Tweek was on the phone and I had to listen in, especially since the person on the other end was a certain redhead's best friend.

"I'm fine. Um, I just wanted to know if you'd like to do something tomorrow? Like coffee?" He stopped and began to nod. "Mmhmm, yeah sure, after school." He paused again. "Wherever. Alright then, see ya'." He folded his fingers and pushed the phone shut.

"Tweek, what the fuck?" He better have a good enough excuse for what he just did.

"Killed two birds with one stone." He shrugged. "Now we know that Kyle didn't tell Stan about what a douche you were and now I have a date." He giggled and twirled a strand of blonde around his finger.

"Wait, like a date, date?" I asked, getting this question out of the way before I bombarded him with more.

"No dude, I can't really do that now can I? He's fucking Stan Marsh." He scattered his thin arms and rolled his eyes as if I was Mr. Obvious.

I wanted to tell Tweek to stop talking about the guy as if he was a celebrity, but those would be the words of a hypocrite who believed Kyle Broflovski was a God.

Tweek ran a few fingers through my hair, fixing it up from the gazillion times I stuffed my head into my palms in frustration.

"I'll get some shit out of him." He reassured me. "He's bound to spill."

We got to school late because I had forgotten to make Tweek his coffee in the morning and the twitchy asshole absolutely refused to leave my house with an empty thermos. I didn't mind because going to school was something I was truly dreading and being late just meant less time having to desperately avoid Kyle. As much as Tweek thought it was the stupidest way to approach the problem, I had decided that that would be the safest way to go and other than that, I had taken other precautions as well. For instance, I was wearing very dark and boring clothes today so I could hide in a crowd. This idea was stupid because not only were there not enough students attending the damn school for a crowd to actually form, but I seriously looked like a Goth kid, which bothered me more than the previous reason.

Tweek had sensed my dread and had comforted me, reminding me that I had no classes with him and that it would just be like a month ago when we never spoke. All I had to do was not stare at him or search for him in the hallways. My one and only fear was that HE would confront me himself. In that case, there really is no running away, but other than that I didn't know what the fuck else to do if the situation arose.

"You'll be fine." Tweek kept repeated on the walk to school. Of course, he was much more mellow now that he had his coffee.

And he was right. I was fine. I went through the boring day like boring old Craig Tucker. Absolutely nothing happened and the only thing even remotely close to Kyle that I saw was Eric Cartman and he's kind of hard to miss in the first place. So like I said, I went through the day without my daily dose of Kyle. I felt like Tweek without coffee and right before the last break ended, my eyes had wandered off around the room on their own, searching for anything of a dark fiery orange color or green, in case he was wearing his hat.

"Stan kept looking at me." A voice which belonged to Tweek randomly announced from behind me. My eyes immediately began to dart around the corridor; Stan meant Kyle right? But once I realised what I was doing, I stopped myself, even though it was too late to cover up because Tweek was smirking at me with an amused look on his face.

"I meant in class." He added. "They're not here now."

"Yeah, yeah I know." I grunted and ran my fingers through my hair.

"You don't seem to."

I sighed. "Why was he staring at you?" I humoured him, because honestly, I couldn't care less.

"How should I know!"

"Do you like him?" I asked without looking at him because my gaze was busy scanning my surroundings for you know who again.

"No! But I'd like to think he likes me." Tweek settled his index finger on his chin as if he was seriously considering the thought.

"No way Tweek, I mean seriously, he's fucking STAN MARSH." I mimicked his blonde gossip girl voice, which he did not enjoy at all.

"Shut the fuck up! I do NOT sound like that!" He whined and hit me over the head with his notebook.

"No, I just suck at impressions, but you WOULD say something like that, though." I said in my defence, to which Tweek rolled his eyes.

"Well OBVIOUSLY I would, Craig! He's Stan Marsh!"

This kid was unbelievable. I wondered if he actually realised that Stan Marsh was as dumb as shit and was only good for throwing and catching balls? I wondered how Tweek would react (or if he would react at all) if I told him I had more respect for him than fucking 'Stan Marsh'.

The bell rang and we were back into our classes and then, before I knew it, the day was over, leaving me to escort an excited Tweek home to prepare. Sometimes moments like these made me realise what huge low lives me and Tweek are. We never go out much; just hang around together really. Whenever we chilled with other people it would either be a coincidence, because we were madly in love with the person or if that person happened to be 'fucking STAN MARSH'. And in case you are wondering, no I am NOT letting the Stan Marsh thing go. Ever. It is absolutely ridiculous and I will abuse it's stupidity for my amusement for as long as I can.

"Van Gogh." Tweek said right before turning the curb that lead to his street.

"What the fuck about him?"

"You have a project." He said, his big green eyes watching me, waiting for a reaction.

"Shit..." I hissed and that made him laugh his little ass off. The jackass.

This time, it was both my hands that made a grab for my hair, pushing my hat backwards on my head. I had completely forgotten about that thing and who my partner was. Well obviously it was Kyle Broflovski or else I wouldn't be on the verge of a meltdown right now.

"Anyway, see ya'" Tweek called from his doorstep. I hadn't even see him walk up the stairs.

"You're just leaving me here?" I called back, although it was more of a joke. He was enjoying my misery, I could tell.

"Yep! Wish me luck!"

"Screw you! I'm the one in need of fucking luck!"

With a devious giggle and a wave, he stepped in and shut the door behind him. Motherfucking Stan Marsh had no idea what he was getting into.

On the way home, I was alone, which was a green light for my mind to wander, by consequence leading to some ideas I shouldn't be having. During the fucking fine evening, Tweek would be with Stan, meaning he wouldn't be with me, meaning I will have no one to keep me from doing something stupid. I could see it happening; me pacing around the room stressfully, eyeing my phone, giving in and calling Kyle. I don't know what I would tell him though, even in my fantasy, I was completely speechless.

So instead of torturing myself with semi possible hypothetical situations, I began to make a list of things to do once I got home in order to keep my mind busy, off of you know who and you know what that happened between us.

First off, I'll cook, then I'll do my homework, I'll feed Stripe, I'll take a nap and by then, Tweek would be home so I could call him.

The first part of my plan went fine. I cooked for Ruby and my parents even got home early. We ate together at the table, something we hadn't done in a while.

"It's delicious, Craig." My mom complemented followed by a grunt of approval from my father. Might as well enjoy it because that was the only approval I'd be getting from the likes of him.

We didn't say much else to each other, which was normal on a table full of Tuckers.

"How was that tutor of yours by the way?" My mom asked, pointing her fork at Ruby as she swallowed. Kyle had been over about a week ago, but we hadn't been able to talk about it since then. We don't really tell each other much in this family.

"He's perfect mom." Ruby crooned and swayed in her seat. "He's amazing." I was going to punch her.

"That Kyle is in your class boy?" My dad asked after glancing at Ruby in disgust.

"Yeah..." I muttered. "You know the guy is super smart. I mean, if Ruby is having trouble with anything else maybe he should come here more often, you know?" I said as casually as I could, which was already hard because the simple fact of me even talking came off as odd.

My sister's face lit up in a mix of joy and surprise at my suggestion. Once again, the bitch had mistaken my intentions. I was NOT being nice to her.

"Wow Craig. This is the second time you say something like that." My mother said suspiciously and arched an eyebrow. She was on to me, but confiding in her was out of the question. Wait, was this actually the second time I was saying something like this? Sure, it wasn't the first time I said Kyle was smart but was I making that obvious? Or maybe my mom has this weird ass intuition... If not, she definitely will if I keep staring into the emptiness like this.

"He's smart, I'm just saying."

For the rest of the meal, she didn't stop watching me. I could almost feel her motherly instincts analysing me. Fuck, I shouldn't have spoken.

After dinner, I volunteered to do the dishes which was another wrong move on my part. I hated doing the dishes, my mother knew that, but I insisted anyway. Mindless disgusting tasks numbed out the mind and right now, emptying my head of all though was my top priority. Unfortunately, I was now faced with new problem.

"Is Kyle your friend?" She was a Tucker. She didn't even bother being subtle. See, when the rest of the family left for their respective rooms, she stayed behind with me. "Does he actually like you?" Yep, that's my mom; as straightforward as ever.

"I guess... we hang out sometimes." I answered. "He's a nice guy, you know. He's not a complete douche, is what I mean. He likes me for some reason but I don't know why. I've literally asked him but he's just as puzzled as I am as of why I like him. He thinks it's weird because I don't really like anyone or bother trying to. I messed up recently though, I should probably apologize to him since –"

"SINCE," She cut me off. "you really seem to like this boy."

I was thankful she didn't let me go on since I definitely would have and ended up revealing more than needed but damn it, my mom was easy to talk to and that's kind of what I needed at the moment! It's not like I announced my love for him, I haven't even come out to my parents yet. No harm in just claiming I like him, right?

"Yeah, he's cool." I muttered, drowning my voice with a plastic cup I intentionally dropped to the floor 'by accident'. "Oops."

I bent down to get it, but a hand beat mine and picked it up.

"Craig honey, why don't you go do your homework, okay?" Damn it, she knew. Her voice said it all. It was patronizing and slow, making me look like a crazy person.

"Alright mom." I obeyed because if I didn't, I would just have to talk to her more and my mouth seemed to be having its fun tonight.

I went upstairs and the second I stepped into my room, I instantly knew that homework was one thing left untouched tonight. However, I did feed Stripe, even though that took me a minute to do even though I had made it a point to walk really slowly when fetching his snacks.

After having given my school bag one last considering look before giving up completely, I simply stuffed in my earphones and began listening to whatever popped up on shuffle mode. From upbeat to downright depressing; I listened to it all until Kyle decided to make his way into my mind. I mean, seriously, it's been like exactly 10 minutes I haven't thought of him. We can't have that now can we? Hell no. The superior forces of the universe enjoyed seeing me suffer with these thoughts, they were just on a coffee break. Alright forces, bring it on.

And there he was. Kyle Broflovski. In my head, being his adorable smiling self. To think that right now, he was somewhere in this tiny town doing God knows what. If I were in any other town, I wouldn't be thinking this, but seeing as South Park can fit into my palm, it just made him seem all the closer to me. Not to mention that, barely two blocks away, Tweek was having coffee with the great and amazing Stan Marsh and possibly talking about Kyle or maybe even me. Maybe even Kyle AND me! I hope they're not, that would seriously creepy. I flipped that thought off and realized I hadn't done that in a while. You know, the flipping people the bird thing. It felt good, as if I had regained some kind of important part of my identity. Like an ex-smoker having a nice cigarette.

Since I had rejected the idea of Marsh and Tweek talking about us, my mind shifted to just...us, instead. My brain was playing the 'what would you do' game with me, where scenarios would rush around with images of the both of us in situations with the same question being asked from deep in my subconscious: what would you do if...

What would I do if Kyle was here now. If he were laying down on my bed with his head in my lap. He would be tired after a long day at school and so would I, although I know for a fact that Kyle gets tired really easily. His eyes would be fluttering shut, but he'd fight them because I was watching him and he didn't want me to see him asleep. I would run my fingers through his hair, something I always wanted to do and then I would whisper to him, telling him to go to sleep because he was clearly exhausted. He'd give up eventually and snuggle up against my leg and then I'd just look at him all night. Best part is, I know I would. I wouldn't take my eyes off him for as long as he was there. I mean, how could you look away from something so beautiful and peaceful. It's so frustrating because he would be there, next to me. I wouldn't know what to do; whether or not to keep it chaste or just attack him. I want both but I don't know how to make that work!

God, Kyle! AGH! I swear, if only this boy KNEW what he did to me, maybe he would understand why I tackled him the other day. Maybe he'd understand why I had chosen him over everyone else on this fucking planet and maybe he'd understand why there will always be this nervousness in me, along with a blush on my cheeks when he was around. He fucked me up. He made me soft. He literally BROKE everything Craig Tucker was and rebuilt it into...THIS. I don't even know what THIS is! I love him. And if that's what 'this' is, so be it. I love Kyle Broflovski and I haven't denied it before, I won't start denying it now. I love Kyle and I will use it against him if he ever questions me ever again. All I need, is an opportunity.

My phone rang.

"Yes?" I grunted.

"Craig! Agh –It's me!"

It was Tweek and he was making his weird noises, meaning something was up. He was whispering into the phone in a frantic tone.

"Tweek, what the hell? Where are you?"

"In the bathroom. I finally got away from them!"

I snorted. "Oh, so you're not enjoying your date with the fabulous Stanley Marsh? Well then, didn't I tell you –Wait, them who?" He said them right? Right?

"Kyle's here you fucking faggot! Stan thought you were coming too!" He almost fucking yelled into the phone. I could just see him now, alone in the bathroom, clutching the device in both hands and twitching all over the place.

"What the hell am I supposed to do?" I asked. It wasn't really that late, but it was pitch dark outside.

"Get your ass over here!"

"Tweek, won't that look just a little suspicious?"

"Who gives a fuck! The guy came for you, it's obvious!" His voice, I could tell, had gone into gossip mode. "You should've seen him Craig! He was SO disappointed when I told him you wouldn't be joining us! So cute!"

He rambled on about some other shit concerning Marsh that I didn't really care about. I had heard what I needed to hear, but question was, how much of it should I believe? Was he actually disappointed? I couldn't help the smile that spread on my lips, but I let it happen; no one could see me, anyway. From the other end of the phone, I heard a door creek.

"Oh my God!" Tweek gasped. "He's leaving!"

"Who?"

"Kyle! I'm spying on them from the bathroom! Fuck you Craig, you better make a move RIGHT now! I'm brining myself to a new low for you and I REFUSE to be called a stalker in vain!"

Tweek was scolding me through the phone, but I couldn't care less. What was important, was that he was right. My heart began to race and I suddenly felt pumped up. I wanted to run and that's what I'd do. It was 8 and there's no way Kyle would actually go someplace else at this hour. He was definitely headed home. With Tweek's voice still spewing out words into my ears, I grabbed my hat and jacket, manoeuvring my body awkwardly to put them on without the phone falling.

"Bye Tweek." I said and shut the phone in the middle of one of his sentences.

I stuffed the device into my pocket and spun in a circle, checking if I had forgotten anything else. Damn it, I should have cooked something! How the fuck was I supposed to know this was going to happen! I rushed downstairs with the hopes of a box of cookies having been left untouched. No such luck. I looked in all the cupboards and the I raided the fridge as well, still nothing. Maybe I could get something on the way, but fuck I didn't have much time! I had to get there before he did and... –I'm a genius.

The tube was cold in my hands but that was the only cool part of my body. I felt like I was burning with adrenaline as I pounced out the door and began running over the ice covered sidewalk. I ran fast but carefully in order not to slip and fall. My mind had gone blank and the only thing remaining was a) running and b) my destination. It was only when I slowed down in front of the Broflovski household did the thought explode and take over. Holy shit, I was going to see Kyle.

He would be getting home soon, so how will he react when he sees me on his doorstep? It's not like this happens every day! He might even think I'm some kind of freak, or maybe he already does and this 'romantic' act of mine will just confirm his hunches. I'm going to have to keep a distance too because if he even brushes by me, I'll probably die or worse, jump him again. The memory of the other day had followed me like a cloud of guilt, but now I felt like it was being replaced by the compressing feeling in my gut. I felt like my insides were huddling together in my stomach, making me nauseated and dizzy. My heart was going crazy and all I wanted to do was glance down the street to see if he was coming. I didn't though. I turned my back to the sidewalk and watched his house. Judging by what I had in my hands and the way I was just standing, the neighbours would surely think I was insane. I wish Kyle would get here...I'm freezing.

"What the hell are you holding?" Shit. That's his voice. Shit. Where the fuck is mine?

He couldn't see my face, but my mouth dropped open and the words were nowhere to be found. I made some small noises, but I wasn't sure if he heard them. My lips moved on their own until finally, some meaningful noise came out. I swear, my vocal chords are like an old lawn mower; they take some time to start up.

"Cookie dough." I stated.

"Why?" I turned around.

I couldn't read the expression on his face, but I can tell you it wasn't fear. His shoulders were slumped and he was shivering. His hands were in his pockets, despite them being gloved, it didn't seem to be keeping him warm. His cheeks were reddened by the cold and his teeth were chattering behind his dried lips. Unconsciously, my tongue ran over my own and he barely frowned. Okay, so if he decided to be scared now, I would totally understand. Two seconds into this act of 'romance' and I was already being a pervert thinking of eating him up.

"You want some?" I offered, tilting the tube towards him. He shrugged and walked over.

The only light was the one coming from the street lamps and it gave his skin some kind of glow. As he walked to me, his last step was hesitant but brought him closer than necessary . One more step, and the dough would be squashed between our chests. An image of me eating cookie dough off of him flashed through my mind, but I pushed it away before it got clearer and in consequence, made me lose control.

His features were clearer now, except for my favourite part. His eyes were lowered to the ground and kept shifting from left to right, as if he was following a bug on the floor. He chewed at his lip and seemed to be breathing deeply. His breaths got faster and faster and then just stopped before going back to normal. His eyes darted upwards and stared straight into mine. They were gorgeous and made me turn to jell-o. My lips parted the smallest bit, in awe. Why was he so perfect, it wasn't fair to the rest of the world. It's as if God gave him everything good and made the rest of us with leftovers. That bastard...

"Aaaah."

Just when I thought I had made a daring move coming to his house with cookie dough, the unexpected happens, kicking me hard in the balls once again. Kyle had leaned into me, now an inch away from my face, with his mouth wide open. I swallowed hard and curse my tights pants. At this point, I was almost certain he was doing this on purpose. His pink tongue was exposed, along with his perfect teeth. I fought the urge to stuff something else in there other than the pastry.

I pulled a piece of dough from the side with my trembling bare fingers and then slowly popped it into his mouth, making sure that I did not come in contact with anything that would...provoke me.

When I pulled my hand away, I watched as he shut his mouth and began swirling the piece around in his mouth, letting it melt. My lips had parted all on their own now and my eyes had gone dry from the lack of blinking. When he licked his lips, I went completely still and swallowed loudly, my steady gaze still stuck on him like glue. I saw him frown and I saw him narrow his eyes at me, but I didn't care. I mean, there was really no use hiding much anymore. Everything was practically out in the open, but oh my God did I want to kiss him right now. I could if I wanted to. No one was around and it was dark, it would be perfect. Unfortunately, that's not what I had come here for.

"I need to talk to you." I blurted.

"Yeah, I figured." He said and walked by me to sit on the stairs of his porch. He patted the space next to him, so that's where I sat with our thighs and shoulders touching. My knee began to bob up and down and my fingers intertwined and fiddled with each other. "Craig." He said and I froze. His hand was on my knee and the other was on both of mine. He hated when I did that and he knew it was only when I was nervous. It would have been so much easier for me if he just guessed what all of this was about; if he just figured it out. That would have been perfect. Less words from my end, meaning less stress. "Relax." He ordered strictly and then pulled away. I could tell he wasn't really happy about this and I could also tell that he was expecting more than I had to give. He was going to need some pretty good excuses. He frowned once more and crossed his arms over his chest.

"Just spit it out."


	7. Kosher

**Kosher**

Chapter 7

By, the Unlucky-Charm

**A/N: God, I am so sorry. It's been forever since I updated this story =( Well, I've been kind of avoiding it seeing as I had NO clue where it was going. Fuck. Luckily, I have a few ideas, so it's all back on track. And a big thanks to all my readers and reviewers, you guys are full of awesomesauce! **

"Just spit it out." He told me, but how could I? This wasn't really an easy thing to do, especially since the person in front of me clearly didn't give a fuck about what I had to say. If I were in his shoes, I wouldn't either after the stunt I pulled the other night.

"You won't believe me." I said, the coldness in my voice returning. I swear, I was starting to believe that it was becoming some kind of defence mechanism. My vocal cords would go dry and I'd talk as if my nose was clogged. At this point it was fruitless covering up me emotions. Kyle wasn't dumb...sadly.

"Try me."

"I'd rather not."

"Craig." Kyle said sternly. "Come on, dude."

"You really don't know." I asked, but it came out more like a statement.

"Know what?"

"You really don't know what's going on here?" I asked this time. He was playing dumb, the bastard. He wanted me to say it. He needed to hear it.

"I have an idea, but I just want to be sure." He said, his voice almost unnoticeably going up a pitch.

"Try me." I teased and smirked at him.

There was a silence that stretched on where nobody said anything. He sighed and then I did. He glanced at me and I glanced back.

He knew that I knew that he knew that I knew that he knew...that was the mental game we were playing at the moment. One was waiting for the other to give in and say it, but there was a risk and neither of them was willing to take it. What if they were wrong? That's what they were both worried about. What if Kyle was assuming something completely different? And I had a feeling Kyle was thinking the same thing.

"I'm freezing." Kyle said out of nowhere.

"Then go inside."

"Are you cold?"

"Yep."

"Would you like to come in?"

"...okay."

As expected, Kyle's house was extremely warm compared to the temperature outside. I figured that his family had the money to turn up the heat to a million degrees, so why not? When you're living in frozen town like South Park, people do anything to keep warm.

"Are you hungry?" He asked.

"No."

"Well I am." He said as he pulled off his jacket and threw onto a chair in the kitchen. I did the same.

"You just had cookie dough." I argued.

"So?"

Meh, good enough for me.

My mind couldn't help but think of the word 'cute' when he kept his hat on despite how much of an oven his house was starting to feel to me. I thought of keeping mine on too but the sweat had already started accumulating and dampening my hair. When I walked into the kitchen, he was already seated at the table, his chin resting on his laced fingers. He stared me down without even trying to be discrete about it. I suddenly felt like I was being judged so I flipped my hair to the side. Luckily, he seemed to approve.

"Weren't you hungry?"

He slowly raised his fierce green eyes to me and batted his eyelashes like the little tease he was. His delicious looking lips stretched into this fake-ass innocent Kenny McCormick Cheshire cat grin, curving his eyes into half moons.

Taken aback, both my brows shot up but then I was able to compose myself again. A crooked smile appeared on my face, as a sort of response to this taunting act of his.

"Want me to make you something?"

His smile widened and he slightly nodded.

"Okay jewboy, I'll make you a kosher sandwich." I said and went over the fridge to examine what these people had for me to work with.

Kyle rotated on his chair to follow me with his eyes. I couldn't see him since I had my back turned to him, but I could feel his gaze burning behind me. Scared to turn around and make agonizingly awkward eye contact with him, I concentrated on the contents of the fridge.

"I would have reproached you for calling me jewboy, but everything in my fridge IS kosher so..."

I chuckled. He was right. I didn't know ANY of these brands. Hesitantly, I grabbed some ham, cheese and bread; I left the veggies for later because I wasn't sure what he liked. And so, I got to work.

Once the first cutting sounds of knife against cutting board were made, Kyle began to speak again.

"So, what is it you had to tell me?" He asked. I glanced back and saw that he was sitting backwards, his legs parted on both sides of the back of the chair. Suddenly, I really wanted to become a back of a chair.

"I'm not sure." I answered.

"You forgot?"

"No, I just don't know how to say it." I paused. "I kind of just came here on a whim."

"I see..." He mumbled.

"You want me to toast this?" I asked, pointing at the piece of bread with cheese on it.

"Yes, please. Oh and I'd like lettuce and tomatoes only. With mayo."

"Got it."

I stuffed the bread in the toaster and went for the rest of the ingredients in the fridge. I picked up a sharp knife and began chopping neatly.

"Give me hints then." Kyle insisted. "Like twenty questions...only without the questions."

I chuckled again and so did he.

"Alright then." I paused to think of twenty things I could say without lying and at the same time, avoid making the answer seem obvious. "Okay, it's about you and me."

"Oh is that so? I had no idea." He said sarcastically.

"Okay, it's something that will embarrass me and make you feel uncomfortable." I said casually, as if I wasn't on the verge of revealing my biggest secret.

I went up to the toaster oven 2 seconds before it dinged and turned it off. With the tip of my fingers, I removed the piece of bread and slid it onto the counter in order to burn myself the least possible.

"Uuuuuuum, it's something that's been on my mind a lot for the past year."

These were all true, but none of them gave him a direct answer. I wondered how long I would be able to keep this up. I started setting the vegetables over the melted cheese and then went to grab the mayo.

"Come on, Craig. You've gotta give me a little more than that." Kyle whined.

"Mayo?"

"No! Information." Kyle complained, half in outrage and half laughing.

I laughed and winked at him. "Okay..." I took a silent deep breath and handed him the sandwich I had jut finished. I sat next to him and began to gather my courage for the next bit I was about to reveal. His eyes were staring at me intently, so I had to hurry.

"This will prove to you that I have emotions. No matter how rock hard I look; I can feel." I said in a single breath.

Kyle was staring at me like he was worried. His eyes were round and his lips were pressed together. Did I say too much? He glanced at his sandwich and smiled. He pushed the plate toward me.

"You can have it." He said.

"I thought you said you were hungry." I said, only slightly pissed off because I was extra careful while making it.

"I'm not." He smiled and blushed, resting his head in his palm . "It's just that you talk more easily when you're cooking."

I blinked at him and then looked down at the sandwich. Was that true? I guess I kind of was talking more when I was making the sandwich, but that's not really cooking, is it.

"This isn't really cooking." I said, because well... I didn't know what else to say.

Kyle sighed and rolled his eyes. "Okay, fine. You talk more when you're working with food. Better? I couldn't really ask you to actually cook for me, Craig."

"But I would have."

There was a silence where I was expecting him to contradict me, but he didn't. He didn't ask me anything and I think that was the second he knew for sure. He wasn't looking at me, but I could tell by his expression that he was thinking really hard about what I had just said. We were playing the game again. The game where we're both silent and whoever gives in and blurts it out first is the loser. Only thing is that I'm as much of a coward as Kyle is hard headed and I KNEW this conversation was not going anywhere unless I sucked it up and spilled. But I didn't.

"We'll split it." I said and went to get the knife.

When I got up, I swear I could have seen disappointment cross his face just for a second. At the counter, I started to cut through the bread, but it felt like I was cutting through concrete. I was just so exhausted; my muscles were aching and I felt like all my insides were all messed up. I just didn't feel right. Halfway through the sandwich, I realised that my hand had just stopped and that it was taking me a questionably long time to get the job done. Kyle had even gone quiet.

"Whatch'a thinking about?"

I looked up and almost cut through my wrist.

"AGH! Holy shit, dude!"

He was standing right in front of me, his arms crossed over his chest. When the hell did he get there? Only then did I notice how see-through his white V-neck shirt was. The kitchen light was shining against his chest this time, instead of his back like when we were sitting down. I shuddered at the hint of pink nipples, abdomen muscles you wouldn't think he would have and a hip line that made my mouth water.

"How long have you been standing there?" I asked.

"Just a few seconds before your hand stopped moving completely." He smirked.

"Oh..."

I put the knife on the counter before I stabbed myself or something. He sighed and picked it up and finished what I had started. We ate standing up.

"You're really good at this you know." He commented on the food (I think).

"Thanks. I like it."

I chewed slowly, my eyes every now and then wandering to lower regions of Kyle's body to gaze and his magnificent torso. Low grunts slipped out of my mouth a few times, but he didn't seem to hear anything. My gaze froze at one point and I didn't want to look away anymore.

"Crap, did I spill mayo or something?" He suddenly said, setting his sandwich aside and checking out his shirt in the exact region my eyes wouldn't unglue themselves from.

"Huh?" I barely got my eyes to snap back in time. "Oh! No, I don't think so, why?"

"You were staring, I thought –"

I almost pissed my pants at the random buzzing that came from the table. Call me an idiot, but I seriously thought it was an oversized fly or a bee or something gross like that. But no, it was just Kyle's phone and damn was I happy it saved me. Any longer and I would have turned beet red trying to find an valid explanation.

"Hey Stan. Oh! Sorry, Tweek, hi." He quickly corrected himself and started pacing around the room.

I practically chocked on my food and started coughing up pieces of sandwich into my mouth. I frowned at Kyle, but he only met my look with a shrug, meaning he had no idea why that twitchy fuck was calling him on fucking Stan's phone.

"Speaker." I mouthed to him.

Kyle nodded and stared at me for a while before Tweek's squeaky voice forced him back into the phone conversation they were having.

"Craig? Yeah, he's here."

I could hear the buzzing of Tweek's voice through the receiver from all the way on the other side of the room. Kyle was wearing a frown and that probably meant that he had no idea what the hell Tweek was talking about. Then again, it was probably purposeful on the blonde's part since there was a huge chance one of his schemes was behind all this.

" –yeah, so can you just ask Craig which painter he's doing so I can pick the same one." Tweek's voice resonated through the kitchen once Kyle had put him on speaker.

Painter? What was he talking about?

"Why would you choose the same one?" Kyle asked. Ah, so innocent and bright; doesn't even understand the simplest of cheating concepts.

"Duh, so I can just take his work instead of researching my ass off." He was probably twirling some spiky locks around his finger as he rolled his eyes. Yes, that's how well I knew my best friend, I could even tell which of his hand motions went with his statements.

"I see..." Kyle said, although the idea didn't seem to appeal to him much. "Well, we're doing Van Gogh." He answered, emphasizing the 'we'.

They spoke a little while longer about useless things and then finally hung up. Sure, I knew what the bastard did. This phone call of his had two motives. Number one, he needed to know if I went to meet up with Kyle, which I did so I am hoping for props. Number two, it was a reminder for the project so that we can meet up some time. I wasn't sure if I should be thanking Tweek, or bitching at him for interfering.

"We should seriously start on that thing." Kyle said.

And there it was.

"You wanna come over?" I asked. "You're tutoring Ruby on Thursday anyway, maybe we could do it then."

"Nah, how about Friday." He said immediately after I just finished my sentence, completely brushing off my Thursday proposal.

"Sure, I don't mind, dude."

I really didn't. This only meant that I got to see Kyle on a Friday, which has never happened before, AND he got to go home with me two days in a row. If I had the capacity of showing feeling, I'd be smiling and jumping for joy. Unfortunately, I didn't, so I blinked.

We were silent after that. I was basking in the glory of having many servings of Kyle this week and I really hope he was doing the same. Although, he didn't look very excited. He looked nervous and was running his hand over the wooden back of the kitchen chair he was sitting on earlier.

"Hey..." He said, barely audibly.

"Yeah?"

"Why didn't you come to the coffee place today?" He asked me, his eyes concentrated on the chair. He sounded disappointed and afraid. I wanted to smile and just hug him, but that would be weird. "I –I mean, I know it would have been awkward and stuff, but...still." He was practically whimpering the words. Did he WANT me to attack him?

I decided to break the awkward barrier and make him look at me instead of trying to straighten the already straightened chair. I walked up behind him and grabbed his shoulders, pressing my thumbs into the crevasse between his shoulder blades.

"Ah!" He yelped and twirled around to face me, only to back up right after when he realised how close I was actually standing.

I chuckled. "Relax. Tweek had told me that he and Marsh were going to the coffee house. No mention of you, so I didn't go." Shit, that sounded bad. Shit, shit, shit. As nonchalantly as I said it, there is no way he could miss that.

A devious smile grew on his lips as he put his hands behind his back and began rocking back and forth of his heels. Kyle stared with hooded, teasing eyes. I gulped.

"So...I'm the only reason you'd want to go?" He asked.

"W-well..." I was stuttering. "If you put it like that, it sounds real cute Kyle." I said as professionally as I could keep it.

"And I don't think you mind very much." Kyle replied and then his eyes popped open as his teeth went down on his lower lips. He hadn't meant to say that.

I wanted to smile, but instead my eyes had widened too. With my huge cow eyes, I smiled and his and snorted out and unpleasant laugh. "What makes you say that?" I asked, refusing to give in. If anyone here was going to feel uncomfortable, it would be him.

"N-no reason." He mumbled and turned away from me again. "Craig, I'm tired."

"What the hell do you want me to do?"

He shot me a dirty look and rolled his eyes. "Go home so I can sleep?"

"As you wish." I whispered in his ear as I was passing by him to get my coat.

He stood at the door to see me off, which really was unnecessary unless he was hoping for some kind of kiss goodbye...actually, _I_ was hoping for a kiss goodbye. Either way, we were both going to be disappointed.

"Bye." I said.

"Bye."

I should have walked out now. He was probably freezing with the door open. He was in a T-shirt with his arms wrapped around himself. I was the one who was supposed to leave and wasn't, but I had a feeling the BOTH of us were waiting for something to happen. If I stalled any longer, it would look like I was calculating my moves, so before he could kick me out, I quickly wrapped my arms around him in a hug, patting his back so it would look bro-ish. We both took long breaths into each other's shoulders and then let go.

"Bye." I said again.

"See you tomorrow." He answered and shut the door behind me.

"Hello?" A very throaty voice answered.

Shit. Was he sleeping? No...that can't be.

"Shit, Tweek. Were you asleep?"

"Nggghhhh." He grunted and I heard the ruffling of sheets. Fuck he was getting up.

"No! Tweek, go back to sleep!" I demanded.

"Fuck you Craig. It's not gonna happen tonight so just say what you have to say." He bitched sleepily.

Fuck, I felt bad. The kid barely ever got any sleep, and the one night of the month he actually sleeps, I go ahead and wake him up. It's really not my fault, though. In the rare occasions during which Tweek gets some shut eyes, it's usually for less than two hours, past midnight and a very fragile slumber too. I never meant to rouse him from the single deep sleep of his life, but too late for that I guess,

"Tweek, I'm sorry."

"Whatever. Having shitty dream 'nyway."

"Right. Sorry." I paused. "So guess who's coming home with me tomorrow?" I asked, trying to sound more excited than sorry.

"Kyle?"

"And the day after that?"

"Kyle?"

"You got it, kid."

"You're welcome." Tweek sighed and yawned at the same time. "I'm gonna make myself some coffee."

"Oh hell no, Tweek. You get back to bed and lay there!"

"Shut up, Craig. It's because of me your night turned out to be amazing."

I sighed and thanked him, only because I knew I wasn't going to hear the end of it. I began telling him about our conversation outside and then what happened inside. Tweek did not say a word during the whole story, except for a snort when I was making Kyle the sandwich.

"He knows too much." Tweek informed me, but actually just pointed out the obvious.

"No shit."

"So...what are you gonna do now?" It was taking him long to articulate each word and I felt like I was talking to some douche on drugs.

"We'll see. Maybe I'll make him something to eat and –"

"So...what? You're his chef now?" Tweek laughed on the other line. "Why don't you just feed him your dick and get it over with."

Okay, note to self; waking up Tweek results in him being super bitchy.

I stayed silent, waiting for him to calm down and realise how mean he was being. Tweek hated being mean and apologized thoroughly when he was. As expected, I heard a sigh and a grunt.

"Sorry babe, do you..." He yawned. "Do you think it's because he wants to spend more time with you?"

"Yeah, I actually did think of –"

"OR do you think he just wants more time to work on the project?"

I could hear him disobeying me from the other end, going down the stairs and heading for the kitchen. I practically live at Tweek's house, so I knew all the sounds, all the creeks his hardwood floors made and the click of the kitchen light switch. I counted down, 3,2,1 and the squeaking noise of the old cupboards made its cue along with the dangling plug of the coffee maker scraping against the wood of the counter.

"Maybe..." I said. "Maybe it's both."

"Yeah...So you sound on edge, I'm guessing you haven't gotten to the good part yet." His voice got louder so I could hear it over the coffee machine. He was tired and his tone was still forced.

"He knows." I said simply.

"Oh snap crackle pop, serious?" Tweek said sarcastically.

Snap crackle pop...I loved it. I also loved how he didn't ask me to elaborate. He knew what I was talking about and didn't ask further questions. For a person who hated talking and explaining, Tweek was a perfect friend. I swear, this kid was made for me.

"Yeah, but he's not saying anything."

"Yeah, but neither are you. Let's see who's gonna crack first." He laughed like a maniac. "Let's play a love game, play a love game, do you want love? Or do you want fame..."

He started singing Lady Gaga, like he usually did when he was tired. He sang along with the beat of the coffee machine and I could even hear the pitter-patter of his dancing bare feet.

Being tired myself, I cracked up and couldn't control my laughter. For a good 5 minutes, we both held on to our ribs and just laughed. It felt good...until Tweek started coughing.

"AKH! Haha, oh my god, ouch." He kept on chuckling.

"You okay buddy?"

"Yeah...I'm gonna go back to bed though."

"Please sleep."

"I'll try. You get your fucking beauty sleep." He yawned again. "I don't want you having fucking...bags under your eyes tomorrow when your making out with Kyle on your bed."He sounded drunk, but I knew it was just the coffee kicking in and making him weirder than usual.

"I doubt I'll be able to manage that." I chuckled and rubbed my eyes. I agreed with him; this would be a good time to go to bed.

"...I'll show you...tomorrow...don't even worry." He whispered and hung up on me.

Despite the fact that I listened to Tweek and went to bed like a good boy, apparently it was still not early enough for when morning came, I was STILL tired as fuck. Tweek however, was as energetic and twitchy as ever. I could just dismiss it as being the coffee, but no, that's a lie. I had coffee this morning too, but my metabolism just fucked me over anyway!

"Craig, quick –AGH! Bathroom, follow me!" His voice was back and was surprisingly more soothing to my ears that the soft, tired tone he had yesterday.

He grabbed my wrist and jogged to the nearest boy's restroom, dragging me along with him. Tweek 'jogged' impossibly slowly, so it was just like walking.

We walked in and the kid checked every single stall, making sure nobody was here. He even glanced up at the ceiling a few times. I wasn't sure what he was expecting to see there, but after the Mysterion incidents, I guess it's just normal for him to want to be safe since he's so paranoid.

"I –I have to tell you something." He said, grabbing onto my shoulders.

"What?" I said, with a hint of impatience in my tone. It was morning, shut up.

Tweek's eyes searched my grey ones for a minute before he crushed his lips against mine.

"MMPH!" I yelled against his mouth and he immediately let go.

"What the FUCK was that?" I growled, wiping away the wetness on my lips. I narrowed my furious eyes at him and just sneered.

Tweek giggled nervously. "That's what I expect from you to do to Kyle in the next two days." He took a step forward. "DON'T disappoint me." He added and actually dared jabbing my chest with his fingers.

Swaying his tiny hips, Tweek left the bathroom, leaving me standing alone in the disgusting stench, wondering what the fuck just happened.


	8. Spinach Lasagna

**Spinach Lasagna**

Chapter 8

By, the Unlucky-Charm

**A/N: I am SO sorry this update took so long, it's just that I have had SO much to do lately, with school and everything. This is going to sound lame, but on top of it all, all my friends and relatives are born in the month of march and I had to buy like A MILLION different things and I even had to write a one shot for my cousin. It was a Top Gear fic, if anyone's interested. But anyway, here it is. Enjoy :) **

_Swaying his tiny hips, Tweek left the bathroom, leaving me standing alone in the disgusting stench, wondering what the fuck just happened. _

Once the shock died out and I was able to blink again, I stomped out of the bathroom, ready to strangle the bastard but of course, he was nowhere in sight. A few passers by stared me down quizzically. Can't really blame them; I'd find it weird too if some guy burst out of the school bathroom looking angry as hell. So, I regained my composure, straightened my hat and headed to Spanish class.

Kissing Tweek wasn't really my cup of tea (I don't really like tea all that much either), but it gave me this weird boost of energy. The surprise followed by the anger probably woke me up, like a bucket of cold water straight to the face. I shivered at the thought.

Another good thing that Tweek's spontaneous nature brought me, was a totally awesome, kickass conversation starter.

I entered the classroom and there he was, in his usual place with my vacant seat right next to him. His desk was pressed against the old fashioned heating mechanism, right underneath the window. He had his head laying in his palm and was staring outside. I know he saw me walk in and I also know that he did it on purpose not to notice me. Taunting bastard...

I took my seat as the teacher began her lesson. I pretended to listen, actually waiting to hear those magical words that would give me the freedom to be closer to Kyle.

"...you may go into your groups and..."

That's all I needed to hear.

In a single push, my desk glided the short distance between us and connected itself perfectly to Kyle's. I scooted my chair closer, making as much noise as possible, but all I got was a half second glance from the corner of his eye. I loved and hated how indifferent he was trying to seem of my presence. Let's just see how well he can stay in character after I drop he bomb on him.

"So..." I leaned in a little. "I kissed Tweek this morning." I whispered into his ear.

His open palm fell and slammed itself against his desk as his head spun towards me. His eyes, earlier avoiding me as much as they could, were now wide and glued in my direction.

"What?" He whispered, but I knew he would have yelled it out if it weren't for the teacher still giving explanations.

"Well, technically he kissed me, but it's still something right?"

"Why the hell did he kiss you?" He hissed.

See, now, it's times like these where I wish I had thought things through, because at the moment, I had absolutely no answer for his question.

"He was trying to prove a point."

"What point?"

Damn it Kyle...

"I'll tell you later." I said and then pretended to turn my attention to the teacher. I was actually waiting for her to shut the hell up so I can talk to him properly.

"Huh? No, no, no, fuck her. Tell me now." He whispered, tugging at the sleeve of my jacket.

I turned to him and smirked sarcastically. "Why Kyle, are we disobeying the teacher?"I gasped.

He shot me a nasty look, obviously not amused with my joke. It was funny how this was probably the only thing in the world that I could tell him that would actually make him NOT want to listen to a teacher. It's too bad I can only use it once. Or can I?... No, not really, unless someone else randomly kissed me, but I would like to see the asshole who would dare try.

Eventually, the lady stopped speaking and thank God too, because I was seriously starting to lose my patience. I still hadn't come up with an explanation for him, but I thought I'd just wing it.

"So? Tell me." He said, speaking normally now.

"Why do you care?" I asked, deciding to tease him a little more.

"What the hell do you mean 'why do I care'! Does this kind of thing happen to you every fucking day?"He said, shoving at my shoulder.

I sighed and rolled my eyes at him. "He wanted to prepare me." I explained. I know that was very risky to say, but I think it's sort of late to change his ideas. I fucked up in hiding this in the first place, so what the hell.

"For what?" He asked, but his reaction was way too exaggerated. His tone went up a pitch too high and his blushing face showed that he noticed it too.

"No idea." I lied and smirked.

"I guess you'll find out eventually." He said and pushed open his book.

I leaned in to get a glimpse of the page he had just opened, setting my chin on his shoulder. I took a deep breath and let it out, my breath brushing against the side of his neck. He didn't shiver like I was hoping he would, but spared me one of his sexy smiles along with a glance over his shoulder. I grinned back.

"We should really get started." He said, glancing at me then at the page we were supposed to be studying.

"Fuck that."

"We're gonna fall behind."

"Oh please." I snorted. "It'll take you a minute to learn it at home." I said and pulled back.

He sat back in his chair, biting down on his pen with his perfect teeth. He didn't reply immediately but a playful smile was stretching across his lips. He watched me from the corner of his emerald eyes, nibbling away at that pen of which I was slowly becoming more and more jealous.

"But I'm going home with you tonight." He said, giving me a very tempting look. He waited for my reaction, watching me from underneath his hooded eyes, but I didn't give it to him. Topped with his thick lashes and wet lips, I really could have jizzed in my pants.

That's dirty, Broflovski...very, very, dirty.

"Damn right." I nodded, keeping my stoic expression in tact, sparing him nothing but a twitch from the corner of my mouth, showing nothing but the slightest sign of a smile. I displayed as little reaction as possible because I refused to give him the satisfaction of knowing that his teasing had such an effect on me. But he grinned deviously anyway.

"Why are you blushing, Craig?" He asked.

Fuck.

"Am I?"

"Mmmmhm."

Feeling very awkward and nervous, I cursed the blood in my body which I could not control and grabbed the book from his desk, sliding it over to mine. I pretended to be flipping through some pages, but it was on the right one to begin with. I tried to read some of the foreign crap, but like I said, Spanish: not my thing.

"So, how was it?" He asked casually, laying his head onto the table.

I was starting to notice how his body language had changed since the beginning of the year when we weren't this close. He was much more sloppy and lazy looking than before, when his posture was always straight and his tone very professional. All of that has now gone down the drain, no more formalness.

"I dunno." I shrugged. "I wasn't expecting it, so kind of pissed off."

"Yeah? I think it's pretty cool that he was so spontaneous. I mean, isn't that what girls like? When a guy randomly kisses them? Maybe it was like...some kind of lesson or something."

He said those words as if he was talking about the weather, like it wasn't weird at all that my best friend had kissed me. Did he realise that now that he had said that, I was going to spend the rest of the day dwelling on it? Reading into it and trying to find hidden messages that may or may not even be there; it would preoccupy my mind for the longest time.

There are a million things that he could have meant, one of them being that I should kiss him out of the blue. I particularly liked that one, but I don't think it's very smart to assume that that's what he wanted to say.

Then again, he mentioned girls. He might be saying that I SHOULDN'T do that to him because he's a guy and all. Or maybe that I shouldn't kiss him at all.

Worse case scenario, he's so dense that he still hasn't realised my feelings for him and is actually referring to a girl that he thinks I like. With his brains, that was highly unlikely.

Sometimes, I wish I had a miniature Tweek living inside my skull. That way, he could read these 'secret messages' for me or tell me that I'm being an idiot for overanalysing every single thing Kyle says. If I think hard enough, I can practically hear him now: 'Ngh –leave the kid alone! He's just talking normally like any other normal person does! He's not a religious text you need to figure out!'

He still had his eyes on me. I should probably give him some kind of answer.

"I guess... not as cool when your best friend does it." I sighed and fiddled with the pages. "What if Stan kissed you?"

"Ha! I would laugh my ass off! I can just imagine all the crazy shit he convinced himself beforehand that pushed him so far as to actually kiss me." He flipped some locks out of his face. "Stan's like that. He assumes so much that he forgets what the person in question is actually like and then acts based on facts that he himself made up."

"I see..."

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. He totally just described me. He freaking QUOTED one of Tweek's lectures.

I wasn't sure what bothered me more; the fact that he described me or the fact that this showed how similar me and Marsh were.

"Tweek's not like that though..." He said, but it sounded more like he was asking me, pushing me to elaborate.

"Nah. Tweek's direct. If there's something he wants to know, he asks." I paused to think. I was making him look way too good, got to fix that. "It creates a lot of uncomfortable situation some times."

He was silent for a moment, twirling his pencil round his fingers. He lowered his eyes to his lap and took a deep breath. I remained patient and did not say a word because I knew there was something he wanted to tell me.

"Does...Tweek like Stan?" He asked. "A lot?"

I chuckled and patted his shoulder. "Not the way you think." I wanted to really laugh out loud at this, because Tweek's fan boy infatuation with Marsh was finally biting him in the ass. And now, his ass was in my hands (that sounded super weird, but whatever).

"Tweek just looks up to him." I explained, sort of saving Tweek from a future awkward moment with Stan.

"Why?"

"Think about it. Tweek's skinny, twitchy and frankly, kind of weird. He might seem totally confident, but he has as much insecurities as any other person. He's always hated that. He hated that he had to take meds because he was different. I used to tell him there's nothing wrong with him, but then there was always this one thing he would say: 'then why are they trying to fix me?'. He's better now, but still sucks, you know?"

"What does that have to do with Stan?" He asked and that's when I realised that I had sort of just plunged into a narrative of Tweek's life without even answering the question.

"Oh. Stan is like, perfect to him or something. Nice body, nice face, social...normal teenage guy. He's what Tweek wished he was. Those are his words by the way." I found it necessary to add that last part. "Basically, he's very likeable and the twitch-ball enjoys hanging around him."

I kind of felt guilty telling him all this without Tweek's consent, but I believed that Kyle could be trusted.

"Well, that's going to be a relief for Stan." He said, catching my attention. "He likes Tweek and all, but hates it when people fall for him. I know, sounds arrogant when I say it like that, but it's the truth."

"Marsh thought Tweek was crushing on him?"

"No, I did."

"I see..."

Well if he thought Tweek liked Stan, he probably KNEW I fucking loved him.

"He's lucky to have found you, Tweek I mean. He wouldn't be like this if you weren't there for him."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah, he has you taking care of him and all..."

"Uh..." I didn't quite know what to say, I was actually kind of flattered. "Doesn't Stan do the same?"

"Craig. He rolled his eyes and grinned. "I don't need to be taken care of."

I smirked. "Obviously." I whispered, but I don't think he heard me.

Arts went by smoothly with me admiring his work and the both of us laughing at mine. The more Kyle added touches to his, the more it was turning out great. The more I worked on mine, the more my sculptor was starting to look like penis.

"You could say it's a fertility symbol." Kyle said, tilting his head to the side.

"Or a dildo..."

Gym was pretty boring. The teacher made us do this test where they had to run laps, which meant no physical contact with Kyle whatsoever. And once that was finally over, I waited outside the locker rooms for him, so that we could leave.

"You didn't have to wait." He said as we walked out the building.

"Shut up." I rolled my eyes and smiled.

When we got home, Ruby was already waiting on the couch, smiling broadly at our arrival with her books already out on the table.

"Hey Kyle!" She said as if I hadn't just walked through the door as well. I even stepped in first, blocking her view of him, but to that bitch, I was probably transparent.

"Hi Ruby." He grinned and waved. "I'll be right there."

Kyle took his coat off but kept the hat on, as usual. He neatly set it on the armrest of the couch and manoeuvred his way around the table to sit down. I couldn't help but stare at every single movement he made, completely dumbfounded and just stunned at how hot he made everything look.

"Craig." My sister's shrill voice roused me from my haze. "I'm going to have to ask you to leave. I need to concentrate." The snooty bitch smirked at me and batted her eyelashes. Gallantly, I nodded, smiled politely in return and left without a word, only and I mean ONLY because Kyle was there.

As I walked away I saw Ruby frown when I made a turn for the kitchen instead of heading for my room like I usually do. She had to be crazy if she thought I was going to leave them out of earshot. She's fucking lucky I'm not sitting between them. I probably would have if I didn't have a lasagne to make. I got to work as quietly as possible. I could hear them clearly on the other side, talking, laughing, even the flip of a page.

"Show time."

I had never worked with such ease in my life. I felt like those professional chefs on TV. They work so swiftly it's almost like they're dancing. I wondered if that's what I looked like now, but I have always looked awkward all my life and I probably did so now as well.

Water was boiling with lasagna pasta in the pot, my awesome cheese grater was on the counter...all I needed to do was take out the ingredients. I wondered if my mom actually...

I opened the fridge.

Yes, yes she did.

Kosher cheese, kosher beef, kosher sauce, kosher spinach; my fridge had been invaded by kosher products. God, I love my mom. She didn't even ask questions when looking at the totally jew-ified grocery list I gave her. Everything I had asked for, she had bought, so I got to work without a moment to lose.

This is probably the most active anyone could ever see me. I was running around, dumping a million different things into a million different pots and pans covering my stove top. Once everything was simmering and heating up at the right temperature, I finally got to meet up with the second love of my life.

Two years ago, my mom had bought me a cheese grater for my birthday. If I were a normal teenage boy, I would have probably cried for days about that video game she didn't get me, but I'm far from normal.

I mean, that cheese grater, oh my GOD that cheese grater! It was magnificent! It was like magic how well it did its job. I kissed my mom twice that day. I barely ever kiss her in the first place so it was sort of a big deal. Sure, my dad called me a fag, but I couldn't care less. I had seen it in a store a while back, but I didn't think she had actually noticed me staring at it! It was a brand name and was a recommended product on all the cooking the shows I ever watched.

But that wasn't even the best part.

My awesomesauce cheese grater. Is. Motherfucking. PURPLE. Have you ever seen a purple cheese grater? No, you haven't! I have one, you don't, end of fucking story.

This might sound even gayer than my previous cheese grater rant, but I also fucking love using the thing! I rolled up my sleeves, grabbed the block of mozzarella and ran it along the blades. You might not agree, but it's exhausting work. I even have to switch arms every now and then because my muscles begin to ache. Clyde might have his bench pressing and Marsh might have his dumbbells, but my biceps look as nice as they do thanks to, yes, you guessed it, my cheese grater. I swear, you might think I'm an idiot, but if I could only take one thing with me on a deserted island to use as a tool, I'd take my cheese grater.

So there I was, cooking my ass off with my sleeves up and over my elbows, looking (and kind of feeling) like a professional. Luck was on my side too because Kyle walked in on me to get some water. I tried not to act like my heart just skipped a beat, but I don't know if it worked. I sort of looked like crap with my hatless hair falling over my eyes and sweat dripping down the side of my face thanks to the damn heat coming from every inch of the oven. It was a short encounter, but it still counted for something.

"Dayum." He said, walking in and closing the door behind him.

"Hey." I smiled.

"If I were a girl, I'd jizz in my pants." He said, staring at my arms.

"I hope that small detail won't stand in your way, then."

I made him laugh and with that, he was gone. Where had that come from? I did not know. It was unlike me to come up with something so witty so fast. I'd be lying if I said that I wasn't just a little bit proud of myself for it, though. A small, self satisfied smirk crept up my face just for a second, before I had to push it back down. Cocky is NOT a good look for me...even though Kyle indirectly told me I looked hot.

But I did, didn't I! Isn't this what most girls dream about? Some halfway decent looking guy coming into their kitchen with his nice arms and sweaty face, cooking dinner for them? But what do I care what girls think. Important thing is, is this what Kyle dreams about? I hope so, because he's gonna be seeing a lot of it.

Dinner would be ready in 10 minutes, but even that short amount of time would be excruciating for me to wait out, especially since Kyle was a single door away from me. However, I didn't have to because when there was exactly 8 minutes and 12 seconds left (yes, I was staring at the timer), a clinking noise followed by a dull thud came from the living room. It startled me enough to get me up on my feet, but I did not cross over because I knew what had happened. Kyle had spilt his water and the glass cup had rolled over and fallen onto the carpeted floor, at least that's what it sounded like. I waited for a few seconds, but there wasn't even a peep coming from the other room. Usually when people spill drinks in other people's houses, there's an exclamation of surprise, followed by a series of apologies. Hell, nobody even walked in here to get a towel or something.

I grabbed a towel, but later on I realised that I should have probably grabbed a knife instead.

Ruby was on all fours on the couch, staring up at Kyle hungrily, who stood a few feet away with his glass of water at his feet. He was blushing and looked absolutely terrified. I knew EXACTLY what had happened and I was ready to commit fratricide to fix it. When she saw me, her disgusting lustful look fell from her face and was replace with fury. She frowned, gritting her teeth, as she sat up and grabbed a text book from the table.

"Craig, we're studying." He said in a reproachful tone.

Once I was sure I'd be able to speak without assaulting her, I decided that I'd start off calmly.

"My ass is studying more than you are, so get the fuck out of here before I kick your face." I was calm, but I didn't say anything about being _nice._

"Yeah right, I'll tell mom that you disturbed our –"

"Yeah and I'll tell her it's because her daughter was about to rape the tutor, now get the fuck out."

My tone had gone ice cold and was meant to sting. If my sister actually had a soul, she would have felt it.

"Fine. If that's what you think, we'll ask Kyle –"

"DON'T say a word to him Ruby or so help me God I WILL choke you with this towel."

Fuck being calm. Being calm is for pussies. I wanted to beat the shit out of this girl so bad, but I couldn't. I couldn't for the one and only reason that she was my sister. Yeah right, as if that would ever stop me. No, the only thing standing in my way are the consequences that my father would make me live through once he found his daughter black, blue and bleeding. But God, it was hard to hold back. She had fucking made a move on him. What kind of 12 year old brat has the guts to do something like that? When I was 12, I was awkward as fuck, so how? How could she do that? I decided to ask her.

"Ruby. You're 12! Where the fuck did you get the self-esteem to –"

"I'm 13 dickhead." She said, crossing her skinny arms over her flat chest.

"What?"

"She's…she's 13, Craig." Kyle said from my left, looking at me helplessly. Jeez.

Shit, seriously? When did that even happen? Nonetheless, it's still ridiculous. A year difference hadn't made me less awkward. God, she didn't even have boobs! Even if she does have this superhuman confidence, what made her think Kyle would be interested in a kid like her?

"That's irrelevant Ruby, you're still a kid. No, you're a brat. You're a brat for thinking Kyle would be into you and then forcing him into this very awkward situation. Do you even know how uncomfortable you've made him feel?"

"Craig, shut the fuck. This is none of your business! You're embarrassing me!" She shrieked at me.

"I don't give a fuck! You embarrassed HIM, by the way. What is it? You already fucked over every other guy in your grade so you thought you'd aim higher, is that what you're trying to do here? We're you trying to see how far you could go? Is that it? Well guess what, you know what we call people like that; people like you? We call them whores. And you're 12 -13 whatever! And that makes it ten times worse. You're not even a whore because whores FUCK and you don't know SHIT about that, do you?"

"C-craig, shut up." Her voice was cracking.

"You're a slut, Rubes. At least, you're acting like one. I don't know what you're trying to pull here, but I swear, touch him or even TRY to touch him one more time, I WILL teach you a lesson." I took sneaked a glance at Kyle. He was staring at the ground. "Do NOT touch what's not yours."

By the time I had finished my speech, she was crying and when I finally turned to leave, she ran upstairs, slamming her bedroom door behind her. I continued my work, indifferent to the sniffling noises and angry, pillow-muffled shrieks coming from my sister's room. On rare occasions, I have made her cry and felt bad about it, this wasn't one of those times. She deserved it. If you think about it, by scarring her, I also did her a favor. Maybe this way, she'll change and be a little more… respectable.

"That wasn't necessary." Kyle said, standing in the doorway.

"No. It was." I contradicted him completely. He was wrong. He was being soft on her, but I knew Ruby well and being soft wouldn't help her.

There was an expected awkward silence that followed, but I ignored it. I continued cooking and I herd Kyle sit down behind me at the kitchen table.

"She... she tried to kiss me." He said.

"I know."

I didn't like this. I didn't like this one bit. It was too weird and I really didn't know what to say to him. I was angry at Ruby, I knew that, but I didn't feel like taking any more of it on Kyle.

"But I don't understand. Why would she –"

"Damn it, Kyle!" I snapped, slamming my utensil on the counter. I turned to him. He was startled, but I continued anyway. "It's...it's not like you're unattractive, you know? It's not like you're this unwanted, ugly, obnoxious idiot that no one really wants to have for their own, okay? You're..." I paused and eyed him head to toe. I had to take a deep breath, or else I'd lose it. "You're kind of, sort of...amazing."

The oven beeped, giving me a chance to break eye contact with him. After all, he was just blinking at me, kind of dumbfounded. God, this kid was getting shock after shock today.

"Did you know that?" I asked.

"Um... hadn't really crossed my mind, no."

"Well it should have." I ended the conversation, dropping a plate of steaming lasagna in front of him. "Eat." I ordered. "It's kosher."

Other than a few compliments on my cooking, we ate in silence. I couldn't help but notice the guilt in his eyes, so I made the effort of calling Ruby down for dinner. Her thoughts on that matter were quite... vulgar, so I gave up on that very quickly. I hadn't really noticed before, but Kyle ate very slowly. He took his time with every bite and I could tell he was one of those people that had to chew on their food for twenty seconds before swallowing. I tried that once. It was disgusting. The food became liquid in your mouth and then you had to swallow it like baby barf.

"You know Craig, you're kind of, sort of amazing too." He said all of a sudden, kicking the images of baby barf straight out of my head.

"And how is that?" I smiled.

"I'm not sure..." He muttered and then went back to eating.

A little more time went by and I had to resort to drawing faces in the leftover sauce in my plate with my fork. Kyle was just taking SO much time, but my mother has always told me it's impolite to leave the table when the other person is still in the middle of their meal and it's not like I minded having Kyle to look at across the table. But Goddamnit, he was S.L.O.W.

"Do you trust me?" He asked, again, out of nowhere.

I was almost sure by now that he was thinking of conversation scenarios in his head all this time to phrase everything perfectly. This wasn't just a random question. He was going to go somewhere with this. He knew because he planned it that way. I don't even get a clue.

"Yeah, totally."

"Would you tell me anything?"

Anything...?

"Um, maybe...why?"

Kyle swallowed and put his fork down. He sat up in his chair, perching his back straight and his eyes steadied. He gazed at me with piercing emerald eyes, like some kind of warning, telling me that I better not lie, because he could see right through me anyway.

"What did you mean when you told Ruby not to touch what's not hers?"

"Well, she was about to touch you and...well, you're not hers to touch. That's all it meant." I said, trying to remain calm and casual and not blurt out that he was mine and nobody else could ever have him as long as I am living and maybe even after I'm dead if I convince Tweek to do the job for me.

"Alright, then whose am I?"

What...

"Nobody's Kyle, you're not an object."

"Yes, I know, I know. But IF I were to belong to someone...who?"

"Well, I don't know. That's not for me to say, it's your decision, really."

A teasing smirk stretched across his lips and that's when I knew I was screwed. He leaned in and settled his chin in his palm. He looked very seductive with his eyes hooded halfway, making his thick lashed all the more eye catching, almost as much as his stunning smile.

"Craig. How about you stop answering me like I'm a woman and tell me what you really think. You're a little more direct than that." He purred. "So, who. Do. i. Belong. To? Hm?"

Damn him. Damn him and his flirtatious ways of getting me speak or practically do anything he would want me to. I panicked. I wanted to continue saying strategic things, but would he detect them as being lies? Surely he would. I had to think, but there was no time. He was staring at me, pleased at how flustered he suddenly got me. What should I do!

"Come on, Craig. Answer."

I took a deep breath. In fact, I took several quick one as well, like I had just run a marathon. My entire breathing was uneven and the words were jumbled up in my head. I was under pressure, what do you expect? And people ALWAYS did stupid things when they're under pressure.

"You're mine."

Was that me?

Kyle was taken aback for a second, then relaxed in his chair and grinned.

"That's better."

He got up and patted my forearm. At least, that's what I saw in my line of vision because my gaze was sort of frozen, staring into the emptiness.

"Come on, we have a project to do." He said, the smile in his tone. He walked out the door without even waiting for me.

Holy mother of God, what the fuck just happened.

During the project, Kyle went into 'professional' mode and was in no mood to fool around. We got pretty far for the day, even though I didn't do much work compared to him. He had this serious expression on, among other expressions I'd seen on him throughout the day. Sweaty Kyle, happy Kyle, shocked Kyle, flirty Kyle and now working Kyle. I didn't enjoy the working Kyle like I did the others, but it was still fun to watch. Whenever he concentrated on something (which was almost all the time) he frowned a little bit and nibbled on his pencil. He looked especially sexy with his glasses on. Every now and then he'd settle his specs on his head, pushing his red locks backwards. It wasn't normal, being that gorgeous all the time. It just wasn't.

He licked his lips and fluttered his lashes. The way he moved was just breath taking and I'd dare anyone to try and concentrate with THAT in the room. His green eyes snuck a glance at me. It lasted less than a second, but it was followed by Kyle sinking his perfect teeth into the side of his lower lip. My face froze with my mouth slightly open. I couldn't take my eyes off of him and that's when I caught him taking yet another look my way. He stared back down at his paper, with a small smile playing on his face. I frowned.

"Are you doing that on purpose?" I asked, setting my books aside and standing up.

He stared up at me. "Hm?" He was acting innocent, gazing at me over his glasses . "Doing what?"

I walked closer to him.

"Making that sexy face."

"Excuse me?"

"Stop acting dumb."

He sighed and removed his glasses. "I have no idea what you're talking about."

I pursed my lips like my mother did when she knew I was lying my ass off. I arched a brow and narrowed my eyes at him. He stared straight back, not amused, but I wasn't going to break eye contact first. I grabbed his face in my hands and squeezed his cheeks together.

"You and your sweet ass know damn well what I'm talking about Broflovski." I cooed to him. He looked fucking cute with his face squished up like that.

He pushed my arm away and frowned. "Then say it."

"What...?"

"Say it. What you're talking about. Why is this non existent sexy face bothering you so much, Craig?" He grinned and made the face all over again.

I gulped. I didn't want to speak because he was clearly smarter than me and there was no way I was going to win this if he was going to flash me that look every single time.

"Say it, come on."

"N –no." I mumbled, trying to get my focus off his wet lips.

"Craig. Just say it."

"You say it." I tried to argue.

"Why? Why don't you?"

"Damn it. I'm not going to!" I said a little too loudly and fell back into my initial seat.

For a second, he didn't say anything and just stared at me.

"Alright then." He said and turned back to his work.

If this wasn't proof that he knew, I don't know what was.

Kyle left at 8 o'clock and the parting was as awkward as ever. We had gone a step further today, by talking about it indirectly instead of just reading it in each other's eyes. We said our goodbyes but he still wouldn't leave. He had his eyes on me again with his head titled to the side. He was making a puppy dog face, but God, that was one fuckable puppy. Unlike him, I kept my blunt expression. The one I was famous for.

"I'm not saying it."

His expression fell and he glared at me. "Fuck." He stomped his foot.

"Well, see you tomorrow then. Try not to stare at my ass when I walk away."

"I will if I want to." I replied in a sing song voice.

And I did.

**Please review. It gives Craig new recipe ideas :D **


	9. Sushi

**Sushi**

Chapter 9

By, the Unlucky-Charm

**A/N: If you're wondering why this update took so much time, here's your answer. This story was removed from the site because my summary wasn't G rated (it had the word 'shit' in it). So, basically I had to repost all the chapters, meaning I lost all of my reviews, favourites and people who had this story on story alert. I apologize for the inconvenience and BEG you to review as much as you can to make up for all the ones I lost. Again, sorry. To make up for it, I wrote this chapter for you in one sitting. I think you'll like this one =)**

I don't get to see Kyle much of Fridays, which is why I have trouble getting out of bed in the morning. I mean, what's the point? But today was definitely different. The promise of seeing my precious redhead by the end of the day was enough to have me bouncing out of bed and almost bursting into a cheery morning tune... almost. I put on the clothes that my mom was too lazy to fold so just threw by the foot of my bed. I went to brush my teeth and found that my hat had also magically appeared and set itself clumsily onto my head (I probably slept with it on). In the hallway, I crossed paths with Ruby, who decided to avoid my gaze. I did the same.

I left the house early to pick up Tweek because the bastard had something to talk to me about. I didn't see why he couldn't just tell me at school, where we saw each other all the fucking time, but I was in such a good mood that it really didn't matter one bit. Thing was that my dad never let me use the car to get to school, claiming that if I needed a ride, he'd take me, so the idea of 'picking up Tweek' actually consisted of me walking to his house, waiting for him to come out and then heading for the school together, again, on foot.

Luckily, it wasn't as cold outside as I was expecting it to be and Tweek didn't live too far either. Sometimes I wonder if that was done on purpose, you know, his house being so close to mine. For emergencies and such, I could be there in a matter of minutes. That would be so like Tweek, to preplan all of that.

When I got to his house, he was already leaving the house, locking the door, unlocking it and locking it again... don't ask why, it'll never end. He knows my face like the back of his hand and yet he still yelps loudly when he turns to see me standing on the sidewalk.

"Hey." I say.

"Don't scare me like that man!"

"We're gonna be late, twitchy. What the hell is it you wanna talk about?"

My comment seemed to have made him nervous, more than he usually was. He hesitantly joined me as we walked to school in the cold. He kept his distance, which was also normal, but now it just seemed like he was doing it on purpose, like, I don't know... like he was making a point to do so. I'm not gonna lie, he was starting to worry me and I kind of hoped that what he was about to tell would have something to do with gnomes, because honestly, that would be a relief. Gnomes, I can deal with, but real problems, that's a different story.

"H-hey Craig..."

"Hm?"

"I think you should tell Kyle... I –I think it's the right time to... to do it."

He had told me this a million times before, but in his bitchy, girly voice and let me tell you, he didn't sound very sure of it at the moment.

"Yes, I know. You've said it before and I will give you the same answer: I am not –"

"GAH! BUT I'M NOT THE ONLY ONE!" He slurred really fast.

"What the hell are you talking about Tweek?"

For his sake, I spoke calmly like I didn't give a damn, but inside, I was in a panic. There are two possibilities here: first, he could be talking about the gnomes or the aliens or the government and second... I don't want to think about.

"S –Stan..." He whimpered.

My body tensed and I stopped walking. I slowly raised my eyes towards him. He was already flinching, waiting for what was about to explode all over him: me.

"What ABOUT Stan?" I said through clenched teeth.

"I –I might have told him... a little bit..."

"A LITTLE bit?" I asked, not really FUCKING sure how you can tell a person a LITTLE bit of someone else's secret.

My brain was malfunctioning, sending a shooting pain into my temples, my chest and my stomach. I felt like I was just hit by a bus, like the air had been somehow knocked out of me.

"It just came out!" He said, holding his hands in front of him defensively. "I didn't mean –"

"TWEEK." I grabbed him by the shoulders, staring down at him with the deadliest of glares I could muster. I stood taller than him, so intimidating him was easy, not that I was trying to, though. I always kept my calm with Tweek, always knew the way to treat him but... well, every guy has his limits and THAT just struck a nerve of mine. "Why. Why the FUCK would you do that?" I spat at him.

"Ngh... Craig, stop it..." He shut his eyes and turned away, but I didn't back off. I tightened my grip on him, because if I didn't control my hands, I'm not sure what the hell I would do.

'Don't hit him' I kept repeating to myself in my head. 'It'll break his heart...' Well, what the FUCK am I supposed to do then! I swear, if my best friend standing in front of my wasn't Tweek Tweak, he'd be sporting one nasty shiner by now.

But he is. My best friend IS Tweek Tweak and I would never forgive myself if a laid a hand on him. Hell, all these years of getting him to trust me would go down the drain in a second. Well FUCK what about MY trust? Why should I give a fuck when he doesn't? If he has the nerve to go blabber away about MY BIGGEST FUCKING SECRET EVER to fucking STAN MARSH of all people, also known as KYLE'S BEST FRIEND, then why should I care? Why should I keep my part of the bargain, while he can't? Can't I be selfish with him, at least ONCE? Just once, just to teach him a lesson...

"God DAMN IT, Tweek." I let go of him. "His best friend... you fucking idiot..."

And I walked away,

I didn't see him for the rest of the day, not that I was avoiding him or anything, but because he seemed to be doing just that. I only had a few classes with him, and he wasn't present during either of them. Can't say it bothered me. I wasn't quite ready to confront him yet.

Tweek and I rarely fought and when we did, it was over something stupid. Let me give you an example. Once, I was having a really shitty day, but that didn't stop him from rambling on about how great Stan is, so I kind of... snapped. My exact words were "that airheaded jock-fag is the biggest idiot I've ever met but hey, it's not his fault if he inherited it from his dad". As much as I stand by it, it's not a very nice thing to say and Tweek didn't think so either. He got mad, but that only lasted up until he needed a cup of coffee but was convinced a rapist was hiding in his kitchen. That's Tweek's version of "being stuck between a rock and hard place". Sometimes I even wonder if that's the only reason he bothers sticking by me; the fact that he needs me to fucking survive. Or maybe it's the other way around: I have no other use in the world than to keep Tweek alive.

Now that my friends, is very, very sad for the both of us.

Other than that, my day could not have been any more boring. The time I was forced to spend in class was torture and each break we had seemed to just stretch on as long as the classes themselves. It gave me a lot of time to think, though. To think about what happened in the morning and the consequences it would bring me. I really did NOT feel like thinking about it, but it wasn't exactly something I could disregard either.

Marsh knowing was bad for many obvious reasons. First, he would look at me funny. Yes, you heard me; the idiot will look at me all weird. Why? Because he's an idiot and can't handle being nonchalant about things. It's like that one time, when Token pointed out how big Red's boobs really were, Marsh couldn't keep his eyes off the chick's rack every time he passed by her in the hallway, for a whole week! That itself is pretty bad, so you can just imagine what kind of look I would get, seeing as a certain somebody told him how madly in love I am with his super best friend! I swear, if we run into each other in the hall, I am SO screwed it's not even funny.

Second, there's a chance he told Kyle. Marsh isn't a blabbermouth by nature, which is one of the very few things I respect him for, but this situation here could easily be an exception. If someone were in love with Tweek, I wouldn't think twice about telling the twitchy bastard. Plus, his reaction would be priceless. He'd probably squeal every time they crossed paths. But hey, no thinking about him now... I plan on still being mad, at least for a little while longer. This is going to be hard to forgive.

Third, which is the worst I can think of at the moment, there's always a chance that Marsh feels about me the same way I feel about him and would take the time to tell absolutely everyone about this, all out of spite. This is unlikely, but I still let myself worry because this kind of shit always seems to happen to me. Yup, I'm not a chick magnet (duh, I love Kyle), so instead, I have become a shit magnet. Great.

The last bell of the day was by far, the best sound ever created, in my opinion. Yes, best sound, followed by the best feeling: stepping out of class. Which, in turn, was followed by the best view (but also a very rare one): the cutest redhead in the world, leaning against my locker. His emerald eyes scanning the halls, his curls falling in and out of his face, his amazing lips set in a neutral expression and not to mention, a sexy blush brushed over his gorgeous cheekbones. Yes, he is the farthest humanity will ever get in its endless efforts to reach perfection and HE was waiting for ME of all people.

"Hey." He smiled when he saw me and I think...yes, yes, I'm pretty sure... yup, my insides just melted. What a shame.

"Hi." I replied

"Guess what." He said, giving me this sexy, playful look.

"What."

"You're not cooking for me today, Tucker." He crossed his arms over his chest, staring at me from underneath his hooded eyes.

"Is that so?"

"Mmmmhm."

He moved aside, letting me access my locker. I wasn't sure what he was implying, but I was SO down to find out.

"Well Broflovski," I began, flirting right back because there was no way I was going to let him win. "you are welcome to take a shot at it, that is, if you can even figure out how my oven works."

"Right..." He trailed off and stared down at me, watching me kneel in front of my bag, stuffing some books into it. "Is your bag heavy?" He asked.

"Not really... why?"

"My house isn't as close to the school as yours is." He paused to take in my confused reaction with an evil smile. "Plus I need to stop on the way to pick something up."

I arched my brow up questioningly at him. I felt that the question was obvious and didn't need to be put into words.

"Oh, didn't I mention? Were at my place today." He teased, playing innocent.

I chuckled. "Good to know you worry about me, then." I got up and closed my locker, making sure to stare straight at him when I spoke. "Don't. I'll carry yours too if you want."

He rolled his eyes. "Not necessary."

We headed for his house, but made a left turn on a main street instead of continuing forward. I didn't have a clue of where we were going, but I made a few silent prayers on the way, hoping it wasn't Tweek bros. Thing is, that's the direction we were walking in. Four stores down and we would be there. Three...Two... We crossed the street and I couldn't help but exhale loudly in relief. I was not ready for that reencounter yet.

"You can wait outside." He told me, but I followed him into the town's one and only sushi place anyway.

"Numbah 32!" The Japanese man behind the counter yelled in a heavy Asian accent.

"Yes, that's mine." Kyle said, taking the white bag the man was handing him, in which I assumed was our dinner

"You pay?'

"I already did."

"Okay. You leave now, Kyru."

Kyle frowned at him and left. Once again, I followed. There were a few seconds of silence once we were outside again.

"We leave now, Kyru?" I impersonated, breaking the silence in the most original way I could think of.

He grunted and punched me in the shoulder with his free hand. "Yeah, yeah, were leaving... asshole."

When we finally got to his house, the first thing I saw when I entered was the little black haired boy curled up on the couch, his nose stuffed in a very big and scary looking book that probably weighed more than he did.

"Hey." He greeted us without taking his eyes off the page he was reading.

"Hey Ike." Kyle replied. "Oh, would you mind going up to your room please? We're gonna watch TV here, wouldn't wanna bother you."

His big brown eyes tore themselves away from the words, but only long enough for him to stare me down. If I hadn't known what I did about him (thanks to Kyle), I would have thought the kid was checking me out.

"Sure." He said and immediately got up. He read while he walked and even managed to go up the stairs without tripping over himself. "Save me the California rolls." He said once he had disappeared, the sound of his bedroom door shutting following his request.

I blinked at the staircase where Ike had been standing but a second ago, taking in the miracle that had just taken place before me. I didn't think it possible and never would I have imagined it to turn out this way, but Kyle's brother, with whom I have yet to speak to, has made me fall even deeper in love with Kyle than I already was. It was like a blessing. Not only was Kyle perfect, but to me, his brother was too, causing Kyle to become even more amazing to my eyes.

"What..." I turned to Kyle. "The. Fuck."

"Hm?"

"That was amazing! Is he always like that? So... I don't wanna say obedient 'cause then it sounds like he's your dog but –"

"Craig. Not all siblings are a pain in the ass." He crossed his arms over his chest and slid his gaze up the stairs, as if he could see Ike through the walls. "He's very reasonable, that's all. He doesn't argue for the sake of arguing."

"Well, if he ever goes missing, please don't tell your parents I'm the one who took him."I said, bending over to grab the bags when suddenly, my hand was slapped away by a white clad foot.

"Hell no." Its owner said, setting it on my chest, right under my neck. The cotton tickled, but the whole scene was like the one from Grease, when the girl goes through this whole makeover and pushes John Travolta up to his feet with her high heeled shoe.

"You. Sit down." I stared up at his frowning face from the ground, where I was to remain if he didn't pull his foot away any time soon. If I weren't already considering myself his bitch, this scenario right here confirmed it. Well, he told me to sit down, didn't he? So I did.

"I can't cook for you, Tucker. I can hardly work an oven, so let me do this for you, okay?"

Absolutely hypnotized by his moving lips and the words that came out of them, I couldn't do more than obediently nod with my mouth hanging slightly open. Like a puppy shunned by his master, I sat my ass down and shut the hell up.

I watched him walk in and out of the room a few times, bringing in small wooden tables, cups, plates and napkins. It felt weird, watching him do the work while I was just sitting there doing nothing. I found myself almost getting up a few times (force of habit), but caught myself before I did.

"Can you use chopsticks?" He asked, poking his head out of the kitchen.

"If I say no, will you feed me?"

"No... but I can give you a fork."

I sighed. "Then I guess there's no point..."

He shot me an impatient look and I couldn't help but laugh. "Yeah, yeah, I can use chopsticks, now will you please sit down so we can eat?"

He finally sat down next to me, opening the Styrofoam boxes containing all the colorful pieces of raw fish. He set the box between us and we helped ourselves. He turned the TV on and handed me the remote. I never really watched TV all that much, so I just surfed the channels, trying to find something that was at the same time, not depressing and that wouldn't fry our brain cells either.

"Hey... Jersey Shore is on." I pointed out on purpose, watching his face take on a horrified expression from the corner of my eyes. I couldn't help the small smile spreading on my lips.

"If you know what's good for you, you'll change the channel." He threatened shamelessly, his mouth full of fish.

"Alright, alright..." I paused and glanced to see that he wasn't terrified anymore...now, that wouldn't do. "What is it you called yourself again...?"

"Don't go there Craig." He said firmly. I knew he was giving me one hell of a dirty look, but I didn't turn to check.

"Kyle-B... No, no, it was cuter than that."

"Craig. Stop. I swear I'll kill you."

I paused thinking maybe I shouldn't go there, but then I realised how fun it would be if I did.

"Kyley-B. There you go!"I finally turned to him and grinned. "That was it, right?"

"Yes. That was it." He hissed through clenched teeth. I laughed because he looked like he was about to kill me and it made him look so damn hot, I would piss him off like this more often just to see it.

"I'm sorry dude, I was just kidding."

He didn't respond and we sat quietly for a while, watching, but not really paying attention to this home makeover show.

"You know..." He said softly moments later. "I still... have the shirt."

It took me a few seconds to really understand WHICH shirt he was talking about, but when I did... I don't think I've laughed that hard in my life, which really isn't saying much seeing as I don't laugh very often, but it was still funny as hell. I tried to stop myself, because to be honest, all this smiling and chuckling was ruining my cool, stoic image, but that image of him in the shirt just kept popping back into my head every single fucking time!

"Wow... I've never seen you laugh this much." He commented.

"Yeah well...it's sort of really funny how... you get all tough whenever you go into Jersey mode and with the gelled back hair..." I tried to explain in between uncontrollable chuckles, without much success.

"Oh yeah..." He grunted. "But Jersey Kyle is a total badass. He could kick your ass if he wanted to."

"Yeah, lucky for me, I have wimpy Kyle sitting here with me today."

"Oh, like you're such a tough guy. I bet you couldn't even pin me down."

"Um, hello, have you forgotten our good times practicing football tackles."

"Ugh, don't fucking remind me." He rolled his eyes. "But that doesn't count. You couldn't do it now, is what I'm saying."

I could have answered with something witty at that point, but I didn't because something had suddenly dawned on me. What Kyle was saying... could it be like, oh I don't know, an invitation of some sort? Was he challenging me? Even if he was, there was more to it than a regular playground game to see whose stronger. It was more than an arm wrestling game he was asking me to play, is what I'm, trying to say. Dirty move, on his part. He was testing me, to see if I'd do it or not. Obviously, I can't. I mean, just the THOUGHT of me laying on top of him has me nursing a semi, so I don't want him feeling the WHOLE thing pressing up against his leg. If this silence wasn't already getting awkward, that would just be the fucking cherry on top.

"Do it." He suddenly said.

"Excuse me?"

"If you think you can do it, then prove it to me."

"Kyle I..." I had no idea what to tell him. What he was asking of me... I didn't know what to do of it. I wish I could just pause this whole scene and call Tweek. He'd know what to do. Kyle Broflovski was asking me to prove it; prove that I can pin him down. If I showed him one of my many fantasies of him, that would be proof enough. His request was barely a physical challenge anymore. The question wasn't if I could, it was if I had the balls to. And THAT answer, I could not provide. I'd do anything he told me to, but what he was asking of me now...

"Pin me down." He said and oh dear lord, he was NOT asking anymore.

I said it myself: I'm his bitch. And THAT my friends, was a an order.

I grabbed his ankles and pulled, bringing his whole body down to lay on the couch. I pounced over him before he could make a move of his own, but to be perfectly honest, it didn't look like he was going to. My legs were cradling his pelvis and my chest was floating above his. A good ten inches separated our faces. If I went any lower, my hair would brush up over his nose. My breathing was hard, uneven and shaky and he could feel every bit of it. My whole body tensed and I bit down on my tongue to stop me from doing anything. I shut my eyes, thinking that if I couldn't see his face, it wouldn't be as hard to hold back. It didn't make much of a difference though, seeing as I could smell him and feel him and touch him, but my brain was in no position to think logically.

"Why are you resisting it." He asked.

'Don't open your eyes,' I repeated to myself. 'He's looking at you. If you look, you're done for.'

"Craig, look at me."

"No."

"Why the hell not?"

"Then I'll..." I swallowed loudly. "I might want to do something that I shouldn't."

Last time I was in this position, it was in a dream I was having and I was way smoother then than I was at the moment. Here I was, living a dream and I couldn't even bring myself to open my eyes. But I can't. I'm almost one hundred percent sure that I'll lose it. I've worked so hard, done so much to get where I am with him and if he's not ready... even if he claims to be, I don't want to be the one to fuck this up.

"And what would that be?" He asked.

He sounded so calm, like we were talking about the fucking weather. HE was the one pinned down under ME and yet I was shaking and stammering. He lay as still as a rock and spoke just as firmly.

"You won't like it."

"How are you so sure?"

"Well, will you?"

"That depends on what you're going to do."

Damn it. He was driving the conversation in a circle, trying to get me to spit it out.

"You know what I'm going to do..."

"Then do it, if you're so sure."

Fuck. Fuck him and his brain. Fuck the way he just gets how I work and fuck the way he knows how to use it against me. Fuck the way I love him and fuck the fact that he's doing everything to get me to tell him just that.

"Kyle, please." I took a deep breath. "Not like this."

He didn't say anything for a long while and I couldn't see his face either. It took a lot of will power to keep my lids shut, but eventually, I felt him stirring beneath me. He lay his hand on my chest and pushed. I fell back into a sitting position, pulling my legs up into an Indian seating position to give him room. And most importantly, I opened my eyes again; he was sitting like he was before I jumped him, as if it didn't even happen.

Later on when I had to leave, it was like every other time we parted. We lingered at the threshold, our 'manly' goodbye embrace lasted longer each time and we both stared at each other before one of us actually bothered closing the door, hoping that the other will make a move. But no one ever did.

I realised how impressed I was with myself as I was walking home. Not once did I crack, when I could easily have, countless times.

And not once did I mention to him, during this surreal afternoon we shared together, how much I love him.

Or how much I hate sushi.


	10. Sour Patch Kids

**Sour Patch Kids**

Chapter 10

By, the Unlucky-Charm

**A/N: Absolutely NOTHING interesting happens in this chapter. Basically, I'm just messing with you guys until we get to the could stuff, you know, build up and all. So, please bare with me through this incredibly boring chapter. I have plans, my friends, huge plans for what's coming next, so do not fret, it will all pay off in the end, I promise you. Anyway, here it is. Please review if you feel like it (please feel like it.)**

I like sleep. I really, really do. Tweek doesn't. He really, really doesn't. See the problem? I do. My sister does. My parents do. Especially at 8 am on a Saturday morning, when the Tucker family prefers to sleep in before having to deal with each other for another weekend. So you can only imagine my irritation when the doorbell wakes me up, followed by my mom yelling "Craig, it's your twitchy friend!". Her voice pierces through my ears, it's so screechy and God, I have to get up or else she will NOT shut up.

"H-hey Craig."

As promised, Tweek stood at my door. He had his messenger bag over his shoulder, its only purpose being to transport his thermos around, the rest of the bag is always empty. He barely ever uses it after all, but he always brings it out when he has something of greater importance to carry around in his hands. What I didn't really get was what was so special about a bag of sour patch kids.

"Hello..." I yawned out. He wouldn't catch my gaze.

He held the bag tightly in his hands, his knuckles turning white from clutching too hard. His eyes were shut, as if he was bracing himself for something. But what? Why is he giving me sour patch kids? Sure, they're my favourite sour candy and Tweek knows that I get high on the stuff, but what's the occasion?

"I'm sorry! Please take these!"

"Sorry...?"

Oh yeah... I'm supposed to be mad at him. I cleared my throat and regained my composure, which made me look ridiculous paired with my horrible bed head.

"Right." I took the bag, but he still seemed as nervous as ever. I was so used to being the only one he was calm around, this felt weird and I wanted it to stop. "I forgive you Tweek, but I still think you shouldn't have told him."

"BUT -"

"BECAUSE, let me finish, he told Kyle and now the bastard is using it against me." I rolled my eyes like the whole endeavour was exasperating. "So there. You are forgiven and you might as well come in, since there's no way I'm going to be able to fall back asleep."

I pushed the door open wider and walked to the living room. It was only when I sat down on the sofa that I noticed he hadn't followed me in and was still standing at the threshold, letting the cold air into the house.

"Tweek?"

"Uh... um, Craig?"

"Yes Tweek." I said slowly, hoping it would make me sound calmer.

"S -Stan didn't tell Kyle anything."

"What? Yes, he did. Get in here, I'll explain everything." He didn't move. I sighed and forced a smile, waving him in like fucking Mr. Rogers. "Come on, I'll throw in all the juicy details you love so much."

He seemed to like that idea a little better and, although still hesitantly, walked in and shut the door behind him. He didn't take off his coat, but he did sit down next to me at a normal distance. If he's too clingy, it means something's bothering him. If he's too far away, it means I'M bothering him, so this was just right.

"Right, so the bastard surprised me by treating me to sushi at his place. You know, I hate the stuff, but there was no way I was telling him that. I sucked it up, right? So anyway, Jersey Shore comes up, oh, I almost forgot! His little bro? He's a fucking saint! I swear, I'm going to kidnap him and -"

I had to stop myself because Tweek's giggle told me I was making a fool out of myself. He never laughs at what I say, unless he's being his flamboyant self, which he wasn't at the moment.

"What's so funny?" I asked.

"You are SOOOOO in love, it's not even normal." He said with a flip of his wrist.

Aaaaaaaand, he was back, just like that.

"What makes you say that?"

"You haven't spoken so much and so quickly ever before, and I've known you for years! It's like... you're not yourself, but in a way, you still are."

"You're not making any sense."

"Oh, like you are! You're all over the place talking about sushi, little brothers and Jersey Shore; you lost me there, Craig." He smiled and winked, and I knew he was joking.

I told him the whole story then and very honestly too. I say honestly because most people embellish stories, making themselves sound like heroes, or playboys, or gods even. I'm not like that. I tell it like it is, so when I got to the part where I was pinning Kyle down with my eyes shut, I told him it was because I was scared shitless of opening them and NOT because I was trying to be romantic. I was expecting him to laugh at me. He did. And when I told him about the short conversation we had while in our awkward position, I expected him to gasp. He did, practically choking on the air he was breathing.

"I know I don't say this often, but that was a good move on your part. I'm sort of proud..." He wrinkled his nose and stared at the ceiling, still trying out the words on his tongue. He was... proud of me. It was an odd thing to hear, especially coming from Tweek.

"Why? 'Cause I chickened out?" I snorted.

"You did NOT! You just proved how amazing you are! It's clear that all Kyle wants at this point is for you to confess and get it over with, but YOU know better! You know when the right time will be and when that time comes, it's going to be perfect! Without the raw fish and hopefully without fucking Home Makeover playing in the background!" He threw his fist out in air, like he had just roared some kind of battle cry. "Plus, you're making him wait. It'll drive him mad! He probably has blue balls for you by now!"

"That is a fancy ass way of saying that I pissed my pants in fear." I said.

"Shush. It's a good thing...but Craig..." He lowered his voice when he said my name.

"...what."

"Um... see, thing is... okay, promise you won't freak out."

"I am not promising anything, but please, DO go ahead." I flashed him a grin that was anything but friendly. My eyes weren't smiling... no, they were definitely not. Glares aren't usually meant to be nice and welcoming.

"Um...right. See, S-Stan really didn't... he didn't tell him anything, Craig. I asked him yesterday night, wh-when you and Kyle were at his place. He said he didn't... so..." Tweek paused and gulped. "I don't know if that changes anything, but I thought I should tell you just in case."

It did. Not much, but it still did change a few things. It meant that I was an open book, very open, written in large print with thick black letters that could be seen from miles. If the Marsh idiot hadn't told him, that only meant he figured it out on his own, confirming my earlier suspicions once again and for good. Kyle knew and as scary as that sounded, I was relieved.

"No more hiding then." Tweek said.

"Hm?" He pulled me out of my reverie, but I still couldn't help the fact that I was staring blankly into the emptiness. My gaze was stuck.

"You can't really hide it anymore. That would just be stupid. He knows, why cover up? You have to keep moving to make it happen. Don't wait for him to ask it of you, do it yourself. Make the move!" Tweek was starting to sound like one of those self help, motivational speeches. Problem was, it wasn't helping me at all. On the contrary, it was making me feel worse.

I felt like those women you see in cheesy movies. The ones that date and date and date, on a quest to find themselves a husband like getting married is the only thing to look forward to in life. Maybe for them it is, but once they DO find that one 'special' guy and they are standing at the alter, staring into their eyes, they get cold feet, mess up, say the wrong name or say 'I don't' instead of 'I do'. That's what I felt like; now that I was so close, I wanted to run away.

"I can't..." I said.

"Can't what?"

"I can't do it Tweek!" I grabbed his shoulders and shook him hard. If I were anybody else, he would have started crying.

"What!? Yes you can! You got this far!"

"I know! But... but, what if I mess up! Or he does! Or we both do! What if this doesn't work out and turns out that it was, after all, just another high school crush! What if he realizes he likes vagina! What if I like vagina! I mean, do I even like dick!? I haven't tried it! Maybe I should and then think about all this! I'm not ready, man!"

That's about when he slapped me, making a stinging sharp pain spread across the side of my face and reeling my head to the side. I didn't know he could do something like that, but it was just a slap after all, girls skinnier than him have managed before, it shouldn't be a surprise that he was just as capable. What WAS surprising was that he had the nerve to do it to me.

"Do you hear yourself? And you call ME dramatic!" He snorted and freed himself from my loosened grip. "Here. Eat these and shut up." He threw me the bag of candy that I had dropped on the floor by the couch.

I felt helpless. And the thought of being helpless next to Tweek, the most helpless person on the planet, made me feel ten times more helpless. So I shut up and ate the candy with the little dignity I had left after that short breakdown. I chewed slowly, not to make any noise and waited, because I could tell he was still processing his thoughts.

"Okay." He sighed. "First of all, you don't like vagina. You stare at girls like they're dogs that just shat on your lawn."

That was true.

"Second, you like dick. I've seen you checking out the Abercrombie models, DON'T even deny it." He held up a hand to silence me when I opened my mouth to argue.

Yeah, that was true as well.

"Finally, this is not a high school crush. Period. No arguing. It's. Just. Not."

"How do you know?"

Tweek eyed me like I was the biggest idiot on the planet. It felt horrible and I promised myself I would never do it to him ever again. Yeah, that was my look, I recognized it. He leaned in slowly, his giant eyes staring straight into mine.

"Because." He hissed through his clenched jaw. "If it were, you would have fucked him when he practically threw himself at you yesterday."

That could also be sort of true... I guess. What the fuck, since when does Tweek make valid points?! This is all coming from the same guy who called me up 2 weeks ago, claiming that his father was an alien disguised in human skin. Then he said something about a Doctor Who episode from the first season, but he had lost me by then.

"Now stop acting like a terrified bride and make your move!"

My hand paused an inch away from my mouth with a green sour patch kid pinched between my fingers.

"Wait, no. I can't..." His dirty look made me rethink what I was about to say. "Okay, you have to help. Don't start saying bullshit like I'm on my own or this is something I have to do myself."

"It is, but I will help. I don't know how, but I will. I shall use my resources!"

"Which are?"

"Stanley Marsh."

"Okay."

"Oh? What's this? Are you not bothered with the fact that you shall be seeking help from Stanley Marsh? Have you grown to like him? Is that it?" He teased me.

"Fuck you, I'm not stupid. I still don't like him, but it's reasonable to... use him, in this case. It's only logical." I paused. "You retard."

Tweek laughed and punched me in the arm, which I wouldn't have noticed if I hadn't seen it happen. We watched television for a while. I ate my delicious candy, all of it so that there would be none left for Ruby or my dad. Tweek was texting furiously like his life depended on it, but every time I looked over he would stop dead and stare at me with big doe eyes, waiting for me to turn away again to continue. This happened 6 times before I got fed up and asked him what the hell was going on.

"Nothing." He said and grinned, but I that only made me 100 percent sure that he was hiding something.

It didn't take long for me to find out, though. At about 10 o'clock, the doorbell rang for the second time that morning. I heard my father curse and start getting out of bed, so I rushed to open the door before he got the chance to get downstairs and murder the new visitor.

I had to see his face at school, in the mornings, at lunch, during the classes we shared and I could barely handle that without having to get up and punch him in the face. So excuse me for slamming the door in his face immediately when I was met with Stan Marsh, grinning widely and waggling his brows.

"Hey Tucker."

Slam.

"Craig! Open the door!" Tweek squealed from the sofa.

"Why the hell is Stan Marsh at my doorstep?"

"He's gonna help! You said it was okay!"

"Yes, and when exactly was it that I said you should invite him to MY house right NOW?"

"The sooner the better?" He grinned apologetically and shrugged. The bastard... he wasn't sorry at all.

"Tweek?" I heard from outside. The idiot was still there.

"We can't leave him there." Tweek said as if we had left him in a ditch.

"Why not?"

"Craig!"

"Fine, fine, but I don't have to be nice." I pointed at him, a severe expression on my face.

"Okay, but don't be mean... be..."

"Stoic?"

"Yourself."

"Same thing."

Tweek smirked at me. "Not anymore."

I ignored him, but I knew what he had meant. I was going to disappoint him, though, because what he meant only applies to Kyle and I just opened the door to Stan, FAR from being Kyle. I looked at his unchanged smiling expression, even after I slammed the door in his face. I sighed.

"Might as well you come in." I said for the second time that morning and then, we were three.

/

Marsh's idea of 'help' consisted of him and Tweek discussing my love life without ever bothering to consult me. They went from romantic dinners to walks on the beach and to serenading. I was pretending to be completely distracted by the television, but I was actually listening quite intently to what the two were saying and it suddenly made all the sense in the world why these two got along. Every single over the top, insane idea Tweek came up with, Stan would agree with a stupid grin and lightning fast nodding. When they finally came up with a few plans, I was more than happy to rain on their parade.

"I can't afford a romantic dinner, there are NO beaches in South Park and if you think I'm going to sing, then you two are bigger idiots than I thought." I said, without even looking away from the screen. I didn't actually believe that Tweek was an idiot, but he told me not to be 'mean', so I figured that if I included him in the insult, it wouldn't single out Marsh anymore.

"What? Why not!" Tweek said for the both of them. Stan looked just as disappointed as he was.

"Tweek, did you really believe for a second that I was going to agree to this? You guys don't need to do this, but since you're sort of insisting, I have no choice but to go along with it. So, can you please think of something more..." I tried to look for a word to describe the type of thing I would be willing to do, but nothing came. 'Stoic' and 'boring' aren't really the types of things to do when trying to woo somebody. Jack was anything but boring on the Titanic and Noah wasn't stoic in the Notebook, not that I have ever watched those movies. My sister told me. Really.

"Craig." Marsh completed my thought, smiling at me. I hated when he did that.

"Yeah..." I said, my eyebrows arching slightly. For once in his life, he was right about something. The Marsh kid couldn't have made it sound any better. "Yeah, I like that." I nodded in approval, sparing him the tiniest of smiles.

"Craig?!" Tweek scrunched up his face as if my name was one of a disgusting fungus that grows underneath the feet of fat sweaty people... who smell.

"Yeah. We can't make him do stuff that he wouldn't. It has to be more discreet, normal, not something that says 'I'm trying to make a move on you!' but more like 'this is a date, but you don't know that yet!'"

Marsh's description was perfect. He dumb it down to his level, but it was still spot on. That's what I needed. That's what I wanted to do; it would be easier for me to build up the confidence if everything isn't so mushy and sentimental, but more casual and relax. Besides, Kyle is not a girl, so he should not be treated like one. I doubt, with all my heart and soul, that he would expect fluffy and cheesy romance from me.

"That's right." I jerked my chin in the idiot's direction. "Kyle's a dude, after all."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Tweek spat at me, crossing his arms over his chest. He was getting pissed off, not because I rejected his ideas completely, but because I was taking Stan's side.

"It means that Kyle's a guy and would feel just as uncomfortable with long walks on the beach as I would. Not to mention fancy dinners and..." I shivered. "Serenading."

"Fine." Tweek said and stood up. "This is gonna be hard as hell. I mean, we have to think of something both of you like and –"

"Fuck me. As long as he likes it, I don't give a fuck." I cut in impatiently. I rolled my shoulders back and ran a hand through my hair. I was tired and all this stress so early in the morning was just exhausting me all the more. All I wanted, at this point, was to get this over with.

"That would have sounded kind of romantic without all the 'fuck' in between." Stan pointed out. I wanted to punch him in the face, but apparently, that's considered 'mean'.

"I'm not very romantic." I smiled at him humorlessly.

"Yes, yes, who cares what you like!" Tweek said, standing up and throwing his hands up in the air. "We need to know what KYLE would like! What KYLE thinks is fun or romantic or cute or whatever!" He sounded fed up and I knew half of it was my fault. I wasn't really being difficult, but I think in this case, Tweek would have appreciated it if I were more vocal and opinionated about this, especially since it concerned me.

"Okay, so Kyle likes studying and school so –"

"He doesn't LIKE that, he's just good at it. It's not like I'm going to take him to SCHOOL for a date. That's just... God, that's just a new level of lame."

"At least that much you know." Tweek muttered under his breath. "Doesn't the kid like calm stuff, like movies and... I don't know, sitting down?"

Sitting down? Really, Tweek?

"He likes to read." Stan shrugged. "But taking him to the library is just as lame as school if you ask me." He shrugged and then frowned in my direction because I had just sat up abruptly, wild strands of hair falling over my face.

"Wait a second." I said and got up to my feet abruptly. I was staring off and probably seemed a little crazy to the two other people in the room, but what they didn't know was that I had just remembered something, something absolutely genius and that could, later on, become essential to capturing Kyle's heart and oh dear Lord that last part was corny, like I'm in some kind of crappy historical romance.

I ran up my room with all the stealth I had in me, not to wake up anybody. I was trying to remember where it was. Where the HELL did I put that stupid thing. I had gotten it a few Christmases ago and thrown it aside because well, I don't read.

After making a mess in my room, I found the damn thing. A thin piece of plastic, tucked between two old CDs that I had stored away in a shoe box. Before rushing down with excitement, I checked if the gift card was expired. It wasn't, which meant my plan could still work. I stampeded down the stairs, not as careful with the noise I was making as I was going up, and stuck the card in their faces.

"Ha!" I said, triumphantly.

"It's a bookstore gift card." Marsh pointed out the obvious, one of his most advanced skills.

"Yes."

"You're gonna... buy him books?" He said it like he was suggesting it himself.

"Yup." I said and sat back down on the couch. "I'll take him to lunch at the small cafe next to the place and then I'll take him to the store and get him whatever he likes."

I set the card on the table, crossed my arms and legs and continued watching my early morning show, its subject still unknown because I'm not really paying much attention.

"That's it?"

"Yes."

"And when, during this date, will you tell him that you have a boner for him?" Tweek asked like a mother would ask their kid when he's going to start studying for his final exam.

"Hey dude, that's Kyle you're talking about." Stan said, frowning slightly as if Tweek's latter statement confused him more than it offended him.

"He's not your daughter, Marsh." I rolled my eyes.

"Yes, and thank God for that." Tweek cut in, waving both of us away, annoyed at how we were swaying from the subject. "Okay, so when are you going to tell him that it's a date and that you have feelings for him and whatnot."

"Ill tell him."

"Yes, but when?" He said, emphasizing the last word.

"I will. When I feel like I should , I will tell him." I turned back to the TV, end of discussion.

What I wasn't telling Tweek was that I had no idea when THAT was going to happen either. Honestly speaking, I would love to just put that off until I really, really had to tell him. In fact, if there was a way of letting him know without me having to tell him in any way, I would go with that. It would be perfect, involving no words whatsoever.

"You could always just randomly kiss him, that could also get the point across pretty well." I looked up at Tweek and Stan, but I knew it was pointless. That hadn't come from either of them. Besides, it's not like they can read my mind.

However, the little voice in my head can do it just fine.

"You sure?" I thought.

"Yup." It responded, but I didn't trust it one bit.

"Hey guys." I addressed them. "Could I just like, randomly kiss him instead?"

It was like fucking Christmas morning. You don't see smiles like that every day in the gloomy, depressing town of South Park where winter never seems to leave. Marsh looked like an excited puppy who was ready to pounce on me at any second now to lick my face, while as Tweek just looked deranged... very, very deranged.

"Of course you can!" He squealed, clasping his hands together.

"Cool, thanks." I ended it before they could ask me more questions or worse, give me suggestions OR even worse... give me a demonstration. Yuck, no thank you.

"What gave you that idea?" Marsh asked. He looked amused and I didn't like it. I don't want Stanley Marsh looking amused in my house. I don't want to be amusing Stanley Marsh in my house. In my house, Stanley Marsh should not be amused... yeah, you get the idea.

"That way I won't have to speak." I grinned at him, but even he could tell that it was all sarcastic.

"Ugh, there's always something behind it." My twitchy friend sighed, like I was the one being the burden here.

Alright, I had enough of this. "Okay, I'm gonna go upstairs and text him for our... date, I guess. You two can show yourselves out. Goodnight." I got up and started power walking to the stairs before either of them could say anything else that might give me a headache.

"Um, sure Craig. Need anything else for your... date?" I had my back to him, but I knew my best friend was full of glee and probably smiling his ass off. It must be hard to giggle while you're talking, but Tweek was managing it just fine, all to my great annoyance.

"Yes. Money and scissors, but I can get those myself, thanks. Goodbye." I ran upstairs before anyone could say anything else. I heard them leave, which was a relief, and went back to my bed. I had a plan that needed elaborating, but I could do that later, after some sleep.

I wasn't kidding about the scissors, by the way. I'm going to be needing them.


End file.
